


Ballots and Bows

by electric_eel



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2018-12-31 20:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 81,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12140475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electric_eel/pseuds/electric_eel
Summary: He's going to need all the help he can get.





	1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! This story will follow cannon… with a few twists. I’ll be working on my other story, I’ll Be Waiting, at the same time as this one. This will be a little heavier on the fluff though. As always, I would LOVE your feedback. Hope you enjoy it!

xXxXxXxXx

“Bartlet for America." The voice was clearly distracted, which wasn't exactly a stretch considering the amount of commotion in the background. 

"CJ? What are you doing answering the phone?"

"Donna? Is that you? Oh thank the heavens." CJ did nothing to mask her overwhelming relief. 

"My sister said you called- CJ, is she everything alright?"

She could hear a loud crash in the background and then the unmistakable sound of Josh's yelling. 

"Oh, everything's fine here. Perfectly fine," CJ lied. 

"You're going to have to work on your presentation when you're spinning," Donna told her. She could hear a door close and silence finally resonate from the other end of the line. 

"Donna, listen, I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do, but what would we have to do to get you to come back?"

"Is he okay?" The shouting had resumed in the background. Donna wondered if it had followed CJ. 

"He's, uh, in rare form lately." CJ didn't want to get into it and completely terrify Donna, but the truth was that he'd been nothing short of falling apart since she left to return to that asshole boyfriend of hers in Wisconsin. 

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Donna told her. 

"Donna, you're a goddess. When can we expect you? I'll leave a key to my room at the front desk. You can stay with me until they put you on salary."

She smiled. Never before has she become such fast friends with a group of people. 

"I'll be at the office in 20 minutes."

"Great. Wait- what?!"

Donna bit her lip. "I'm calling from a pay phone at a gas station outside of town. I left yesterday to come back. I drove all night. I would have been here sooner but there was a... thing. In Wisconsin."

"Be careful, Donna." Though she'd only known her a few weeks, she was forming a fast friendship with Donna Moss. "I'll see you in a little bit."

CJ ended the call and walked back to her makeshift office, past the disaster area that was now Josh Lyman's space. He was in the corner with Leo, rambling on about who knows what, and Leo and the Governor both looked like they were about at the end of their rope with him. 

She hoped Donna would do the trick and get him back on track. No matter how annoyed she could be with Josh, she had a soft spot for him. And she also knew the campaign couldn't survive without him. 

OooooooooooO

Donna sat on the floor beside Josh's desk, sorting through the apparent explosion of paperwork that had occurred while she was gone. 

Everyone had been so warm upon her return, welcoming her with open arms, most of them literally. But she was still nervous- she hadn't seen Josh yet. He'd been in a meeting all afternoon, and given the fact that he was supposed to be back about two hours ago, Donna was fairly sure he'd have himself worked into a later by the time he made it back to headquarters. 

She wasn't sure what his reaction to seeing her in his office would be, though she'd played all the possible scenarios through her head on the drive from Wisconsin. 

Readjusting her injured ankle, Donna moved slightly on the floor, stacking a few papers into an organized pile. Only one more box to go. She glanced around, almost amazed at the work she'd accomplished in a few short hours. The office was so tidy now he could actually take a meeting or get something done. 

Pulling the last bit closer to her, she heard the front door close with a bang and heavy footsteps coming towards her. The outer offices went a bit more quiet than usual, and given the absence of conversation, or yelling, for that matter, she knew Josh was here, and he was in one hell of a mood. 

Entering his office he forcefully threw his backpack into corner, and rounded his desk, grabbing a portfolio out of his middle drawer, throwing a new stack of paperwork onto his newly organized desk and starting to storm off again. It was only then that he seemed to notice that his office was tidy. He looked up and glanced around, eyes landing on Donna, sitting in the far corner. 

"Oh thank God," he muttered. "There's a pile of things on the desk."

And with that, he was off to his next meeting, leaving Donna in a stunned silence on the floor. 

OooooooooooooooO

The tiny hotel didn't have an elevator and of course CJ's room was on the second floor. So after an exhaustive 15 minutes Donna had finally made it to the doorway from the car, CJ patiently walking beside her, Sam following closely with her bags. 

Once they were finally settled into the room, the stress and uncertainty of the day melted away and Donna felt immediately at home again. She was among friends. 

"Get settled in, ladies. I'll be back in 20 minutes with Toby to take you to dinner," Sam announced, walking to the door. "Welcome home, Donna," he told her, flashing her a bright smile. 

"I'm taking a quick shower," CJ announced. "Need anything?"

"No, go ahead. I'm just going to take a little nap," Donna told her, propping her ankle up on a pillow. 

It wasn't more than a few minutes, however, before Donna awoke to a pounding at her door, her name being bellowed from the other side. Sitting up, she grabbed for her crutches and began to make her way to the door. 

"Donna!"

"I'm coming."

Knock, knock, knock. "Donna!"

"I'm coming, Josh."

"Donna!"

She swung the door open on the third bellow and he stood there, his nose buried in a folder of polling statistics. 

"What took you so long," he spouted, sauntering through the doorway without ever looking up. "I need you to set up a meeting with the Senators from Indiana and Illinois. I'm also going to need 15 minutes with... What in the hell happened to you?!" He'd finally looked up, noticing her ankle, and every other thought he'd had left his mind. "You should sit down," he offered her a little help as she made her way back to the bed. 

She laughed, shaking her head. Only Josh could go from so unaware to so concerned in such a short amount of time. 

He stared at her ankle. "What happened," he asked, genuine concern in his voice. 

"I slipped on the ice. It was a late thaw..."

"You should put down kitty litter," he told her. "Do you need anything? Can I get you something?"

"I'm fine. We're getting ready to go to dinner with Sam and Toby," she told him. "You coming?"

"I, uh, have to take care of a few things. Maybe I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Yeah, okay." Truth be told she was a little disappointed. She'd missed him. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, no," he recoiled. "Go ahead. It's just some personal stuff. Paperwork."

She nodded her head. She'd been taking care of his personal affairs before she'd left. Maybe he was hesitant around her now. She hated that she'd violated his trust.

Josh checked his watch and left in a hurry, but not before telling her he was glad to have her back. 

Minutes later Sam arrived with Toby and the four set out for dinner and drinks. “Ugh, these steps again,” Donna muttered.

“Not to worry,” Sam jumped in, crouching over a bit. “Hop on, Donna. You can never be too old for a good old fashioned piggy back ride.”

“You can,” Toby interjected dryly. “And you are.”

Donna hopped on Sam’s back as she and CJ giggled profusely. They were down the steps in no time, Sam now determined to carry her all the way to the bar. Their laughter and joking continued around the corner where the four of them stepped directly into a now legendary Mandy/Josh screaming match. Sam froze, Donna and CJ’s faces falling. The four of them stared at their friend and his girlfriend, unsure of what to say.

Taking a good look at the image of Donna on Sam’s back, Josh shot Sam a stare.

Sam gently put Donna down as she took her crutches from CJ.

“Boy, you can sure kill a fun night,” CJ remarked towards Josh and Mandy. 

“Donna. Welcome back.” The fake smile on Mandy’s face was obvious to everyone as Josh stretched his neck. 

“We’re headed out for dinner,” Sam stated, wishing to get out of there as quickly as possible. “Across the street. Stop by later, drinks are on me,” Sam added with a smile. 

The foursome ate dinner and sipped a few drinks, Toby eventually heading toward the bar for another round as Sam and CJ took a trip around the dance floor. Sitting alone with her ankle propped up in the corner booth, Donna barely noticed Josh before he sat down. 

“Rough day,” she asked him as if she wasn’t well aware of the answer. 

He leaned his head back on the booth and loosened his tie. “You have no idea,” he muttered. 

She slid him her beer. 

“But it’s certainly looking up,” he told her.

They were joined by the rest of the senior staff and spent the evening filling Donna in on the last few weeks. Josh remained oddly quiet, as though his mind was anywhere but there. 

One by one the bar cleared out and Josh and Donna walked slowly back to the hotel.

“What’s on your mind, Josh,” she asked. “And don’t tell me its nothing, because clearly that’s not true.”

He sighed. She could read him like a book. “I just got a weird voicemail today. It didn’t make any sense and it was very vague. It’s nothing to worry about. Probably just a mix up.”

“Oh. Well, do you want to talk about it,” Donna offered.

“Uh, no,” Josh scrubbed his hands over his face. “Actually I don’t. I appreciate it, Donna, but it doesn’t even warrant my attention, and I’m exhausted.” 

He helped her slowly up the motel steps. “I’m getting you a room on the bottom floor tomorrow,” he muttered. He knew that she was double bunking with CJ to save money but he didn’t mind the extra expense. He was just glad to have her back.

Walking her to her door, he didn’t hesitate before leaning in and giving her a gentle hug. “Welcome Home, Donnatella. I missed you.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Before she could even blink they were back on the road. Donna quickly re-adjusted to the campaign life, loving the fast pace of the days and the high spirited conversation. She fell back into a familiar flow with Josh, too. They were very much in sync with one another, and that’s why she noticed that something was bothering him for the last 12 hours. He was just- off. She’d tried to bring it up but he’d panicked, so she’d dropped it. 

Now, however, they were in Manhattan, just having finished a campaign stop and Leo was flagging her over.

“Donna,” he began, “Josh has a personal errand in midtown. You’re going with him.

Josh’s eyes immediately went wide as he began to protest.

“Quiet,” Leo immediately silenced him.

“He’s going to his father’s firm to take care of a private matter. You’re going to ride with him and then sit in the waiting room while he handles a few things. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course,” Donna didn’t hesitate. It wasn’t like Josh to keep her so out of the loop, so when he did, Donna didn’t want to push. 

“Leo…” Josh started again, looking rather out of sorts.

“She’s going with you,” Leo told him as though it was final, “because if she doesn’t you’re going to lose it and someone’s going to have to drive all the way down there to scrape you off the ceiling and I just don’t have time for that today. My driver is waiting for you in the front of the building.” And with that he walked away.

Donna silently followed Josh into the waiting town car and rode with him through the crowded streets. She was taking in the city around her, spouting off trivia and asking him a few questions here and there, but Josh was mysteriously quiet. Arriving at their destination, Josh and Donna took the elevator up to a sleekly decorated law firm and Josh was immediately ushered into his father’s office where the door closed immediately.

Donna made herself as comfortable as possible in the waiting room, feeling rather out of place. A half an hour had passed before a tall man bearing a striking resemblance to Josh emerged.

“Donna?” he asked.

She stood hesitantly. “Mr. Lyman?”

“Ah, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” he told her, walking her into his office. The two carried on a casual conversation for a few minutes, Donna stealing glances at Josh, who appeared to be lost in his thoughts. 

“Josh tells me it’s your first time in the city,” Noah commented.

“Yes. And it’s wonderful,” Donna smiled.

“Good. Well, since the two of you have a free evening I hope you’ll join Edith and I for dinner. We have reservations in an hour,” he told her. 

Josh still remained in a somewhat comatose state in the corner. 

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Donna told him.

Josh’s head spun around to look at her and he shot her a look begging her to stay.

“Oh, um, but it does sound lovely.”

“Great. It’s settled. Let’s go,” Noah clapped his hands together, grabbing his briefcase and standing. “And Donna, if you don’t mind, we’ll just keep this afternoon’s meeting between the three of us for the time being, alright?”

Donna nodded her agreement, but she really didn’t understand. What was going on with Josh?”


	2. Chapter 2

Josh continued to be high strung and somewhat reclusive the next few weeks. Unsure of what, exactly, the issue was, Donna rolled with the punches. She knew how to anticipate his needs and she did so, running interference with anyone she could.

If they were alone, or wrapped up in a project, Josh would begin to relax a bit, but that was becoming more and more rare. If they were on the road he’d somehow morph into his old self. He’d split a beer with Donna and they’d work late into the night, laughing and joking with the rest of the senior staff. When they were in Nashua, however, Josh would disappear after work. Any off weekends would find him out of town and if his mother called he’d be sure to close the door for the conversation. 

Donna knew Noah Lyman was sick, but that wasn’t what was distracting Josh. He’d talk to her about that. Rather than alienate him further, Donna just decided to blindly support him, working as hard as she could to make his life a little easier.

She was finishing up a project late Friday night in the campaign headquarters, most of the staff having left for the evening when Leo found her.

“Where’s Josh,” he asked, looking closely at a blue file folder full of what appeared to be polling data.

“He’s gone for the weekend,” she told him.

“Already?” Leo glanced at his watch, surprised to see that Josh had left so early on a Friday.

“Damnit,” he muttered. “I need to get this to him tonight. We can’t wait til Monday.”

“Oh, um, can I fax it?” Donna offered. “Or is it something I can read to him over the phone?”

Leo shook his head. “Donna, have you ever been to Connecticut?”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Donna parked the one way rental in the driveway of the address that Leo had given her. She checked and double checked what she’d written, taking in the large, beautiful house. Pulling the grouping of folders that Leo had compiled and sent, Donna grabbed her purse and locked the car.

She’d had 3 hours to process what Leo had told her before she’d left but she couldn’t quiet wrap her head around it. It did, however, explain the way Josh had been acting.

She rang the doorbell, standing nervously on the front porch. Only a few moments later she heard Josh’s familiar footsteps walking quickly to the door and throwing it open.

The stood there, face to face, neither of them speaking. Josh was stunned; his eyes widened in surprise. “I thought you were the pizza guy,” he admitted to her, unsure of what to say.

“I’m not,” she supplied. “I’m your assistant. And also, you know, not a guy,” she joked. “Your mom ordered pizza for dinner?” Donna was surprised.

“She’s not here,” Josh told her, still not moving. He wasn’t sure what to say.

Donna, for her part, thought he looked pretty damn adorable in his jeans and tshirt with a little burp rag over one shoulder and a baby in his arms.

Ready to take the tension from the air, Donna stepped inside, immediately placing a light hand on the baby’s back. “And you must be Audrey Joan,” she cooed. It was only a few seconds before she had placed her things down and gently taken the baby from Josh, fawning over her.

Josh stood there, dumbstruck, and scratched the back of his head. “How did you-“

“Leo,” she supplied, her attention now focused solely on tiny Audrey. 

She wandered into the living room where Josh had clearly been watching the Mets game prior to her arrival, making herself at home on the couch.

“Why are you here,” he asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you,” he supplied quickly.

“Something urgent with polling data. The folder is next to my purse.” 

The pizza arrived and Josh studied the data, talking over a few of the finer points with Donna. Audrey barely made a peep- she was content to be held by Donna. After Josh put her down he collapsed on the floor, leaning back on the couch next to Donna.

“I’m beat,” he announced. “I don’t know how something so tiny can make me so exhausted.”

Donna chuckled. 

“Donna, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I am. It’s just all very overwhelming for me right now.”

Donna placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure it is. But Josh you know I’m here if you need a hand.”

He nodded that he did.

“So, not to be too intrusive, but I think the cat’s out of the bag now… so, what happened? Leo only gave me the bare details.”

It was a one night stand, he explained. Something that he never did, with the kind of woman he never even found attractive. It just- happened. And then, 9 months later, he got a call from the hospital. She’d had the baby and then had what Josh was referring to as a ‘spiritual awakening’ and had decided to move to a remote mountain retreat in Thailand. She’d signed the paperwork waiving parental rights and that was that. Josh had a DNA test completed and Audrey was, in fact, his. He’d taken care of the paperwork for it at Noah’s office in the city that day and soon afterwards the results came back and the legal portion was taken care of. His parents were helping with Audrey during the campaign. 

At some point during their conversation, Donna had found her hand in his curls, gently reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this. 

“I’m terrified,” he’d admitted. 

“Probably normal,” she’d told him. “But you don’t have to do it on your own, Josh. Remember that.”

They’d talked for a while longer, Donna finally getting up and stretching. “I better get going,” she admitted. 

“What?” He looked at the clock. “It’s 1am.”

She nodded. “Leo said he’d pay for a hotel. I’m just going to get some sleep and drive back in the morning.”

“No way,” he shook his head. “You’ll stay here. We have plenty of room. Besides, my Mom would have a stroke if she found out you were in town and didn’t stay with us. She really likes you, you know,” he told her.

“I’m quite charming, Joshua,” she quipped. 

“So you say,” he responded, not missing a beat.

He grabbed the keys to her rental, glad she didn’t drive her beat up car all the way to Westport, and retrieved her bags. Scribbling a note to his parents that Donna was in the guest room he showed her upstairs, telling her to make herself at home and calling it a night, knowing that Audrey would be awake and hungry very soon.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Donna slept like a dream. She was in a large, comfortable bed, in a home, not a discount motel room with itchy sheets. Waking up the next morning she took a leisurely shower and then dressed for breakfast, taking in the Lyman home during the daylight.

“Donna! So good to see you, dear,” Edith Lyman was on her feet immediately, ushering the younger woman to the breakfast table and pouring her a cup of coffee.

“Thank you, Mrs. Lyman. You have such a lovely home,” Donna did love the way the house looked, but more than that she loved the way it felt. Like it was lived in, that they were a family there. It made her a little homesick for Wisconsin. 

“Please, I think we’re past the formalities. Call me Edie, everyone does.”

“Oh, alright. Thanks, Edie.”

Donna and Edie spent the early morning catching up with each other, only interrupted when Edie apologized, telling Donna she was late for a volunteer meeting and heading off. A very frazzled Josh finally wandered down the stairs holding a very alert Audrey a little while later. “Doesn’t she need rest,” he asked, exasperated.

“Well I don’t know,” Donna told him. “But you look like you could use some.”

“Thank you, Donna. How insightful,” he moseyed over to the sink, picking up a clean bottle and rooting around in the pantry for the formula. 

Donna hopped up and took Audrey from him, the baby immediately cuddling into her. She kissed the top of her soft little whips of hair and then took the bottle from Josh. “Go back to bed,” she told him. “You can’t function like this and Leo needs you to know what’s going on this afternoon.”

“But-“

“But nothing. We’ll be fine. I’ve taken care of babies before, Josh,” she assured him. “I’ll come and wake you up if anything is wrong.”

Not having the energy to protest, Josh drug himself up the stairs and immediately passed out.

Donna and Audrey had an easy morning and the baby was bathed, fed, changed, dressed and happy by the time Donna woke Josh for the conference call. 

“You’re amazing,” Josh told her, marveling at the apparent ease with which the morning had run.

“I know,” she told him. “Now give me your credit card. We’re going shopping and Audrey might want a new outfit.” She gave him a smile and, though he rolled his eyes, he reached into his wallet and handed over his American Express.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Edie took Donna out to lunch, excited for the young woman’s company. After that they’d hit a few stores, Donna finding herself unable to resist a few tiny outfits.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Edie told Donna. “I was so worried about him. He’s giving it his all but between this and the campaign he’s just burning the candle from both ends. Noah and I made plans this weekend, trying to give him some time alone with Audrey to settle in, but it may have just been too much.”

“He seems to be doing alright. He’s great with her,” Donna told Edie honestly. “I just think it’s a bit overwhelming for him.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Donna stayed the rest of the weekend, returning her rental car in Westport and riding back to New Hampshire with Josh. He’d been himself on the car ride, and Donna could tell he was excited to have someone to confide in about Audrey.

“You know, you can tell them. CJ, Toby and Sam, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Josh sighed. “I know. I will. I just- wanted some time to process it all.”

Donna thought that was understandable. She was also glad she now knew what was going on. She’d be better able to assist Josh in all areas now that she knew what was really going on.

Pulling in to a parking spot at the hotel they were now calling home, Josh hadn’t even shut the car off when Mandy stormed out of the lobby, yelling on her way over.

“Well, have fun with that,” Donna told him. “I’m off to find a cold drink and a hot bath.”

Josh groaned, getting out of the car to listen to the verbal thrashing he knew was coming.

Donna grabbed her bag, uttered a chipper “Hi, Mandy!” and continued up to her room.

She was barely done unpacking from the weekend when CJ knocked on her door.

“Mind if I hang out in here for a little while,” she asked. “There’s an excessive amount of yelling bleeding through the walls in my room.”

“Josh and Mandy,” Donna ventured a guess.

“Yeah,” CJ confirmed. “Who else fights like that. It probably won’t be long. He usually just takes a verbal beating and she leaves.”

Donna bit her tongue. “May be a bit longer tonight,” she told CJ. “They’ve got a lot to talk about. But, I’ve got wine and this place has cable, so we’re all set.”

“I’ll drink to that,” CJ laughed.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

One by one, Josh pulled the senior staff aside and told them about Audrey, meeting a variety of responses. 

Toby was mostly indifferent, his concern for Josh’s personal life largely not his top priority. 

Sam was congratulatory. He’d asked Josh several questions, and though it was obvious he wished Josh would have confided in him to begin with, by the end of the conversation he understood Josh’s reasoning. 

CJ was shocked. She would have never guessed. She was glad he was having this discussion with her so she wouldn’t have to hear it from the press, but assured him it shouldn’t be an issue. There was probably no scandal brewing and she doubted anyone would care the campaign manager of a dark horse candidate was raising his little girl on the weekends. She congratulated him with a hug, and went back to what she was doing.

Mandy, however, didn’t take it so well. She experienced a wide range of emotions, telling Josh repeatedly that she was a political operative, not a mother. After their blowout fight at the hotel they’d seen less and less of her. And when she was in town she was clear with Josh about the nature of their relationship- she wanted the clout that came with being associated with him, but she wasn’t going to be changing diapers at 2am.

Josh continued to go to Westport as often as possible but a the campaign continued, his free time became less and less. Donna saw it but didn’t know what to do. After the end of a particularly long week Leo gave them Saturday afternoon and Sunday off. Josh, who hadn’t slept in 2 days, was close to dropping.

As they unloaded from the campaign bus, Donna didn’t even let him get to his room.

“Give me your car keys,” she demanded, catching him off guard.

“Why?”

“Your bag is already packed. Throw it in the trunk. I’m driving you to Westport for the night. You can nap on the way.” 

And so they did. Josh spent some quality time with Audrey and caught up on his sleep. Donna had a weekend away and the Lyman family welcomed her with open arms. 

Donna adored Audrey, hating to leave her on Sunday afternoon just as much as Josh did. They said their goodbyes and Josh loaded their bags into the car as Donna held Audrey for just another minute.

“I’m glad you two made the trip,” Noah Lyman told her. “You’re welcome in our home any time, Donna. You’re family now,” he patted her on the shoulder. “Take good care of him for me,” he nodded to Josh.

“Thank you,” she told him genuinely, touched at his sentiment. “I will.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

The night of the Illinois primary had been an emotional roller coaster for Josh. He drug his feet down the aisle of the aircraft, searching for his seat on the flight. He’d just had the strangest interaction with the Governor, and now he was headed home. He couldn’t get there fast enough. As devastated as he was about the loss of his father, he knew his mother would be grief-stricken and he hated the thought of her facing it alone.

Josh sat down next to a businessman and settled in to his seat, closing his eyes. It was only a few moment later that he heard her voice, requesting if the man would switch her for a first class ticket. She needed, she explained, to sit in this row.

The man gladly agreed to the upgrade and Josh opened his eyes, glad he wasn’t dreaming. Donna sat down next to him and Josh gave her a sad smile. “What are you doing here,” he asked.

“Assisting you. There’s apparently something in the job description I’ve never seen about it.”

He appreciated her gentle humor and closed his eyes again, comforted by her presence.

And assist Donna did. Aside from being an emotional comfort to both Josh and Edie, she helped with Audrey, tidied up around the house, greeted friends and neighbors and made sure everyone was eating. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Josh told her in the middle of the night as he passed her in the hall. Audrey had been crying and she’d slipped in to pick her up, trying to intercept the fussing infant before Josh woke. 

“I know,” she told him honestly. “But I want to,” she ran a soft hand over the baby’s head and pulled her close. “Get some sleep, our flight is early tomorrow.”

Josh nodded his head but didn’t move. They had to get back to the campaign rather quickly, but Josh was grateful for the time he could spend in Connecticut. “Thanks,” he told Donna. “For everything. You didn’t have to be here- you didn’t have to do any of this, but I- I’m grateful you did.”

His thanks meant the world to her. She gave him a soft smile. “Any time, Joshua,” she told him before continuing to pace Audrey to sleep. And she meant it.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Ok, well know we're all on the same page. And so begins our journey through the West Wing years with an extra cute little addition... :)


	3. Chapter 3

They did it. They'd won the democratic nomination. Josh's initial reaction had been to scoop up Donna and spin her around. The music blasted and the staffers all began to let loose. 

After the initial celebration had subsided they'd moved to Josh's room, all camping out on his balcony with a leftover bottle of champagne CJ had swiped and Toby's scotch. They'd sat up until the early hours of the morning laughing, strategizing, drinking and smoking Toby's cigars. 

Eventuality they others filtered back to their rooms leaving Josh and Donna alone. "Oh, I almost forgot," she hopped up and ran inside, letting herself into her adjoining room. He could hear her rooting around for something, retuning a moment later with a small wrapped package. 

"Congratulations," she told him. "You did a great thing today."

He smiled at her praise. "So did you."

She handed him the package and stood there as he opened it, pulling out a tiny onesie with the Bartlet for America logo on it and a tiny American flag patterned bow. 

"This is amazing!" He shot her a full dimpled grin, truly excited for the gift. "Thank you," he reached in and wrapped her in a genuine hug, lingering a bit. It was safe to say she didn't mind. 

"Hey, do you want to go with me next time I head to Westport," he asked somewhat tentatively. 

"Yeah, I'd like that," she told him. "I know you miss her, Josh," she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

He nodded his head. After the moment had passed Josh stood and announced he was headed to bed. "Now that the nomination is officially ours they're going to need us in DC a couple days next week," he told her, returning to business as usual. "Book us tickets into National for the day after tomorrow," he told her. "Sam too. Leo will meet us there. 

"Okay. Where do you want to stay?"

"Won't need a hotel. We can just crash at my place. If, uh, if you're okay with that."

She smiled. "Kay."

She'd only known Josh Lyman for a few months but their comfort level with each other would indicate otherwise. 

OooooooooO

It occurred to her, only after she had turned off the light in Josh's guest bedroom, that perhaps this arrangement could be misconstrued. Though she and Josh were just friends and he was kind enough to offer her a place to stay, she didn't want to be on Mandy's bad side. 

Donna slept for a few hours but work up early. Due to the campaign schedule she was used to getting very little sleep. She wandered quietly around Josh's apartment after turning on the copy. 

"What are you doing up," he shuffled into the room behind her, hair wild with bedhead. 

"I think you should make this room the nursery," she stated. It has that great nook and the window. 

He looked around a bit, considering it. "Kay."

She giggled. "Kay? It was that easy? You're agreeing?"

He shrugged his shoulders, still groggy. "Whatever you say."

Josh went about his day, returning to his apartment with take out for Donna and Sam, whom he'd been informed would meet him there. He walked into the entryway of his apartment, which was now filled to the top with boxes. 

"Donna," he called out, wondering what in the hell had happened in the 4 hours he'd been out. 

"I'm in here," she yelled from down the hallway. 

He stepped into the room she'd earlier in the day declared to be a nursery to see Donna on a small ladder, hanging curtains, a smudge of lavender paint that matched the freshly coated walls smeared across her cheek. 

"Uhhh... Donna? Something you want to run by me?"

"What?" She turned to look at him. "You said this was the nursery."

He just shook his head. "And I'm beginning to see just how right I was about that," he laughed. 

She climbed down from the ladder. "Give me a hand with the rug," she told him, walking up to the large pile of things in the foyer. "And then you and Sam can start to assemble the furniture after dinner."

Josh groaned. "Wasn't there an option to have it delivered in one piece?"

"Yes. But we passed on that."

"You're getting a little fast and loose with the definition of the word 'we' aren't you, Donna?"

"Yeah, yeah," she smiled. "Where's dinner?"

He laughed procuring the Chinese take our and 6 pack and dropping onto the floor to eat. 

Sam had arrived and they'd put the nursery together completely, though, Donna though, the crib assembly had taken significantly longer than the man in the store had suggested. But now the room was all put together and Sam had said his goodbyes. 

Josh and Donna, both exhausted, were sprawled out on the rug in Audrey's new room. 

"You did a great job on this," Josh offered, staring at the ceiling. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I hope she likes it. She just... I really love that sweet little girl, Josh." 

"I know you do," he told her. "And we're lucky to have you."

Donna didn't say much in response for a moment, eventually finding her voice. "Josh? Why do you stay with Mandy?"

That was the last thing he had expected to hear. 

He sighed. "It's not... we're not..." That was the thing. They weren't together. She'd made if very clear that she wasn't looking to be tied down and she had no ideas about putting her career on hold and raising Audrey with him. So, it was just... actually it wasn't even physical for them at this point. Josh knew that above anything else he was politically advantageous for her to associate with. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

"I'm bad at relationships, Donna," he admitted into the dimly lit room. 

"I could guess," she laughed at him. "But you're a good man, Joshua, and when it's the right woman none of that will matter."

"Yeah," he hoped she was right. "What about you though?"

"What about me?"

"Are you seeing anyone? A local republican homer, perhaps?"

"Yes, Josh. In all of my spare time I'm dating the hair of the RNC and it's just never come up."

"Sarcasm?"

"You're very intuitive tonight, Lyman."

He laughed. It felt good to laugh. Why was everything so easy with her and so hard with everyone else?

"What happened with Freeride?"

She didn't respond immediately. 

"You don't have to answer that," he said. "I shouldn't have..."

She took a deep breath and started at the beginning. It felt good to get it off of her chest, honestly. Most of the story she'd never even told her closest friends or her mother. About his refusal to let her go back to school, about the way he spoke to her, about the infidelity. About everything but the car accident. 

"You deserve better, Donna. Much better," the level of disgust in Josh's voice was evident. 

Donna laughed. "They're not exactly lining up."

"Well then they're crazy," Josh told her, daring to glance over at her and show his sincerity.

"You'll find the right woman too, you know. And I'm sure she'll be incredible."

"Yeah, a workaholic single father. What a catch," he chuckled defeatedly. "I'm not exactly what women are looking for." 

"Well then they're crazy," Donna echoed his words, giving him a little poke in the arm. 

How had this woman already become his best friend? His other half. 

OoooooooooO

When the election was officially called for Bartlet, the first person Josh looked for was Donna. He quickly wrapped her in a hug and spun her around. 

"You did it," she told him grinning widely, a celebration breaking out all around them. "You really did it."

At that moment he should have been thinking of a million things. But all he could focus on was her smile. He'd made Donna proud. 

He kissed her on the cheek and pulled her to the dance floor. Logistics could come later. 

OoooooooooO

Josh, Donna, Sam, Toby and CJ sat with in a row on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. They'd all moved to DC, transition now fully under way. Their lives were becoming busier and more stressful by the hour. 

Donna has never been sightseeing in DC and it had been ages since CJ had played tourist so they'd all ended up on an impromptu trip to the Mall. 

Sam had played tour guide while Toby and Josh discussed strategy and staffing, CJ and Donna content just to be out of the office. 

They'd had dinner and a few drinks and were now rehashing some of their favorite stories about each other from the campaign. 

"It's incredible," Donna finally stated. "This," she gestured towards the national mall. "I can't believe I'm here- with you guys."

"Well we wouldn't be here without you," Josh offered. 

"That's for sure," CJ noted. "Nobody else could reign that one in."

Toby and Sam laughed while Josh and Donna exchanged a look. They did make an excellent team. 

"Hawk and Dove?" Sam suggested what was quickly becoming their favorite spot. 

"I can get behind that," Toby stood and they began to descend the steps, CJ right behind them. 

"Right behind you," Josh called but didn't move from where he sat beside Donna. 

"Hard to believe I'm going to work in the White House," Donna stated, still marveling at where she was. "I don't think I've ever really thanked you," she began. 

"Nothing to thank me for," he cut her off. "You're not here as a favor, Donna. You've proven yourself. You've earned your seat at the table."

"But you took a chance on me, Josh. And that's not lost on me. You had no reason to hire me, and no reason to take me back, or ask Leo to give me a permanent job."

"Whoa. Slow down. Leo had every reason to give you a permanent job, Donna. And that was his call. But I don't succeed without you. Don't sell yourself short. And for the record, Donna, I'll always take you back but please, I'm begging you not to leave again." He stared across the darkening city. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Josh," she told him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm in this for the long run. And I'm all in."

They sat for a moment, enjoying a peaceful moment in their otherwise frantic world. 

"It's going to get so much harder," he finally admitted. "And I don't know if I can juggle it all."

She knew what he meant, and she just let him get it all out, not interested in interrupting him. 

"I'm already burning the candle at both ends here and we aren't even governing yet. And she'll be here tomorrow. I just don't know how I can make it all work."

"You'll find a way," she told him, all the confidence in the world in her voice. "You always do. You have a knack for it, you know. Making the difficult into an easy reality. Look at the President Elect. You found a way."

Josh didn't say anything to that. 

"And you're not alone in this, Josh. Don't forget that. There are so many people who care about you, and care about Audrey. You're never going to be all by yourself. And you can always ask for help, okay."

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks," he offered sincerely, knowing Donna would be right by his side through all of this. He was somehow greatly comforted by that. By her. 

They'd morphed into this easy companionship and more than anything he hoped the White House wouldn't change that. 

"Let's go," she told him. "They'll be waiting for us, and it's the last time you wont need a babysitter. Better live it up, Lyman," she told him with a wink. 

OoooooooooO

Two mornings later found Josh on the couch with Audrey snuggled against his chest. There was no better way, he thought, to start his day. He halfway listened to the morning news, glad he had a late start to the day, and watched her sleep peacefully. She'd arrived with his mother, who was staying with him for the time being, last night. 

He was startled by a knock at the door, wondering who could possibly be here this early. 

His mother answered it, greeting Donna with a warm hug. 

"Sorry, I know it's early but I was on the way in to the office and... I wanted to see her," she almost blushed. 

Josh laughed from the living room, getting up to meet her. "She's right here," he handed Audrey to Donna, both of their faces lighting up. "And I'd say she wanted to see you too."

Donna kissed the baby's chunky little cheeks and pulled her close, absolutely fawning over her. 

"You two catch up, I'll get dressed and you can ride in with me," Josh told her, loving Donna's adoration of his daughter. 

She was right last night, he thought. He wasn't all alone. He wasn't alone at all. 

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Ok so I guess I can't pull off the two stories at once thing. My brain can't focus on what should be happening in both of them. Sorry for the delays in this... the updates will become more regular once I finish I'll Be Waiting. Thanks for sticking with me!! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Timeframe: Crackpots and These Women

Josh sat back in his leather desk chair and stared out his office window, his mind stuck on the small yellow card he'd been handed earlier in the day. 

He couldn't bring his staff. Or his family. 

After a therapy session he was still not feeling much better but at least now he knew what he needed to do. 

He picked up the phone and called his father's firm, requesting that guardianship paperwork be drawn up. A full power of attorney and an amendment to his will. 

OoooooooooO

Donna waved as she approached the front gate, immediately spotting Edith Lyman and Audrey waiting for her. Security had called to let her know they were here. 

Edie embraced Donna as the two exchanged pleasantries. "Josh is in with Leo," Donna explained, sitting down on the bench where they'd been waiting for her. "Hi, Miss Audrey, you look so pretty today," she turned her attention to the baby for a moment. 

"You always find the cutest little outfits for her," Edie commented, noting that Donna had purchased the tiny dress and matching headband that Audrey was currently sporting. 

The two visited for a moment longer, commenting mostly on Audrey's rapidly growing hair and the somewhat wild baby curls that were beginning to form. There were no two ways about it, she was a miniature Josh Lyman. 

Donna inviting Edie to brunch the following weekend when her mother would be visiting from Wisconsin. Edie gladly accepted, looking forward to it. She'd grown very close to Donna, and was very fond of her as well. The role that The younger woman had effortlessly slipped into was not lost on her, but above that, Edie saw the way her son looked at Donna. And the way the Donna saw him as well. 

Though they may not have it all figured out for themselves yet, Edith Lyman knew true love when she saw it. 

OoooooooooO

Donna fed and changed Audrey in Josh's office while she finished reading over the notes she'd typed over the afternoon. Josh was still in his last meeting but the baby was finally dozing off. News that she was in the building spread quickly and Ginger, Carol and CJ had all stopped in for a small dose of happiness. 

"He's ready for us," Charlie peeked through the doorway. "Need a hand with some of that?"

Donna slipped a now sleeping Audrey into her carrier and handed her to Charlie, scribbling Josh a note telling him where they were and grabbing her bag. They made their way to the residence and said their hellos, everyone swooning over sweet little Audrey. 

"Donna?" Ed peeked around the corner. "Josh needs you for a minute."

She looked around the room as Mrs. Landingham stepped in, as if she read Donna's mind. "Go ahead, dear. We'll watch out for the little one."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm sure I'll be right back."

Donna slipped out of the gathering, hurrying down to the Roosevelt room to see what Josh needed. 

She pulled a few files and grabbed him the information he was looking for as quickly as possible, handing it off to him. 

"Your mom dropped the baby off for the party," she told him. "We're in the residence when you're done."

Josh looked at his watch and then back at her. 

"She's already eaten and she dozed off," she told him, knowing what he was thinking. "See you in a minute?"

"Kay," he gave her a simple smile, knowing that his previous worries were unfounded as long as Donna was in their lives. 

OoooooooooO 

Donna climbed the steps to the residence once more, quickening her pace when she heard Audrey's cries from the hallway. 

Peeking through the door she was met with the sobs of a very upset baby and several distressed senior staffers. 

"Donna's back," Toby announced and a flustered CJ rounded the corner. As soon as Audrey saw Donna the crying stopped. 

"Audrey Joan," Donna stated with mock surprise, "why are you crying?" She took the baby from CJ and wiped her teary face. Donna situated herself on the end of the couch with Audrey on her lap, reaching to her bag and handing the little girl a floppy eared stuffed rabbit. 

The gentle interaction between the two was not lost on anyone in the room, though it had become somewhat commonplace. Audrey was content on Donna's lap as the staffers visited and mingled. The President served his chili and Donna ate quickly while the baby was preoccupied by Sam. Audrey was content as long as Donna was within her line of sight. 

OoooooooooO 

Josh drug himself up the stairs to the residence after a hellaciously long day. He wasn't in an overly social mood but he knew the lack of his presence would be noted. 

He wove through his colleagues until he reached Donna, who was holding Audrey and listening CJ speak intently about... wolves?

He shook his head, not wishing to open that can of worms. 

"Hi, shortcake," he greeted Audrey, placing a gentle hand on her back but leaving her in Donna's arms. 

"Go get something to eat, I've got her," Donna told him, a temporary aside from her conversation with CJ. "She's going to get cranky soon so if you still need to talk to Leo you better do it quickly."

"Yeah," Josh sighed. "It's close to bed time."

Josh walked over to the President and Leo, listening to them as they watched the staff members mingle with one another. 

"What’s on your mind, Josh?" He could easily read his surrogate son. 

Josh explains what had been bothering him all day regarding the card. The white flag of surrender, as he thought of it. 

"Leo, it’s not for me. I want to be with my friends, my family, and these women," Josh looked over to where Donna was holding Audrey and smiled, handing the card back. 

Eventually the President wandered over to Zoey and left Leo and Josh to chat. They spoke about the house appropriations bill before Leo changed the conversation to a more causal topic. He'd asked Josh how his mother was going in her new apartment, and teased him about he story he'd heard from Edie about Josh's first night alone in the apartment with Audrey. 

He'd been hellbent not to call his mother, instead frantically ringing Donna, sure that something was horribly wrong with Audrey. Donna had come over to see that the baby was just fussy from teething. She'd handed Audrey the chilled teething ring from the freezer, put the baby to sleep and poured Josh a glass of scotch before leaving, never even teasing Josh about it. The only reason Leo knew is because Josh told Edith, amazed by Donna's instinct when it came to caring for them. 

"You know she cries when she can't see Donna."

Josh's eyebrows shot up. "You mean Audrey?" He cleared his throat, not waiting for the response Leo wasn't offering. "Yeah, I know."

"And Mandy doesn't know how to take care of her. Has no interest in her."

"I'm aware," he sighed. 

"Just as long as you know."

Josh looked at a spot on the carpet. "They don't really know each other. Mandy doesn't really hang around. She doesn't want- it's just physical. Casual." Josh mumbles. 

"Josh let me make one thing very clear to you," Leo told him. "I don't want to know about your..." he made a face. "Extracurricular activities."

Josh would have preferred to spontaneously combust rather than continue on the current route the conversation was taking. 

"But," Leo continued. "I do want to make it clear that it would be one hell of a mess in the press if you date your assistant."

"Leo!" Josh was startled by the older mans statement. 

"And don't you dare do that to Donna, either."

Josh gulped, leaning his head on the wall behind him. 

"They're good girls, Josh," Leo said, patting his shoulder just as Audrey began to get fussy. "And I know you'll do right by them both."

Donna peeked around the corner at that moment, eyeing him as if to let him know it was time to make their exit before Audrey warmed up her vocal chords. After all, the girl was a Lyman. She could certainly yell. 

Josh quickly said his goodbyes, grabbing his backpack, Audrey's bag and the carrier while Donna kept the baby relatively quiet. 

"I'll give you a ride home," Josh told her and Donna followed him out to the car. Audrey had held it together very well all night, only letting out a wail when they'd already reached the parking lot. 

Josh threw the bags in his trunk and clipped Audrey's car seat in, taking the already unhappy baby from Donna and buckling her in, much to Audrey's displeasure. Josh comforted her as the infant went into a full on meltdown. 

"Come on," Donna told him. "She always falls asleep when the car starts moving. I'll sit with her while you drive. Donna slipped in, cupping Audrey's face with her hand and soothing the baby as Josh grabbed his keys. 

It was only a few blocks when Audrey calmed herself and fell asleep. 

"She's out," Donna announced, settling back to watch her sleep. "How was your meeting," she asked, changing subjects. 

Josh told her about his day, leaving out the portions regarding the small pox threat and the NSC card. He loved Donna's perspective and he appreciated having someone to talk to. To share things with. 

She told him about her big block of cheese crazies, giving him a good, much needed, laugh. 

He pulled the car into a spot at the curb, Audrey now sleeping soundly after the being lulled into a peaceful slumber by the movement of the car. 

She unbuckled her seatbelt, and gathered her purse, reaching for her keys. Leaning over she kissed Audrey's forehead and lightly stroked the baby's cheek. 

"See you in the morning," she told Josh. 

"Wait."

She looked back at him, surprised by the hint of anxiety in his voice. 

"There's something I want to talk to you about." 

"Okay..." rarely did Josh beat around the bush, so she was becoming a little worried. 

He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Today I-" he stopped mid thought, looking away. He didn't want to get into it with Donna about the card. "I've just been thinking. What if something happened?"

"What are you talking about, Josh?" Donna was focused on what he was saying, leaning against the back of the front seat as she perched near Audrey's carrier, one hand protectively on her tiny foot. 

"If something happens to me, what would happen to Audrey. Or if something happened to my Mom while I was out of town or god forbid they just couldn't reach us..."

"Nothing is going to happen to you or your mother," she reassured him, well aware that his mind had the tendency to kick into overdrive and run away with worst case scenarios in his head. 

"But if it did," he interrupted her. "I- I'd want you to raise Audrey." He watched her face for a reaction. "Would you? You can think about it as long as you'd like, I know it's an incredibly huge thing to ask of you," he told her. 

"Oh Josh, of course I would." Donna immediately became emotional. "I'd do anything for her," she looked back at the baby, still dreaming happily. "Are you sure, though? Sure you want me?"

"Donna, I'm positive. You're so good with her. I trust you implicitly and you love her. Not to mention she adores you. There's nothing that makes you a better choice than that."

Donna wiped her eyes, trying not to get overly emotional but she couldn't help it. She leaned up through the seats and gave Josh a makeshift hug. "Thank you for letting me be part of her life," she whispered in his ear, leaning back to tuck Audrey's blanket in around her. "And thank you, little one, for being so sweet."

XxxxxxxxxxX

Yay! Another chapter! Hope you're enjoying this one because I'm having a lot of fun writing it! Just a little fluffy to accompany cannon ((for now)). 

Let me know what you think!!


	5. Chapter 5

"...and he was a beautiful butterfly! The End!"Donna closed the book and sat it to the side. 

"How about a snack, little miss?" Donna placed a few Cheerios on Josh's desk, allowing Audrey to nibble at them. She'd pick them up two at a time, one in each fist, placing one in her own mouth with a certain degree of concentration and then hand the other one to Donna, who would eat it with outlandish animation and then laugh, causing Audrey to do it all again. 

Edie has dropped Audrey off on her way to dinner with a friend and they were waiting for Josh to come back from Sam's office. Donna had already packed up the files they needed to work on that evening, ready to head out as soon as he returned. 

Josh and Donna found themselves working late at his place frequently. They'd usually take a short break for dinner and then resume whatever task was at hand after Audrey was asleep. It wasn't conventional, she supposed, but it worked for them. 

Just came bustling through only a moment later, to the delight of his daughter, who squealed in happiness at the sight of him. Josh picked her up from where she was perched calmly on Donna's lap, tossing her into the air a few times and pretending to eat her chubby little cheeks. Audrey laughed and laughed, completely enthralled by her Daddy. 

Donna sat back in Josh's chair and watched on in amusement. He had probably given a Senator the verbal ass kicking of a lifetime only a few minutes prior, but as soon as he saw his baby girl he switched gears completely. 

He slung his backpack and Audrey's bag over one shoulder, grabbing his keys and surveying the room for anything he may have forgotten. 

"Wanna order takeout," he asked Donna. "We can pick it up on the way."

"Already did," she told him, grabbing her purse and jacket to follow him out of the building. 

They made their way through the corridors of the West Wing, Donna stopping for a quick moment when she bumped into Carol. 

While she listened halfway to Carol, who was giving her some last minute information on tomorrow mornings schedule, Josh chatted with Sam, who was also on his way home. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mary Marsh in the waiting area, obviously lingering after an appointment. As Sam said goodnight to Josh and Audrey she saw Mary walk over from where she previously stood at the door. She could see that only a few words were exchanged and Josh's voice was raised as he put his free hand protectively over Audrey. 

"Just leave it on my desk, Carol," Donna said as she rushed over to prevent another incident between the two. "Let's go," she told Josh. "Busy schedule this evening. Lots to do." 

Josh turned and left the building but Donna could tell that something had already been said from the looks on their faces. 

Josh was silent the whole way back to his apartment. The car ride was tense even with the babbling coming from the backseat. 

They climbed the stairs and entered the apartment, Donna immediately popping dinner into the oven to stay warm while Josh sat Audrey on a blanket with her toys. 

He was clearly tense as he removed his tie and toed off his shoes before laying down on his side to play with the baby. 

Donna knew when to push him and when to leave him alone with his thoughts and tonight she said nothing, letting him unwind on his own with his daughter. 

She set the table, calling them over as they vaguely discussed the files they had to work on tonight, but she could tell Josh wasn't focused. It was so unlike him. 

Audrey finished her dinner and became antsy so Donna pulled her out of the high chair between them, allowing her to sit on her lap and eat a couple of the peas from Donna's carryout. 

Josh just watched them, not eating much of his dinner. When Audrey was finished he wiped her tiny hands and face off and took her from Donna, wandering back over to the spot they'd previously occupied on the floor. 

"You're stressed, Josh. Why don't you take a hot shower and relax and I'll get this little princess ready for bed," Donna sat down next to Audrey, who was very content with all of the attention she was receiving. Josh didn't directly respond, he just handed Audrey another of the small plastic toys she was putting into and pulling out of a box. 

"You're not going to be able to get anything done if you're wound this tight," she told him. 

He nodded his head absently as Donna stood again, picking the baby up with her. 

"You're a good dad, Josh. I hope you know that. I see the sacrifices you make and how devoted you are to her. You don't have anything to prove to anyone."

Josh leaned in and kissed the top of Audrey's curly head, then moving over and planing a gentle kiss on Donna's forehead, giving her a soft smile before he made his way to his bedroom. 

Donna drew a bath for Audrey, sitting next to the tub as she splashed and played. Eventually Josh joined them, sitting down across from Donna and leaning against the bathroom wall. 

Donna could easily see that his demeanor had changed. Where he had been pensive all evening she could now see that something had clicked inside Josh. He was a man on a mission. She'd know that look in his eyes anywhere. 

"Are you going to tell me what Mary Marsh said to you," she asked him as she pushed a rubber ducky around in the water. 

He cleared his throat. "No, but CJ's on her way over so let's get her dried off." They wrapped Audrey in a little hooded towel and Josh changed her into a pair of footie pajamas. 

"Say goodnight, shortcake," Josh told her and held Audrey close to Donna so she could give her a sloppy baby kiss goodnight. "You can go home, Donna," he added, tucking a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. "Thank you... for everything." He walked over and sat down in the corner, making himself comfortable in the rocking chair in the corner. "We'll talk in the morning."

Donna wasn't used to Josh asking her to leave so she was caught quite off guard. But knowing CJ was on the way over she didn't worry. She cleaned up from their evenings and let herself out, bumping into the press secretary in the hallway. 

"Call me when you leave, no matter what time," Donna requested, and CJ nodded her head as a silent promise that she'd comply. 

OoooooooooO 

When CJ did call Donna on her way home it was fairly late. 

"What'd he say to Mary Marsh," she muttered sleepily. "And how early do I need to go in to fix it?"

CJ laughed lightly. "That's not what it was. I mean, Mary Marsh is the problem, yes, but it's not so much what Josh said to her as what she said to Josh."

"Which was..." Donna sat up in bed, blinking against the dark of her bedroom. 

"Well," CJ didn't want to skirt the question when she was talking to Donna, but she knew Josh didn't want to hurt her either. "She made some comments... about Audrey..."

"...that horrible woman, Id like to give her a piece of my...."

"...and about you." CJ finished. 

"Me?"

"Donna," CJ sighed, "there are people... let's just say they know they can use you as a way to get to Josh. He's protective of you and of Audrey and nothing else really rattles his cage. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She did. "But we're friends, CJ. Of course he's going to defend me."

CJ sighed. That's what Josh had said too. Could those two really be blind to whatever was forming between them? "Josh handled it this time. I really don't think much else will come from this, I just want you to be careful, okay? She's not the only one who's going to try and manipulate how close the two of you are."

"I understand," she told CJ, wishing to drop the subject. "How's he doing."

"He's... okay. Just worried about you, mostly. We discussed every possible angle of this and we agreed that nothing should change in your arrangement as of now. You spend a lot of time at his place and a lot of time with Audrey but it can easily be explained- he's a busy man and has a lot to do and a little girl to raise."

As long as Josh and Audrey weren't going to be put under the microscope she could live with anything else thrown at them. 

OoooooooooO 

The next morning Donna was waiting in Josh's office with breakfast when he arrived. 

He opened his mouth to make a smart remark about her bringing him coffee when she silenced him. 

"I talked to CJ last night, but I think you already know that."

His eyes widened, she had his full attention. 

"I appreciate you wanting to protect me, Josh. I really do. But I need you to understand something. If anyone ever says a negative word about that little girl there isn't anyone or anything that will be able to hold me back from them. They'll wish they were dealing with Bartlet's Bulldog when I'm through with them. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." He was taken aback, but he still beamed with pride. He believed her, too. 

"Good," she continued, a matter of fact time to her voice. "Now, about the other things I said last night- I meant them. And don't let Mary Marsh get into your head. You're an amazing Dad, Josh, and Audrey is a very lucky little girl." She squeezed his bicep lightly to make her point. "Okay, your schedule is on your desk, senior staff is in 5 minutes, and that," she picked up the coffee he was reaching for, quickly intercepting it, "is for CJ."

She turned to walk out. "We can finish what we didn't get through last night after work at your place. I'm taking a full hour for lunch though, I'm meeting your mom and Audrey at 11:30."

Josh just smirked at her, internally very pleased. "Whatever you say, Donnatella."


	6. Chapter 6

"Josh Lyman's office."

Donna answered the phone without checking caller ID, typing away to respond to the emails that had piled up over night. 

"It's me," Josh informed her. 

"Where are you," Donna whisper yelled into her phone. "You two have senior staff in 10 minutes."

"Relax. We're here."

"Oh." Donna relaxed back into her chair. It was National Bring Your Child to Work Day and Donna wouldn't have been surprised if Josh and Audrey were running late. "So why did you call?"

"To warn you."

"About what?"

"I put her in that outfit you bought for her to wear today."

"Headband too?"

"Headband too," he confirmed. "And this ridiculous badge you had made." Even as he teased her Josh grinned about it. 

Donna smiled. She'd had a small White House ID printed with Audrey's photo and the words Audrey Lyman, Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff to clip to her dress. "So what's the problem."

"Donna, she looks adorable," Josh practically gushed. "And we're in a place of business so I encourage you to keep it together when we walk in."

Donna rolled her eyes, able to hear Josh walking into the West Wing in the background. "I think I'll be able to manage," she laughed. At that moment Donna saw Josh round the corner and hung up the phone, squealing a little as soon as she saw Audrey. 

Josh sighed. "What did I just say?"

Donna leaned over and took Audrey from him, kissing her cheeks and taking a closer look at the dress and matching cardigan. She looked like a tiny, and adorable, senator in her navy blue dress and cardigan. Donna gushed over the baby, leaving Josh to lug everything he'd need for the day into his office behind him. 

"I'm here too, you know," he remarked. 

She turned her attention back to him. "Yes. And you should be on your way to Leo's for Senior Staff." She shoved a folder into his arms, straightening tiny American flag bow on the headband in Audrey's curls. "Little Miss and I will be at the First Lady's welcome reception and we will meet you in Margaret's office when your meeting is over." 

Josh kissed Audrey on the cheek and told her to be good as Donna shooed him out the door. She sat Audrey down and took her little hand, walking slowly trough the corridors with the toddler. 

"We're going to go eat breakfast and listen to Dr. Bartlet read a book," Donna told her, rounding the corner towards the South Lawn. They joined the crowd of parents and children from the White House and OEOB staff, Donna grabbing a few things to eat as taking a seat in the corner of the room in case they needed to make a quick exit if Josh needed them. She drank her coffee and ate a few bites of a danish, passing on both the green eggs and the ham that were offered, while Audrey played happily with a toy from her bag. 

After a few bites of berries, Donna saw Audrey watching the older kids playing off to the side. "You want to go over and play, Sweet Pea?"

Audrey shrunk back into Donna a bit, content watching from afar. 

"Alright," she smoothed Audrey's hair, "you don't have to." She'd noticed a little trend developing in Audrey, who was becoming increasingly shy. 

A few people popped by to say hello, including the Cat in the Hat, but before they knew it the program was starting. Dr. Bartlet and Zoey were introduced and spoke very briefly before reading Oh, The Places You'll Go and handing out a copy of the book to each child, the front cover stamped with the day's date and signed by the President and First Lady. 

Donna held back as the crowds thinned out, knowing Zoey and Abbey would want to say a few extra words with Audrey. 

"Ahh," Abbey smiled. "My favorite Lyman." She bent down to Audrey's level to greet her, handing her a book and posing for a photo for the White House photographer. 

"Book!" Audrey proclaimed loud and clear, earning adoring smiles from everyone around. 

"She's just so cute," Zoey gushed. "Does Josh ever need a babysitter?"

"Every single day," Donna quipped. "But that's why they keep me around. Audrey stays with his mom."

Zoey laughed, the four women chatting for a moment before Donna checked her watch, having to head to Leo's to meet Josh after senior staff. 

"If you get busy this afternoon just bring her by," Abbey offered. "We'd be glad to spend a few hours with her."

Donna conveyed her thanks and then strode quickly back to the West Wing, making it to Margaret's office just as Leo's door opened and Josh emerged. 

"Banking bill," he began as a way of a greeting, "it's going to be a mess today." He took Audrey from Donna, kissing her little cheek as they walked into Leo's office. "We need to get Rhodes, Morris, Skinner and Tucker on the phone this morning. And then I need 30 minutes with the speaker before the end of the day."

Donna nodded her head in agreement as they entered the Chief of Staff's office. 

Josh put Audrey down, instructing her to go say hi, and she immediately grinned ran around the corner to Leo. 

"PapaWeeOh!" She was still working on mastery of the concept that Papa Leo was two words. 

The normally gruff exterior of the Chief of Staff immediately softened. Audrey had the ability to bring out the happiness in everyone around her. 

"Well good morning, Smiley," Leo greeted her using the nickname he'd given her as a newborn. "I heard you were going to be hanging around here with us today. Are you going to show your Dad how to keep Congress in line?"

Audrey looked to Donna for an answer, causing them all to chuckle. 

"Good girl," Leo added, just as Margaret poked her head in to announce the arrival of his next meeting. "Have fun today, kiddo," he told her. 

"Josh? I'll see you at 1:00 to go over progress on the banking bill?"

"Yes," he nodded in confirmation. 

"And don't forget to take Audrey by the Oval. Neither of us will ever hear the end of it if she doesn't stop by to see the President."

Audrey gave Leo a hug goodbye and Josh scooped her up as they made their way into the hustle and bustle of the west wing corridors, walking with a baby on his hip and Donna matching him stride for stride while giving him a run down of his next meeting. 

They settled into their respective desks, Audrey playing in Josh's office as Donna set up the calls and meetings Josh would need to take that day. She peeked in to let him know he was all set, handing him a memo and some notes that would assist him and grabbing a few briefing folders he would no longer need. 

"You have three minutes before the tour begins," she told him. "And you're he first stop." 

"Kay," he told her, releasing a puff of air as he spoke. 

"Do you know what you're going to say?" She had been reminding him about this for weeks. He just had to peek out into the bullpen and say hello to the group of children taking the tour and pass it off to Ed and Larry. 

"Yes," he stood and pulled his suit jacket on. "And they're going to love it."

"Oh?" Before Donna could question him further he reached into his backpack and pulled out a bag of candy and scooped Audrey up. 

She stood back and listened to him speak briefly about what happened in his portion of the building, the excitement building within him. She loved to watch him when he was like this. He was so passionate- it was contagious. 

Josh ended his short speech by encouraging the kids to get involved- after all, it would be their world soon. "Student government, research and open dialogue with parents, peers and other members of your community," he told them. "Follow the issues that matter. Write your Congressional representatives! And," he grinned, "have a piece of candy before you go."

Donna beamed with pride. He'd nailed it. She took Audrey from him as he gave her a nod of appreciation and kissed Audrey's cheek goodbye as he hurried off to a meeting in the Roosevelt Room. 

"Okay," Donna corralled the visitors to take them to their next stop. "Up next is communications, so if you'll just step right this way..." she led them into the cramped areas in front of Ginger and Bonnie's desks. "This is Sam Seaborne, and he is going to tell you all about what happens in here."

"Unca Sam!" Audrey greeted him right on cue, causing most of the kids to laugh. 

"Your name is Uncle Sam? And you work here?!" He asked. 

Sam didn't miss a beat. "I am Uncle Sam to Miss Audrey," he confirmed, giving her a little waive, "and yes, I do work here. The combination is quite patriotic," he grinned. "Anyway, we're the communications department..." 

Donna and Audrey stepped away from the speech and wandered around the corner into CJs office, Audrey picking up the pace when she saw the press secretary. 

"Well, good morning Miss Lyman," CJ greeted her with a wide grin. "Don't you look fancy today." 

Audrey stared wide eyed at CJ, saying nothing as she silently moved to hold onto the handle of the second drawer on CJs desk. She wore a particularly calculated look, and CJ recognized it immediately. It was a softer version of the same look that crossed Josh's face after a victory. 

"What are you doing?" CJ bent over and asked Audrey softly, straightening her little sweater in the process. 

Audrey blinked her long lashes a few times at CJ before turning a questioning gaze to Donna. 

CJ glanced between the two, wondering what she wasn't catching. 

"What do you say," Donna asked, walking over to perch on the arm of CJs visitor chair. 

"Pease," Audrey almost begged Donna in her little voice, still not letting go of the drawer handle. 

"Don't ask me, ask CJ." 

"Pease?" Audrey asked CJ, bouncing up and down a bit. 

"Tell her what you want," Donna instructed softly. She was trying to get Josh to stop speaking for Audrey, and this was the perfect way for the little girl to begin to fend for herself. 

"Fish!" Audrey stated excitedly. 

"Ah," CJ smiled, glancing at Donna for the go ahead before rolling her desk chair over a little farther to help Audrey open the drawer and procuring a bag of goldfish crackers. 

CJ grabbed a napkin and shook a few crackers out, Audrey reaching happily for them. 

"Sit down while you're eating, please," Donna softly reminded from where she sat and Audrey withdrew her hand and quickly made her way to Donna's lap, CJ scooting the napkin and the snack across the desk. 

The three sat in a moment of silence before Donna spoke. "Do you think she's getting shy? It just seems like the last few months she's gotten a little more... clingy."

CJ pondered the question for a moment. "I'm not sure. I can't say that I've noticed one way or the other."

"It's just that the books I've read say-"

"Wait." CJ interrupted. "You're reading parenting books?"

"Well, yeah." Donna never thought twice about it. 

"Donna..." CJs voice was a mixture of wonder and concern. 

"CJ, you know us. We're.... It's just..." Donna's thought trailed off as she smoothed Audrey's hair. 

"I know," she assured her friend, truly not needing further explanation. CJ watched the normally fidgeting toddler sit content on Donna's lap. And while she may not understand exactly the dynamic between Josh and Donna she did understand what her friend was saying. The two had something special. Something that, if CJ got right down to it, could hardly be explained. It was a gentle understanding, she supposed. "Anyway. You were reading the books," CJ leaned back in her chair. "And it's a good thing, too. Somebody has to make sure Josh is doing it right."

Donna smiled somewhat sadly. "I was reading the books and it seems like she should be more social than she is. This morning at breakfast she just watched the other kids play but didn't want to join them."

"So, she's shy." CJ didn't see the big deal. 

"Well she is, but I'm worried it's more than that. Im worried she doesn't know how to interact with kids her own age. She's just around senior staff and she spends all day with Edie."

"Have you talked to Josh about this."

Donna sighed softly. "It's a touchy subject. He just doesn't think anything is wrong but I'm still worried. Well, maybe not worried... but I notice. Even when I take her to the library she pretty much just clings to me but I can see her watching the other kids. She'll sit through story time if she's on my lap but she still doesn't really interact."

CJ nodded her head slowly as her friend continued, knowing Donna just wanted someone to talk to about her concerns. "I suggested some of those Gymboree classes. He wasn't too receptive at the time but I can tell he's still thinking it over."

Donna popped a goldfish cracker into her mouth and checked her watch. "Anyway. Shall we get going?" 

"Yes," CJ stood and extended her hand to Audrey. "Ready for your debut?" 

The three slowly made their way to the briefing room and Audrey joined CJ at the podium while Donna found a spot to lean on the side wall. 

"Hey Chris," she greeted one of the White House staff photographers as he stood next to her. 

"Donna! How's it going?" He lifted his camera and began to snap photos, taking several of Audrey and CJ as well as various other reporters children who filled the briefing room. 

"We've seen a lot of you today," Donna commented, noticing that Chris had earlier photographed the two of them at brunch and the first lady's book give away. 

Chris shrugged his shoulders and looked a little guilty. "Special assignment from the Chief of Staff's office."

"Ah." Donna understood and gave a knowing smile. It was really no surprise to her, but Edie must have called Leo to make sure someone took pictures today. 

A quick moment later CJ entered the room with Audrey in tow and stepped to the podium for the mock press briefing. 

"I'm CJ Cregg," she announced, "and this is my helper today, Audrey Lyman." 

Audrey peered out across the room full of people, taking it all in. Her eyes became wide and she stared somewhat helplessly at Donna. 

Donna gave her a little waive and a smile, hoping to calm any anxiety that may have been starting to bubble up inside the little girl. 

CJ explained the daily briefing process and then allowed the kids to ask questions. All of the hands in the room raised and several kids shouted "CJ!" as they were likely instructed to do by their press corps parents, a few camera bulbs flashing in the distance.

That proved to be a little overwhelming for Audrey who's chin began to slightly quiver as she reached out with both arms for Donna who was there in an instant, taking her from CJ who never missed a beat in her program. They pair stood to the side and watched the mock briefing, Audrey completely content not to be the center of attention. 

Twenty minutes later CJ announced that lunch would be served in the mess and the room cleared our, Donna and Audrey trailing behind the crowd. 

"Hey," a winded Josh fell in step beside her, checking his crappy watch. "I was hoping I'd make it back in time for lunch."

"Daddy!" Audrey grinned at the sight of him, her tiny dimples popping out to mirror Josh's own. 

Josh grabbed a few slices of pizza for the three of them and slid into the chair next to Donna, who handed Audrey over to him and popped up to grab two salads. Josh had intentionally avoided the 'rabbit food,' as he called it. 

Josh and Donna quickly ran through the rest of the day's schedule, which was rather light due to the number of small guests in the a White House. 

"She'll be ready for a n-a-p around 1," Josh nodded towards Audrey, who was already beginning to fade after an exciting morning. "I can call my mom and have her swing by to pick her up."

"No, Joshua," Donna almost scolded. "Your mother has plans today. Let her have a few hours to herself. It's take your child to work day, so she's staying here."

Josh chuckled. "I understand, but I don't think the organizers of today's festivities intended for me to take my 2 year old to a meeting with the majority leader."

"Well, obviously." Donna rolled her eyes. "She can stay with me while you're in your meeting and then she can spend the rest of the afternoon with us in your office." Donna stated her plan with confidence but lowered her voice to an understanding tone. Some decisions she'd prefer not to make for him. "Unless you really want her to go home..."

Josh looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "God, no, I don't want her to go home," he announced immediately. "If it were up to me neither of the two of you would ever leave my field of vision."

Donna flushed a bit as his comment, looking at her plate, and Josh, realizing what he'd just stated fidgeted a bit before kissing the top of Audrey's head and changing the subject. "How'd you like to spend the whole day with Daddy and Donna, Shortcake?"

"Yeah!" Audrey let out a little cheer and then went back to concentrating on feeding herself the tiny bites of cheese pizza and a few of the peas that Donna had placed in front of her. 

Josh and Donna quickly went over a few things that they needed to accomplish and what Josh would need for the afternoon between exchanging pleasantries with the other White House employees and their families. 

And as Josh cleared their plates and dashed off to the hill Donna wandered back to his office and situated Audrey with a few toys so she could get some work done. It wasn't long before nap time was approaching and Audrey was drifting off in Donna's arms as she tried in vain to type a memo before throwing in the towel. 

She made her way to Toby's office, which she found empty, and situated them on the couch. Before she knew it Donna dozed off, too. 

An hour later Josh wandered through the West Wing, trying to locate Donna and Audrey when he found his office empty. He peered through the window in Toby's office and smiled, quietly letting himself in. The girls were curled up on the couch with a blanket tucked over them as Toby worked quietly on his computer. 

"How long have they been sleeping?" Josh adjusted the blanket gently, pulling it up from where it had slipped off of Audrey's shoulders as she'd moved closer to Donna and drooled a little on her dress shirt, which amused Josh greatly. 

"I found them on the couch about twenty minutes ago," Toby stated quietly, and covered them up.

"Thank you," Josh extended his appreciation for letting them sleep and sat down in Toby's spare chair.

Toby nodded once in acknowledgment. "No need," he stated flatly. "We take care of family around here."

"So while I've got you, how do you want to handle this afternoon's briefing on the article regarding-"

Toby handed Josh a sheet of paper, his preferred response to the anticipated questions outline. "Take a cue from the kid," Toby nodded to Audrey. "And work quietly."

"Hmmph," Josh grumbled, watching Audrey out of the corner of his eye and knowing she was awake but pretending to sleep. "And I was going to invite you to the ice cream sundae bar," he emphasized the words ice cream. 

Audrey gasp a little at the concept of a treat, sitting up and placing her hand on Donna's face to wake her. "Donna," she whispered excited. "DonnaDonnaDonna..."

"I'm up," Donna removed Audrey's hand from her face and sat up, smoothing her own hair and clothing and then reaching over to do the same to Audrey. 

"Where are your shoes, Audrey Joan," Josh laughed. 

Audrey looked to Donna, who reached over and grabbed them, placing them on her little feet and struggling to tame her curls and get her headband back on as Audrey wiggled around. 

"Why are you so excited?" Donna couldn't figure out why the little girl was bursting to get out the door. 

"Ice cream," Josh and Toby responded in unison, both standing. 

"You coming?" Josh asked Donna. "The President will be down there and he wanted to see her."

"I'll pass on this one. I have to get a few things done."

"I'll bring you a bowl," Josh responded, knowing she wanted hot fudge and two cherries. "Toby and I will finish our meeting in my office. 

Donna nodded her appreciation and walked to her desk to get back to work. She hadn't accomplished much of anything that morning and had loads to do. She barely noticed when Toby and Josh returns, thanking him quickly for the snack and returning to her typing as Toby, Audrey and Josh holed up inside the office. 

"Donna!" Josh bellowed from his desk an hour later. 

"DONNA!" Audrey immediately screamed at the top of her lungs from where she was perched on his lap, mimicking her father and then letting out a string of giggles before repeating, "DONNA! DONNA!"

Donna appeared in the doorway, hands on her hips and an unamused look on her face. She couldn't help but to immediately zone in on Josh's completely amused and somewhat proud expression. 

"Uh-oh," Audrey blurted out as soon as she saw Donna. 

Toby was trying his hardest not to laugh. 

"Joshua. What have I told you about the bellowing?"

"Sorry," he grumbled. 

"And Audrey," she turned her gaze, which softened considerably. "You know better than that. Inside voice," Donna rounded his desk and picked her up from Josh's knee. 

"Sorry," Audrey almost whispered. 

"Okay. Now let's go find the file that Daddy needs."

Audrey swing her feet a bit as Donna toted her off to the bullpen. 

"Hold on to this," she handed her a small folder. "Be very careful. You're our special helper today so you're going to help by giving this to Daddy." 

They walked back to Josh's office, passing Toby on the way. "Night Toby," Donna told him in passing. "Goodnight, ladies."

"Bye Bye Unca Toby!" Audrey called out, still proudly clutching the folder that Josh needed. 

Donna and Audrey delivered the requested materials to Josh who thanked them and sat back in his chair with a groan. "Well, ladies," he began, "I'm exhausted and nowhere near finished so what do you two say to grabbing some dinner and finishing this at home?"

"Sounds good to me," Donna smiled. 

"French fries?" Audrey asked hopefully, perking up a little bit more. She was certainly her father's child. 

"You can have a bite of Daddy's," Donna answered, receiving a few little claps of excitement from Audrey and a grumble from Josh, who muttered something about not having anything to eat by the time the two of them were done picking over his meal. 

"Go get Walter," Donna instructed referring to the floppy eared Bunny Audrey toted everywhere. "I'll pack up and call in our order and we can go in 10 minutes."

"Nah," Josh stood and began to gather his own things. "Let's go somewhere nice."

"Oh." Donna was taken aback a bit. They had a routine involving take out and working from Josh's apartment down to a science.

"It's a special day," Josh told her with a shrug. "And it's a working dinner, really."

"Alright," Donna gave him a bright smile, making it all worth it in Josh's mind. 

And when they were seated in a corner booth, full from a delicious meal of fresh pasta and a charred steak, neither of them were jumping at the opportunity to get back to work. Audrey was fading fast, struggling to keep her eyes open as she slowly nibbled on her fries. They both saw it and Josh motioned for the check, paying the bill as Donna wiped off Audrey's face and hands, the three of them making their way back to his brownstone.

Audrey nodded off in the car and Josh gently unbuckled her seat and carried her down the sidewalk. 

"I received quite the interesting phone call this afternoon," Donna told him as they slowly made their way up the stairs. 

"Oh?" Josh didn't look at her, knowing what she was about to say. She was right and he knew it. He'd admit it... eventually. 

"Mhmmm..." Donna continued. "Activity classes for toddlers? Music & Art and one called Gym & Movement. Ringing any bells?"

"Perhaps," Josh grumbled. He'd been watching Audrey closely since Donna had mentioned her lack of socialization and he had to admit she was right- Audrey was very shy. 

"Well I think that's great," Donna reassured him. "You're scheduled to do a walk through of the facility next Tuesday at 1:45 and then you can sign her up for a trial at that time if you're pleased with what you see."

"Thank you," he told her as she fished his keys out of her purse. "Wait... me? You're not coming with me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm coming with you. And you're buying me a fancy coffee on the way."

He grinned. "Deal."

Audrey shifted a bit in his arms, her eyes blinking heavily a few times, getting her bearings once again. 

"I'm going to lay her down," Josh stated softly. 

"I'll get everything you need to review the banking bill set up," Donna told him, taking his backpack off his shoulder. 

"Goodnight, Sweet Pea," she kissed Audrey's head and smoothed her wild curls. 

Audrey opened her eyes just a crack. "Lubb eww," she muttered sleepily but the I Love You came ringing through loud and clear to Donna, who's heart melted. 

"Love you, too, little one. So much."

Josh grinned broadly at the exchange, his dimples popping out a bit. It would occur to him, later that night as he lay alone in bed, that nothing had made him happier in years.


	7. Chapter 7

Josh saw a flash of a blonde hair zoom by his office door. He lifted his head from the memo he was previously absorbed in to try and see what was happening. 

"Donna?"

She appeared in his doorway, balancing against the frame as she slipped on a pair of black stilettos. Her hair was falling down around her shoulders, loose from the professional way she'd had it pinned up all morning and she'd removed the blazer she'd worn over her dress to reveal... well, considerably more than she could show at work. 

"You bellowed," she asked, stepping into his office to apply some shiny lip gloss in using the reflection of herself in his framed law school diploma. 

Josh raised his eyebrows when he realized what she was doing. 

"That's my law school diploma," he stated. "From Yale. Where I studied for three years. It's a good school, Donna."

She stilled her motions and turned slowly to face him. "Well now someone's finally getting some use out of it," she quipped, returning to focus her concentration on her lip gloss. 

"Everybody's a comedian," he mumbled. "Why are you so dressed up tonight anyway, Gilda?"

"I," she softly smacked her lips together. "Have a date."

"A date?!" His voice increased in pitch several octaves. 

She turned to look at him again, leaning her hip on her desk. "You know... two people, meeting for drinks and dinner and, lord willing, other things."

He gulped, taking in the vision of her in a little black dress. He forced himself to look away. She was his assistant. It wouldn't be appropriate. His young, beautiful assistant... and so much more, his brain screamed. But he silenced that part of his mind. 

"You can't!" 

She raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. 

"I mean..." he recoiled, trying to think of a reason for her to stay. Wasn't he supposed to be able to think on his feet? "I'm not done with the... bill."

She narrowed her gaze. "What bill?" 

"The...." he looked around his office. "The..." Come ON, Lyman, he prodded himself. "The... uh... electric pencil sharpener subsidy." What?!

She blinked twice, an unamused expression on her face. 

"It's for the kids, Donna," he mentally kicked himself. He swore he was even starting to sweat under her scrutiny. "Education reform?" It came out as a question. 

She rolled her eyes at him, gathering a few file folders and placing them neatly into his backpack. "Im not staying late tonight and neither are you. You need to leave now to pick up Audrey. There's construction on Virginia Ave so give yourself a few extra minutes to get to her art class."

Damn, he thought. He couldn't even invent a reason to make her stay at work. "What's the class theme tonight?" 

"Macaroni art," Donna supplied, having memorized the schedule. "So take your tie off before you go or you'll end up glued to something."

"You're sure you don't want to join us?" He made a habit of leaving Audrey out of it but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

"Tempting," she smiled, grabbing her things and walking with him to exit the building. "But I think I'll pass just this once."

"Suit yourself," he smirked, parting ways with her and hating himself for letting her walk away. 

OoOoOoOoO

Josh shuffled over to his front door, recognizing the familiar rhythm of the knock but not expecting any company. He was clad in sweats watching the end of the Mets game with Audrey who was already in her little pink polka dot jammies and bunny slippers. 

"Hi," Donna appeared to be a little nervous. 

"Hi," he looked her up and down, quickly assuring himself that she was alright. "I thought you had a date?" He'd tried his best to sabotage it but Donna had gone anyway. Dinner with someone Josh had immediately deemed a waste of her time, though he wasn't going to allow himself to acknowledge just exactly why her date bothered him to begin with. 

Donna just shrugged her shoulders. "I did. It's finished."

"Didn't go well?"

"Would I be standing outside your door at 8:25 if it did?"

Josh let out a little laugh. "No, I don't suppose you would be."

"So are you going to let me in?"

He stood aside as she breezed through and hung her sweater up, removed her heels and made herself at home while Josh locked up behind her. 

Audrey hopped down from where she was curled up on the couch and hurried over to Donna, who immediately picked her up. "Hi, Sweet Pea," Donna kissed the top of her head. 

"Hi Donna." She threw her arms around Donna's neck and rest her head on her shoulder with a small smile. 

"So what's in the bag?" Josh peered into the white sack. 

"Dinner," Donna announced, picking it up and carrying it, and Audrey, into the kitchen. 

Josh looked a little confused. 

"He ordered for me," Donna began. "Insisted that I have the steak. Wouldn't take no for an answer." 

That phrase made Josh a little queasy and more than a little grateful that Donna was safe and sound in his apartment. If this guy wouldn't let her say no to a steak who knows what else he wouldn't have taken no as an answer to. He shook his head, pulling himself from the dark direction in which his mind wandered, and listened to what she was saying. 

"Anyway, so he ordered me the steak and I asked them to burn the life out of it. And then I didn't eat it." She popped the container into the microwave for a minute and looked back to Josh. "And since I'm assuming you scarfed down a bowl of Cheerios over the sink after you fed her, I figured you could use a real dinner." The microwave dinged and she pulled the container out and handed it to him. 

"Thanks," Josh muttered. This woman never ceased to amaze him. She could anticipate his every need, he swore. "But what are you eating?"

"I had a salad at the restaurant."

"A side salad?" He eyed her skeptically as she moved through his kitchen as though she lived there. "Donna, you have to eat more than a side salad for dinner. You have to-"

She stopped in her tracks and turned to shoot him a glare, Audrey still on her hip. "Really? Now YOU'RE going to tell me what I have to eat? Do you really think that's a good idea right now, Joshua?"

"No," he gulped. 

"Save your parenting for Audrey, I can take care of myself," she snapped a little more than she meant to. 

"Okay," he held his hands up in surrender, looking a little sheepish. If only he knew how far from parental his thoughts about here really were. Picking up his plate and the utensils she'd handed him and heading back to the couch as the game came back from commercial. 

Donna went back to what she was doing and spoke a little softer, turning her attention to Audrey. "You and I are going to have a little treat, too." Donna grabbed the smaller second box from the bag. "Restaurant dessert, Audrey Lyman, is a necessity in every girl's life."

Audrey, bright eyed and completely enthralled, hung on to every word Donna said, as she always did. 

Donna put Audrey down and grabbed a spoon and a napkin. "Go sit on the couch by Daddy," she instructed her. "I'm right behind you."

Donna wandered out of the kitchen, slowing as she walked by Josh. 

"I didn't mean to snap at you," she admitted softly from behind him, her hand gently grazing his shoulders and dragging lightly across the back of his neck as she walked by in a tactile apology. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay," he muttered, unable to take his eyes off of her. He swore his whole body was tingling at the sensation from her touch. He shook his head a little bit, clearing his throat and focusing on the baseball game. 

Donna sat down at the opposite end of the couch and gave Audrey a bite of the cheesecake. "Never let a man order for you. Or order you around," she told her. "If he won't let you choose your own meal he's not going to let you be your own woman in any other capacity either." Audrey stared at Donna, not understanding her dating advice but smiling every time Donna gave her a bite. "Keep your standards high, Audrey," she gave her another bite of cheesecake. "And don't settle."

"Okay," Audrey agreed, squirming around to settle into a more comfortable position on Donna's lap, considerably more interested in dessert than figuring out what Donna was saying to her. 

Josh listened carefully, not interrupting, completely unsure of what to say. He hoped Donna knew that advice applied to her as well. 

"Thanks for dinner," he told Donna. "Time for bed, kiddo."

Donna stood up and walked Audrey down the hall to her room, Josh trailing behind. 

"Pick out your story," he told Audrey. "Just one tonight since we had dessert with Donna."

Audrey immediately grabbed her favorite book as Donna pulled the blankets back and she crawled into bed with her little stuffed bunny. Donna lay down on top of the covers, curling her legs up to fit on the small toddler bed as Audrey snuggled in closer to her and Josh sat down against the headboard with the book. Audrey clutched her bunny and shifted her attention to her father, who began to read through then book that he practically had memorized, using different silly voices for each barnyard animal character. 

They were only a few pages in when Audrey's eyes fluttered closed and before they knew it she was asleep. 

"Goodnight, Sweet Pea," Donna kissed her forehead and gently rolled off of the bed. 

"Sweet dreams," Josh added, repeating the same process and pulling covers up around her before double checking the nightlight and quietly leaving the room. 

They both walked softly back to his living room before speaking again. 

"We need to go over the most recent education report," Donna stated, getting down to business. 

"Kay," he agreed, grabbing a beer for them to split and flopping down on the couch. "Let's get to work."

If all of her dates ended like this, Josh thought, maybe that would be alright with him.


	8. Chapter 8

Donna opened the gate to the pool area at Edie Lyman's condo complex and was immediately greeted by an unmistakable little voice cheering her name. "Donna! Hi, Donna!"

She gave Audrey a little wave. "Hi, Sweet Pea." She was pleasantly surprised to see that they had the entire pool area to themselves that afternoon. 

Josh swam around for a minute, Donna trying not to stare at him. She sometimes let herself indulge in taking a glimpse at his muscular, bare forearms when he rolled up his sleeves in the office late in the evening or changed into a tshirt after they'd worked halfway through the night at his kitchen table. But she was certain that she'd never seen him like this. 

He easily bobbed in the water and she tried not to make her stare obvious. She knew Josh was in shape but she'd never seen him shirtless. He was lean and chiseled and something else... ah, yes. Relaxed. 

"Hey there," he greeted her with a full dimpled grin from behind his designer sunglasses. He ran his hand through his wet curls and swam over to the edge. "Thanks for coming over."

She gave him a genuine smile. There was, in her mind, no reason to thank her. He'd extended the invitation the previous evening just after they'd put Audrey to bed after another round of restaurant dessert and life advice after Donna's failed date. 

She sat her bag down on a sun lounger, sliding out of her sandals and pulling out her own sunglasses before removing the t shirt dress she'd worn as a cover up. Grabbing a towel from her bag, she walked over to the edge of the pool. 

"Water's fine," he smirked, unable to come up with anything intelligent to say as he tried his hardest not to let his jaw drop at the sight of her body in the small black bikini. 

She tilted her head and gave him an odd look. "Yes," she stated slowly. "I'd imagine it would be in August."

Donna sat down on her folded towel and dipped her feet in the pool, leaning back a bit to feel the sun on her whole body. 

Josh kicked over and pulled himself halfway out of the water resting on the edge of the pool. "You're not getting in?"

She shrugged her shoulders a bit. "Maybe later. "This is nice for now." 

She heard the pitter patter of little feet behind her, Audrey grinning from ear to ear in her Minnie Mouse swimsuit and water wings as she approached Donna. 

"Donna, watch!"

"Are you going to jump in?" Josh stood right in front of her. 

"Yes," Audrey stated, squirming a bit as Donna reached out and fixed her barrette. 

"Alright, kiddo. Lets show Donna how it's done. One... Two..."

"Three!" Audrey yelled and jumped, Josh grabbing her practically before she hit the water. 

Donna clapped animatedly and Audrey grinned with pride, shouting again as Josh popped her out of the water and they repeated the process time after time. 

"Okay," Josh hoisted her out of the water for what felt like the hundredth time, "go get a drink of juice from Bubbe. Daddy's getting tired," he instructed her and Audrey ran over to Edie who was reading a book in the shade.

"Don't run," Donna called over her shoulder without even looking. 

Josh kicked over to where she sat. "You ready to get in yet?"

"Eh," she shifted her weight. "I don't know."

"Come on, you know you want to."

"It's pretty nice right here," she admitted. 

He gave her a playful splash, barely getting her wet. She responded by giving a gentle kick of water in his direction. Josh then gave a larger splash and she returned in kind, letting out a cross between a shriek and a giggle as the cool water hit her. 

Edie looked on from where she sat with Audrey and smiled. She loved everything that this woman was to her family. 

Josh stopped his movements abruptly causing Donna to do the same. 

"What?" Donna asked confused. He was staring at her. 

"Donna, there's something-" he reached slowly for arm, taking her by surprise and pulling her quickly into the pool. She let out a scream of surprise as she flew towards the water but Josh caught her, not allowing her head to go under. She'd reflexively grabbed for him in the process. "Well you're in now," he told her. 

Donna caught his gaze and only then did Josh realize her arms were draped loosely around his neck and her legs had wrapped around his waist. His hands steadied her almost bare hips, their bodies pressed tightly together in the water. She licked her lips subconsciously, their faces close together and Josh almost couldn't resist. But this was Donna. Beautiful, smart, caring, Donna. She was his assistant and his friend. And he wasn't going to throw all of that away over what he was sure was a one sided attraction. 

He was pulled back to reality by the sound of tiny giggles coming from the pool deck as Audrey found herself highly amused by his antics. 

He couldn't help but to notice, however that Donna didn't move immediately away from him. Their bodies were still touching when she shifted a bit in the water, her hands running down his chiseled chest and lingering a bit as her legs slowly uncoiled, her silky skin grazing directly against his in the process. Josh had to stifle a groan and tell mentally himself to pull it together. 

When she moved away from him the loss of contact with her body immediately made him feel empty. He took a moment to pull himself out of his haze and went back to normal a few moments later, convincing himself that nothing had happened. 

Audrey returned back to the steps of the pool and Donna picked her up, holding her and dancing around in the water, both of them smiling and happy. Josh swore he saw her catching sideways glimpses of him the rest of the day but by the time they were ready to get out and dry off he'd convinced himself that he was truly imagining it. 

Donna toweled off Audrey and packed a few remaining items away in her beach bag. Edie had returned to the condo to thaw something for dinner. 

Josh ran a towel coarsely through his hair, distanced once again by Donna's bikini. 

"Josh."

"Huh?" He was confused, his mind wandering to places it shouldn't. 

"I can't find her shoes."

Josh glanced around the pool deck. "Oh. Uhhh... Bubbe must have grabbed them."

Donna opened her mouth to voice concern but Josh cut her off. 

"Up you go," he told Audrey, tossing her up to sit on his shoulders and holding onto her bare feet. The toddler grinned in satisfaction and gave her Dad's hair an accidental little tug. "Easy, shortcake," he pulled gently on her foot. "Ready, Donnatella?" He gave her a thousand watt smile and placed one tenderly hand on the small of her back, his thumb caressing her skin softly. He couldn't help himself. She gave him a small smile in return, eyes bright with curiosity. The moment was over as quickly as it began and the three made their way inside for dinner. 

After quickly rinsing off the chlorine and changing into dry clothes Donna popped into the kitchen to give Edie a hand while Josh helped to fix a few things around Edie's condo and threw the chicken on the grill. 

Audrey wandered into the kitchen, with her stuffed bunny in tow, and made her way over to stand by Donna, who popped her up on the kitchen counter. Donna continued to chat with Edie, handing Audrey tiny bites of the avocado and cherry tomato she was chopping for the salad. 

"Chicken is ready," Josh announced, walking over to lean against the counter holding the barbecue tongs. "I put it on the table."

Donna placed the completed salad to the side and turned on the faucet, washing her hands and then Audrey's. 

"You have dinner plans on Tuesday?" Josh furrowed his brow as he looked at his mother's calendar on the fridge. 

"Yes, it's Bridget's birthday. You know Bridget. From my book club."

"Kay." Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. "The President is speaking that night and I have to be there."

"Oh. Well Audrey can go with me I suppose..."

"I'll take her," Donna piped up. "She has art class that night anyway. I think they're making little musical instruments."

"Really?" Donna did a lot for Josh but he didn't want to make her feel obligated to take Audrey that evening. 

"Yes, really," Donna rolled her eyes at Josh and dried Audrey's hands with a towel, sitting her down from the counter. "Since I don't get to go with you anyway," she gave him a teasing smile. She'd been trying to find a way to go to the event for weeks but there wasn't any extra room in the motorcade. 

"It's one insignificant night, Donna. How many times have you heard the President speak?"

"You'll be lost without me," Donna quipped. 

Josh gave her a grin and carried the salad to the table, Donna toting Audrey along to place her in her chair. "Somehow, Donnatella, I'll survive. Promise."

After all, it wasn't a cross country excursion. They were simply crossing the bridge to Rosslyn.


	9. Chapter 9

"Donna? Is everything alright?" Edith Lyman had to admit- seeing Donna Moss show up at this time of night unannounced made her a little nervous. Especially after receiving a call from Leo two weeks ago that shook her entire world. 

"Everything's fine," Donna assured her quickly. "Josh is fine."

Edie let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "I'm sorry. Come in," she opened the door and stepped out of Donna's way. "I thought you would be with Joshua."

Donna walked in and sat a small duffel bag down in the entryway. "I was. But he practically shooed me out of his room," Donna chuckled a bit. "He said I needed some rest. I would have fought him but he double teamed me with Abbey Bartlet and I think I was about 2 minutes away from secret service intervention."

Edith laughed. She was sure that it took a lot of convincing to get Donna to leave. 

"So Sam agreed to stay the night with Josh," Donna continued. "And I thought you could use some rest too. So I came over to stay with Audrey."

Edith pulled her into a hug. "You're so good to us, Donna. What would we do without you?"

Donna embraced her as well. The last two weeks, since that fated night at Rosslyn, had been an emotional rollercoaster. She loved these people. They were her family now. "Let me make you a cup of tea before you go," Donna offered. She knew she needed to talk to Edie. 

Edith didn't refuse, working with Donna in the kitchen as they quietly poured hot water into their mugs and grabbed the tea bags that Donna kept in Josh's cupboard and slid into chairs in his dining room. 

"How are you doing, Edith?" Donna reached out and took the older woman's hand. Her concern was genuine. 

"Oh, just fine dear." It was a standard response and Donna knew it. Edith's eyes were still puffy from tears and she'd never seen the older woman look so exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes and her shaking hands told a different tale. 

"Edie..." Donna gave her a look. "I think we're past that. 

Edie sighed. "It's been hard, Donna. Not that I need to tell you that." Edie wiped her eyes. 

Donna gave her hand a squeeze and nodded solemnly. 

"I just don't know what I would have done if-" Edith couldn't even finish the sentence. But Donna knew what she meant. Her stomach churned at the very thought. "I'm just so tired, Donna. And the thought of coming that close to losing him- After Joanie and Noah I just don't think I could go on if-"

"Edith? We're friends. You can be honest with me- do you need a little break?" Donna didn't want to overstep but she knew someone had to take control of this situation. They were far from back to normal. 

"I'm just so tired, Donna."

"Josh mentioned a few weeks ago that you were thinking about looking for a place in Florida?"

"Well, I was. But I just don't know now. I mean, I wasn't sure about moving away from Josh and Audrey to begin with but now I really don't think I should leave."

"Edith, you need to take care of yourself. These were supposed to be your retirement years. You deserve some relaxation. You need to take the time and do these things. I love Audrey too, and I understand why you're doing what you are. But we can't have you burning yourself out either. What if something happened? I don't even want to think about what that would do to Audrey and Josh. And me," she admitted, hoping Edith knew that Donna truly loved her like a mother. 

Edie nodded slowly. She couldn't argue with Donna's logic. 

"Edith, whatever you need- if you need to take some time. A few days or however long you need- just to kind of reset and get some good sleep or take a vacation..."

"But what about-"

"Edith." Donna met her gaze. "I'm not going to let anything happen to them."

Edie smiled. "I know. You're right."

"I have some vacation days saved up and Leo has been more than accommodating with my schedule. I can easily stay here and make sure they're both taken care of when he gets home. We can come up with a schedule or whatever you're the most comfortable with."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course." Donna didn't hesitate. 

"Well... yes. Okay. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do just need a little bit of time."

"We'll work out the logistics and talk to Josh tomorrow. Just get some sleep tonight." Donna gave her a hug goodbye and locked up, placing their mugs in the dishwasher and wandering down the hall, peeking in to check on a still sleeping Audrey as she passed her open door. 

Exhausted and in need of a hot shower, Donna let herself into Josh's master bathroom and stood under the running water. She'd held herself together for the most part over the last few weeks but now she was alone and the tears began to fall. She allowed herself a few moments of emotional purge before pulling herself back together and stepping out of the shower. She dried off, changing into a pair of comfortable pajamas and making one last pass through his apartment before she turned in for the night. 

She stood in the kitchen, rooting around in the pantry for a late night snack of some sort. Her meals were all off schedule that week. 

"Daddy?" 

Donna stilled her motions at the sound of the soft voice and peeked her head around the corner. 

As soon as Audrey saw Donna her face lit up. "Daddy?" She asked again. Because in her world, where there was 'Donna' there was usually Daddy, too. 

"No, Sweet Pea. It's just me," Donna walked over to Audrey who stood planted where she was in the hallway, clutching her bunny, Walter, and whimpering softly. It killed Donna to see how much Audrey missed Josh. 

Donna scooped her up and held her tight as Audrey cried. She kissed her forehead and reassured her that everything was okay as she swayed her back and forth in the dimly lit room. Audrey held on to Donna for dear life, eventually dozing off. 

Donna, who didn't care what the optics were, crawled into Josh's unmade bed. He'd likely left it that way in a hurry to get out the door for work two weeks ago. She could still smell a hint of his aftershave on his pillow. She pulled Audrey close and listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing and eventually drifted off to sleep herself. 

OoOoOoOoO

It had been a rough morning. Audrey wasn't listening to a word that Donna said, but Donna couldn't be too hard on the the little girl. Her world had been turned upside down in the last few weeks, too. 

"Audrey?" Donna sat down on the edge of the couch but Audrey didn't look up as she stood at the coffee table and continued to color, PBS playing in the background. 

"Audrey," she began again, "I want to talk to you about Daddy."

Audrey immediately stopped coloring and looked up to Donna, wide eyed and listening intently. 

"Did Bubbe tell you that Daddy... umm, doesn't feel good?"

Audrey, completely captivated with the conversation, nodded her head in an animated yes. "He has a owie," she told Donna softly. "On his heart," she pointed to her own chest. 

"That's right, Sweet Pea," Donna tried to remain emotionally stable. She didn't want to scare her. "But I know he misses you. And you miss him too, don't you."

"Uh-huh," Audrey nodded again. 

"Okay. Well, I'm sure he'd like to see you. So why don't we get dressed and go visit him."

Audrey popped up quickly, leaving her coloring where it was and thinking the news was too good to be true. 

"Come on, let's get you out of your jammies and take a bath."

Audrey instead ran to the front door. "Now."

"As soon as you're ready we can go."

Donna picked her up and toted her down the hall, dressing her in a little sundress with strawberries on it that Josh loved and fixing her hair with a bow.

She loaded her into the back seat of Josh's car and made the quick trip to GW, walking Audrey to the elevator and pausing upon arrival on Josh's floor. Donna crouched down to Audrey's eye level and took a soft tone one again. "Okay. We're going to see Daddy now but do you remember what we talked about? About Daddy's heart?"

Audrey, wide eyed and uncertain of her surroundings, gawked at a group of passing nurses. 

"Audrey, look at me please." Donna stroked her little cheek, drawing her attention back in. "We need to be careful around Daddy, okay? No jumping or climbing on him. Okay?"

"Okay." Her voice was soft and reserved. Her dad has always wanted to play and crawl around with her. What had changed. 

Donna picked her up, preventing any running or over excitement, and peeked in to Josh's room. They'd timed it perfectly. He had just finished with his therapist and had a little break before anyone would be in to prod and him again. 

"Knock Knock," she announced them.

Josh glanced up, a smile on his face the second he heard her voice. It broke in to a full dimpled grin when he saw Audrey in her arms. 

"Surprise! You have a visitor," she announced. 

"Daddy!" Audrey practically lunged out of Donna's arms to reach Josh. 

"Hi, baby girl!" Josh was clearly elated as Donna sat Audrey carefully on the non injury side of his hospital bed. 

Audrey threw her arms around his neck and though Josh cringed he looked happier than Donna had seen him since their day together at the pool. 

Josh pulled his daughter close with his uninsured arm and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," he told Donna softly, meeting her gaze. And when he did, Donna saw the building emotion in his eyes, causing her to shed a few tears herself as she reached out to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

"Of course," she whispered softly. 

Josh swallowed hard, unashamed to have Donna witness the tender reunion, and closed his eyes, holding on to Audrey as long as she'd let him. 

Eventually she squirmed around in Josh's grasp and sat up on his bed but it was clear that he wanted her to remain close by. 

Josh asked Audrey about her morning, searching desperately for a since of normalcy. "Have you been good for Bubbe and Donna?" He reflexively smoothed her little curls. 

"Uh huh," Audrey nodded eagerly. "I ate a 'nana for breakfast." She then proceeded to explain, in excruciating detail, the episode of Sesame Street she'd watched while Donna did a load of laundry. 

Josh, who determined he would need another dose of morphine to get through the rest of the details of Big Bird's most recent adventure, gave Donna a pleasdng look. 

"Why don't we show Daddy what you made for him during art hour last week." 

Audrey's attention did a 180 as Donna pulled out a finger painting and Audrey proudly showed it off. "Great job, Shortcake," Josh told her. "Is this for me?"

Audrey told him that it was and Donna grabbed a piece of tape from the nurses station to hang it up by his bed. 

After an hour of Josh and Audrey spending some quiet time together reading books and lounging around together, Donna glanced at her watch and announced that it was time to go. Both Josh and Audrey's faces immediately fell. 

Donna reached for Audrey, ready to assure her they'd be back to visit soon. The last hour had done so much good for all three of their souls. 

But as she came closer, Audrey shrinked away from Donna for the first time in her life as large tears formed in her eyes and her chin began to quiver. "NO! DONNA, NO! GO AWAY!"

Donna's eyes immediately filled with tears, her heart breaking. She worried that bringing Audrey here had been a mistake. Josh needed his rest, and it was almost Audrey's nap time, too. In fact, she'd probably fall asleep in the car. She tried to steel herself against the pain, after all this is what parenting was- sometimes you have to enforce the rules even when it breaks your heart. Josh pulled his daughter close and whispered something in her ear that immediately soothed her panic. 

After a moment, Donna reached for Audrey again, but this time it was Josh who protested. "Please? Just a few more minutes." The look of desperation on his face almost broke Donna in half. 

Donna quickly relented. "Okay. One more story." She pulled Audrey's favorite book out of her oversized bag but when Josh reached for it, she simply shook her head.  
"Why don't you close your eyes for a minute? I'll read it."

Josh tightened his arm around his baby, and smoothed her curls with his other hand. 

After a few minutes of listening to Donna's gentle voice, they were both fast asleep, side by side. And Donna Moss knew she'd do anything for either of them.


	10. Chapter 10

They'd only been home from the hospital for a few hours but Josh was fading fast. Donna knew it would be an early night and she was glad she'd had the forethought to have an easy dinner planned. 

Audrey was watching a movie as Josh took quick shower with the intention of crawling directly into bed for some rest. 

Josh slowly dried off with a towel, hating how exhausted he was after a task as simple as quickly rinsing off. Donna sat perched on top of his bathroom vanity, quietly waiting for him. He'd protested but she insisted that she was nearby incase he became dizzy. 

And while he hated to admit that he needed help with such a routine task, as always he was glad she was nearby. He grabbed the clean pair of boxers and sweatpants she'd lay out for him and quickly changed, Donna turning her back to him for some privacy. 

"Kay," he told her when he was finished, tossing his towel into the hamper. 

She popped down from where she was perched and watched him slowly, carefully, walk over to her. "Do you need to sit down?" 

He grumbled a non-response.

"How ya doin?" She cocked her head to the side and watched him, hoping he'd give her a moment of honesty. 

"I'm sore, I'm exhausted and this damn thing itches," he motioned to his chest incision. 

She'd sat all of the needed supplies to cover his healing wound with gauze but she could see he was ready to just take a quick breather. 

"Come on," she took his arm on his uninjured side and walked him to bed, helping him sit down as she returned to retrieve his bandage. 

Donna heard the door to Josh's room, which was previously cracked, squeak on the hinges. 

When she emerged from the bathroom she saw Audrey standing stock still in the doorway staring at Josh's scar. 

"It's okay," he told Audrey softly, extending his hand. 

She took a few cautious steps towards him, Donna watching on silently. 

Once she was standing at Josh's knee she paused and stared at the incision a little bit more before slowly turning to Donna. "Make it better," Audrey told Donna in a timid voice, her eyes wide with concern. 

Donna almost melted at the sentiment. She walked over to join them and sat Audrey next to Josh on the bed. Josh explained to her in the best way he knew how that he was healing and Donna was helping. Audrey watched silently and closely as Donna applied the bandage. 

"All done," Donna tried to keep her voice chipper. 

"See?" Josh turned to show Audrey the bandage before he put his shirt back on. 

She studied it closely and moved to give Josh a gentle kiss on the cheek, mimicking his own actions to his daughter after scraped knees and bumps to the elbow. "All better," she said in her tiny voice. 

Josh beamed at the sentiment. "Yeah," he agreed, kissing her forehead. "It really is."

OoOoOoO

On Monday night, Josh and Audrey both complained about the number of vegetables that had suddenly appeared in their diets. 

On Tuesday, he stayed up late reading her stories and was a cranky with Donna when she woke him up for PT the next morning. 

On Wednesday, he tried give Audrey a bath on his own, resulting in a crying toddler, an exasperated father and a soaked bathroom floor. 

On Thursday, Audrey wanted a piggy back ride and Donna could see that he was actually thinking about it before she snapped him back to reality and put her foot down. 

On Friday, Josh finally saw how worn down Donna was from trying to cook, clean, and care for him and a preschooler- especially when neither he nor the preschooler had shown much appreciation. He realized, though, that he had to do something- which lead him to the conversation he was currently having. 

"4 pounds," Donna warned him. "The doctor said not to lift anything over 4 pounds."

Josh practically rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I was there. I heard him. It was only three days ago, Donna."

"I know you heard him," Donna continued, "but I'm not sure you were really listening."

"Donna. You're going to be down the block for what, twenty minutes? I'm not going to shatter into a million pieces while you're out getting groceries for dinner. Go."

She bit her lip. She had been reluctant to leave his side in the last few days but they really needed a few groceries. "It's just- maybe I should take Audrey."

"She's napping."

"Yes but I could wait for her to wake up and-"

Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. "Donna. You're going to worry yourself sick over nothing, I swear." She'd been running herself ragged taking care of both of them. The least he thought he could do was to keep things in check at home while she had a few minutes outside of the house. It wasn't exactly a spa day but sending her to the grocery store alone was all he could come up with. 

She shifted her weight, clearly not comfortable leaving him. 

"Look," he softened his tone, reaching out to touch her arm. "She will probably still be asleep when you get back and if not, she knows to be careful. You did a great job explaining that she can't jump and climb on me yet. And I promise, Donna, I'll call the second I need anything."

She nodded her head. "Okay," she finally agreed, albeit reluctantly, grabbing her keys and heading out. 

Josh remained where he was on the couch, dozing lightly with the TV on for the better part of twenty minutes, until he heard Audrey wake up, soon followed by the rustling of toys in her room and her footsteps walking down the hall. He was so glad to be home, and he could easily tell she was equally as thrilled. But there was still a voice in the back of Josh's mind telling him that as happy as he was, he needed to think of the big picture. 

He knew that she was as bored, if not more so, as he was cooped up in the house. "Bubbe used to take me swimming," she'd lament. "Bubbe took me to the park, Bubbe took me to story time at the library, Bubbe took me shopping." And lord knows Donna had gone above and beyond. But there was a limit to what one person could do- even Donna. 

Josh stood up, knowing she always wanted a drink as soon as she woke up, and wandered into the kitchen to find a juice box. 

When he came back around the corner Audrey was practically bouncing off the walls with her extra energy. 

"Hey kiddo," Josh began, sticking the small straw into the cardboard box. "You thirsty?"

"Yeah!" Audrey exclaimed, jumping up from where she had crawled onto the couch. "Juice!" She jumped again, losing her balance in the process and tumbling towards the coffee table. 

Josh instinctively reached out and grabbed her, preventing any harm to his baby girl. But the second he grabbed her he felt the pain shoot through him. 

Josh practically doubled over, managing to place Audrey gently on the floor. 

"Daddy?" She watched him closely after he'd stifled a groan. "It's okay," he muttered. "Daddy's okay." 

But Josh didn't move, leaning where he was on the couch. "Audrey, go get my phone." He could see it resting on the table at the opposite end of the couch, just out of reach. 

He was trying to figure out what to do next when he heard her key in the lock and Donna jostling some bags as she came through the door. 

"Donna..." he tried to keep his voice level but he was having to speak through gritted teeth. 

"Hi guys," she announced, closing the door behind her and depositing the bags in his kitchen. "What have you been-" her causal questioning stopped when she turned the corner. "Josh?!" She was instantly by his side. "What happened?" She asked softly, studying him to try and determine what the problem was. 

"I- I just pulled something," he told her as she took his arm and helped him sit down. 

"Audrey, why don't you go pick out a toy to play with in your room," Donna suggested, distracting her for a minute so she could figure out what was wrong with Josh. 

Josh recounted the whole story and Donna carefully pulled his shirt up lightly touching the areas that were causing him pain. 

"Your external stitches aren't broken, I think someone needs to check you out. Come on. Let's go to the hospital."

"No," he flat out refused, shaking his head. 

"Josh you could have ruptured something internally. Or the artery..." she was getting a frantic look on her face. 

"I'm not going back to the hospital," he grumbled with more intensity than he'd intended to use. 

"I can call the First Lady if you'd prefer," she offered. 

Neither of those options struck Josh as particularly appealing but he knew that Donna wouldn't relax until he was checked out. "Fine," he consented, "I'll see a doctor. But don't bother the First Lady."

Donna, after a very convincing phone call, was able to get Josh in at his cardiologist before the doctor went home for the night. 

They were assured that everything was fine- he'd simply pulled a muscle near his incision. 

Josh buttoned his shirt up and Donna grabbed her purse, thankful that Toby was able to pop by and stay with Audrey while she took Josh to the doctor. 

They made their way back to the vehicle, both relieved that nothing more serious had resulted from the incident that afternoon. 

"Toby's staying for dinner," Donna broke the silence. "We can stop by the bakery and pick up a pie if you'd like."

Josh nodded that he would. He didn't know how he was going keep his wits about him cooped up inside his apartment for the next months. And he certainly wasn't going to pass dessert if Donna was offering. 

She parked the car and ran in while he waited, emerging a few moments later with a peach pie and a mini cupcake with pink frosting and sprinkles for Audrey. 

She handed him the bakery box, which he held on his lap. 

"You're right." Josh stared out the passenger side window of the moving car. "It's time."

Donna didn't say a word. She knew what he was thinking- it had clearly been occupying his mind since she'd brought it up, and she could see that he realized that she made a valid point in the doctor's office. But this was something he had to decide on his own. She wasn't going to push him. 

"Only if you're sure," she told him. "We can make it work."

"It will be good for everyone. You can't be at my place 24/7, I can't be alone with her and she needs the interaction with other kids." 

Donna had recommended enrolling Audrey in preschool several times but Josh had always fought her on it. He wanted to find a way for her to stay at home with him. But he was seeing the light after the events of that afternoon. 

"I'm going to assume you've done the research on all of the best preschools and Montessori's," Josh continued. "So we can review them together tonight and pick one."

"Okay," she told him lightly, not wishing to gloat. "We'll try it and see how it goes."

They returned to the apartment and had an enjoyable dinner with Toby, who after 90 minutes alone with Audrey was so exhausted he didn't even return to the office. They put Audrey to bed without incident and as soon as she was out Donna saw Josh yawning. 

They both changed into pajamas and Donna grabbed her trusty notebook and all of her information on preschools, knocking softly on his door. 

"Do you want to wait until tomorrow on this?" Truth be told, she was as tired as he was. 

"No," Josh spoke while yawning. "Let's get started while she's asleep." He pat the spot next to him on the bed and after only a moments hesitation Donna crawled on top of the covers and handed him the information on preschools. Josh smirked a bit when he found a color coded index card paper clipped to each brochure. She was prattling on about her favorite options while he read over the highlights, weighing the pros and cons of each program, school location and times. 

Her sudden silence caused Josh to look over and see that she'd fallen asleep practically mid sentence. He smiled at her sleeping form and cleared the bed of all of her research material, stacking it on the nightstand before pulling his comforter over her and clicking out the light. He smoothed her hair softly and whispered goodnight. He was just glad she was actually getting some sleep- and that maybe she'd given up the pretense of sleeping on his uncomfortable fold out couch. He too was asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

At some point in the night Josh woke up to a soft rustling sound. He was pleasantly surprised to find Donna snuggled in close to him, fitting perfectly into the crook of his arm with her head on his shoulder as she slept peacefully, her legs intertwining with his at some point in the night. 

The noise, he quickly realized, was Audrey, huffing a little bit as she tried, and eventually succeeded, to climb onto Josh's bed with Walter the Bunny tucked under one arm. 

"Shhh," Josh placed his finger to his lips to keep her silent. She was so sleepy it wasn't necessary and Audrey immediately scoot over and curled up next to Donna, who stirred slightly and subconsciously pulled Audrey closer, both of them falling back into a deep slumber.

Josh swore he could lay there forever a happy man. But before he knew it he was asleep too.


	11. Chapter 11

"Thanks again, CJ," Donna told her in somewhat of a rush. "I'll only be a few minutes. If you need anything just call Margaret and-"

"Oh my God, Donna. Not the first time I've been alone with a child. Not even the first time I've been alone with THIS child." CJ gave her friend a strange look, wondering if Donna was going to completely unspool in her office. "Go do your thing," CJ waived her off. "C'mere Audrey! Let's have a snack and catch up. And then we can go find Uncle Toby when he's out of his meeting in a few minutes."

"Bye, Sweet Pea," Donna crouched down to Audrey's level and gave her a kiss on the cheek, immediately rubbing the lip gloss off of the toddlers face. "Have fun with Aunt CJ and listen to what she says. I'll be right back."

Audrey made her way to CJ, who pulled her onto her lap and reached into her side drawer to pull out some gold fish. "So what's new, Miss Lyman?"

"Ummmm..." Audrey thought about it between gold fish. She'd certainly adopted Donna's ability to chitchat and all of the senior staff knew that if you asked this little girl a question, you'd get an answer. "Daddy is home from the doctor now," she told CJ. "But he can't play with me yet. And he has to eat his vegetables."

CJ smiled at the candid response. 

"...and Donna lives at my house now!" Audrey grinned from ear to ear when she said it. 

"Yeah," CJ agreed. "For right now. Do you like having Donna there?"

Audrey nodded emphatically. "I love Donna."

CJ smiled softly at the sentiment. "I know you do. And Donna loves you too. I bet it's fun to have her there. It's like a sleepover, huh?" She was trying to find the best in the situation. 

Audrey shrugged her shoulders. "Donna sleeps with Daddy," she said casually, taking another goldfish from the pile on CJs desk.

CJ's reaction was anything but nonchalant. She practically spit coffee out of her nose screeching, "She what?!"

Audrey blinked a few times, staring at CJ due to her outburst. "Donna sleeps in Daddy's bed," she repeated, unsure what CJ didn't understand. 

CJ attempted to suppress her natural reaction and remember where she was. 

"She... does?"

Audrey nodded her head. "And I sleep in my big girl bed." CJ remembered Donna telling her they'd converted Audrey's crib to a toddler bed a while ago, and stopping by a home furnishings store to pick up a tiny bedding set to match Audrey's lavender walled room. But that wasn’t the point right now. She’d do a little more digging the next time she saw Donna. Or maybe she and Toby would just pop in to check things out for themselves. 

“So, CJ,” switched gears. “I hear you’re going to start preschool soon, young lady…”

CJ and Audrey played for a while, stopping over to say hi to Sam and Ginger.

Just under an hour later, Donna arrived back at the White House from her errand, squared her shoulders, walked through the staff entrance and headed straight to CJs office. Earlier, she'd had a difficult conversation with Leo. Everything was just proving to be too much for her to handle on her own. Between Josh's care and watching Audrey, she couldn't balance her job responsibilities too. As hard as it had been, she'd met with Leo and requested a leave of absence from her job at the White House.

She'd thought that if she could get Audrey into preschool, maybe she could have managed. They had found a great preschool, but they wouldn't haven an opening for at least 6 weeks. There was no way she'd settle for a second rate school for Audrey, so Donna had to find another way to make things work.

 

She’d ended up on the phone to Edith in Florida the prior night, hoping that some advice and perhaps a bit of help would work things out. But Josh’s mother had found a condo, and Donna couldn’t believe how well she was doing in Palm Beach.

"You guys will have so much fun down here,” Edith had told her enthusiastically. “I can't wait for you to visit. There's a playground for Audrey right behind my unit, and Joshua will have access to 5 golf courses within a 15 minute drive and oh Donna you'll just love the views of the ocean. It's so peaceful. And I'll have to take you to a little cafe down the block"

Edith sounded so happy, and in such a better mental place than when she left that Donna couldn’t bear to bring her down by asking her to come back to DC and lend a hand yet again. And it was nice to think about Josh and Audrey's future including a great place to visit. So she’d stuffed away her concerns about how she's going to handle everything on her plate right now, and encouraged Edith.

"That sounds fantastic. We are all great here,” Donna made sure her voice held a smile. “Josh is recovering so quickly, and Audrey will be starting preschool soon. I'm sure they will want to visit as soon as possible." And with that the call had turned to chatter about daily life before Audrey commandeered the phone. 

 

Which lead her to her morning meeting. Leo had been as accommodating as possible, but in the end, she'd had no choice. She was out of vacation time. She'd had to take a leave for 30 days. Unpaid. 

Which is why, after no hesitation on her part, Donna sold her car to make ends meet. She slipped the cash into her pocket and vowed not to say anything to anyone. The last thing she needed was the unsolicited opinions of people who didn't know what they were talking about.

Donna gathered Audrey’s bag and they said their goodbyes to their friends in the West Wing before heading to pick Josh up from his morning’s appointment with the physical therapist. 

Once they’d settled back into the apartment Donna tried her best to persuade Josh to take a warm bath and relax his muscles after his most strenuous appointment to date. But Josh declined, opting instead for a nap.

Donna sat in Audrey's room near the miniature kitchen play set watching the little girl pretend to make dinner while the pair played baby dolls. 

Audrey stirred the empty plastic pot with a purple spoon and hummed a little tune, Donna biting a smirk back as she watched so many little traits of Josh's shine through. She rambled on about what she was cooking for Donna and dug though the little oven for a piece of pretend toast to put on a tiny pink plate. 

Audrey handed Donna a doll to hold and then turned to do something else but stopped. She slowly turned back to Donna and tilted her head a bit, a sure fire sign that she was thinking something though. 

"Donna?"

"Yeah, Sweet Pea?"

"Can I have a baby brother?"

Donna's eyes widened to the size of saucers. It shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise, she told herself. After all, Audrey’s best friend in her dance and movement class was about to become a big sister, and Elsie’s mom was visibly pregnant. But still… how was she supposed to answer that? "Ummm...." 

"Because I really, really want a baby brother."

"Well," Donna tucked her hair behind her ear, trying to figure out how to go about this conversation. "Maybe someday," she told her. 

"When?" Audrey didn't seem interested in dropping the topic. 

"Well, I… don't know," Donna continued. Talk about a hard question to answer, she thought. "But that's a big decision..." she was quickly losing control of the topic and she knew it. "...So your Daddy-"

Audrey giggled. 

"What?" Donna smiled, hoping that the topic was about to change. 

"Daddy's don't have babies. Mommies do."

"Well that's… true..." Donna tread carefully. 

"So can you give me a baby brother now, Donna?"

Donna knew she was doing her best impression of a gold fish, her mouth agape as she searched for an answer. 

"Please," Audrey tried again, climbing onto Donna's lap. 

Donna pulled her close. "I love you, Audrey. But I'm sorry, I can't give you a baby brother."

Audrey's shoulders slumped in defeat and she leaned into Donna who kissed the top of her head. 

Truth be told, she'd love to give Audrey a little brother but she knew that Josh didn't see her that way, and she had to stop dreaming about it. 

Besides, Donna had this sweet little girl in her life and she didn't think her heart could be any more full. 

Josh let out a silent sigh from outside the doorway as he held the snack he’d grabbed from the kitchen. He hadn’t meant to stick Donna with the hard questions but frankly, he wasn’t sure he could have answered that any better himself. As Audrey aged he knew she’d have more questions like that- some even more difficult about her mother- that he just wasn’t sure how to answer. But at the end of every day Audrey knew that she was loved unconditionally by Donna, and Josh couldn’t have dreamed for more than that. 

As he heard Audrey laugh again, he pad quietly back down the hall to do a little thinking and perhaps finally get some rest. 

Josh woke just before dinner time, almost unable to believe how sore he was. It was a chore to sit up and once he did he knew he was in deep trouble. 

“Donna?” It wasn’t so much a bellow as a plea. She appeared from practically nowhere and Josh hated the worried look on her face as she stood in front of him.

“You’re sore,” she told him softly. He was grateful that the statement didn’t come with an I told you so or a lecture on taking warm baths after PT. Donna simply grabbed Josh a muscle relaxer and a glass of water and rubbed his back for a minute. “Do you want to lay back down?”

Josh shook his head no. He was so sick of laying in bed. He at least wanted to have dinner with Donna and Audrey on the couch. 

“Okay,” she told him, helping him up and walking slowly down the hallway with her hand around his waist. “But just take it easy tonight, okay? I’ll get your plate.” 

Josh slowly sat on the couch and in almost no time at all Donna was back in front of him with a plate of lemon pepper chicken with orzo and roasted vegetables. 

“It’s yummy,” Audrey whispered almost conspiratorially to Josh as she pointed to their meals. Neither of the Lyman’s were huge fans of vegetables, but they were warming up to the thought of healthy dinners. 

But the second Donna tried to sit down there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” she announced as she stood. “You guys eat while its warm.” 

Donna was surprised to see CJ on the other side of Josh’s door. “Hi,” she smiled, “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yes. Sorry, didn’t mean to alarm you.” CJ hoped she didn’t look as guilty as she felt. She’d spent most of the day wondering about Audrey’s comment about the sleeping arrangements in the Lyman household and by her afternoon briefing her stomach was in knots. Not, she realized, because of the potential for bad press, but because these two were her friends and in her heart CJ knew they were made for each other. “I just wanted to stop by and say hello,” CJ admitted. 

Donna slipped out into the hallway, pulling the door mostly closed behind her. “I’ll be honest with you, Ceej. It’s not really a good time. He’s in a lot of pain and he just took a few things…”

CJ waived her hands slightly. “No need to explain. I just- I wanted to let you know I’m here if you- any of you- need anything. Leo told me you’re going to be out of the office for a while and I just want you to know I think that this whole situation is- above and beyond. You’re doing a very selfless thing, Donna. And we all admire you for it. Toby and Sam said they’d like to come over on Thursday, if you’re not busy. They can spend a few hours with Josh and Audrey and maybe you and I can go out for dinner?”

CJ’s kind words choked Donna up a little bit, but she remained humble. She’d never even considered it that way. She’d just don’t it- after all, it was Josh. 

CJ gave Donna a friendly hug and Donna eventually let a few tears slip. It had been a rough few weeks and she’d been holding it together. “Thank you,” Donna told her. “I’d really like that.”

Donna heard the front door squeak on its hinges and looked over to see Audrey peering out into the hallway with wide, curious eyes.

“Daddy!!” she yelled as soon as Donna glanced over, a frightened look on her face. “Donna’s crying!”

“It’s okay, Sweet Pea,” Donna said as she crouched down to Audrey's eye level. “I’m okay, I was just talking to Aunt CJ. Don’t worry. Go back inside.”

“What’s wrong?” Josh looked more frantic than Audrey when he appeared behind her, practically throwing the door open. She didn’t know how he’d managed to make it to her that quickly but she could tell he was in excruciating pain from doing so. “Ceej?” Josh was now confused.

“Nothings wrong,” Donna stood. “CJ just came by to say hi, but she’s going to come back on Thursday so she can visit for a while.” Donna herded Audrey back inside. “Go back to your dinners, I’m right behind you.”

Josh glanced over at CJ to ensure that everything was alright and she gave him a wink of confirmation. “We’ll catch up later, Mi Amor,” she told him. “I just wanted a quick word with Donna but I have to head out anyway.”

Josh nodded slowly and started to shuffle back to the couch. CJ saw first hand the toll that the extended recovery was taking on all of them that night. Giving Donna another quick hug and a sincere ‘we all love you guys so much, call any of us if you need anything,’ she was back down the stairs and gone as quickly as she came.

Donna, Audrey and Josh finished their meals and went to bed early that evening, each of them exhausted from a long day. 

Josh had just pulled the covers over his battered body while Donna was putting on some lotion in his en suite. Though a scene this domestic wasn’t in his day to day routine even two months ago, it all felt so natural to him, but he couldn’t exactly pin point the reason. 

"So you'll never guess what Audrey asked me for today." Donna began a bit awkwardly, but Josh knew what she was going to say and almost confessed that he overheard the conversation. But Donna began rambling nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the topic that she brought up. "A baby brother! Sorry, the best I could think of to say was maybe someday. I mean, she's too young to understand that it takes a man and a woman, hopefully in love, to make a baby, and that you aren't even dating anyone right now. But maybe someday you'll meet the right woman and she'll get a little brother. She asked me if I could give her one. Me!” Donna let out a nervous laugh. “I obviously couldn’t explain to her why that wasn’t a possibility but I didn't want to just say that it completely wasn't possible for her.” Donna flipped the light off in the bathroom and peeked her head around the corner. “I hope that was okay."

And in that moment, Josh's beautiful picture of a future and a family with Donna, Audrey and a little boy, vanished.


	12. Chapter 12

"Joshua. Lyman."

Josh looked up to see Donna standing in the doorway to his bedroom with her hands on her hips. He glanced around, trying to figure out what he did wrong.. or more accurately how much she knew. "Uhh, yes?"

She narrowed her gaze at him. "Did you make a promise regarding hot fudge sundaes?"

"Oh," he relaxed and began to smile a bit. If Audrey was just asking about dessert he was probably in the clear. 

Donna made her way over to stand next to his bed and she shot him an inquisitive look, tilting her head as she spoke. "And did you make that promise after you swore a two year old to secrecy about Ed and Larry smuggling you work all week?"

Josh's eyes went wide and he gulped. "I refuse to incriminate myself," he stated pretending to be engrossed in the book he was reading. 

"There are rules, Joshua," she continued without missing a beat. "And they're in place to be followed."

Josh grumbled something under his breath. 

"And if you break the rules, and bribe the accomplice, then you'll have to be punished."

A smile quirked up on the side of his mouth. "Yeah? Did you grab your equipment the last time you were at your apartment?"

Two could play this game. 

"Oh, Joshua," she batted back, keeping her voice low and sultry. "I'd need you to be in peak physical shape to keep up with me if we went that route," she quipped. 

Josh's jaw dropped. He thought he'd had the upper hand but his mind was spinning. 

"I have something much worse in mind..." she turned and sauntered out of his room but Josh's mind was still racing. Had she just implied what he thought she had? He shifted nervously in bed trying to regain the ability to speak before she returned. 

And only a second later Donna appeared once again with a tray of ice cream sundaes and Audrey in tow. 

Audrey ran to Josh, clutching a movie close to her chest and grinning wildly. 

"Oh no," Josh groaned, knowing what was coming before he even looked. 

"Muppets!" Audrey practically squeaked in delight as Donna started the movie and the girls climbed into bed next to Josh. 

But thirty minutes later Josh wasn't paying any attention to singing frog on tv, but to Donna who was dozing beside him with her hand resting on his arm and Audrey, fast asleep between them. 

His whole world was at peace. 

OoOoOoO

Donna stepped out of her hot bath and wrapped up in one of Josh's oversized towels. The house was completely quiet, Audrey napping in her room and Josh asleep in his bed after a particularly strenuous PT session. She pad carefully out of the bathroom past his sleeping form in the bed and quietly pulled out the drawer that housed a few of her clothing articles. 

Donna pulled the pin out of the bun that sat high atop her head and let her hair fall around her shoulders before quickly dropping her towel and stepping into a a pair of panties. 

"Donna?!" Josh croaked out. He hadn't been asleep. Eyes wide and unable to look away from her form her was propped up on his elbows, staring at her from his bed. 

Donna startled at the sound of her name, whipping around to face him. "Josh? OhMyGod!" She was panicked but had nothing to cover herself with. Unable to think quickly, she just stood there for a moment. 

"Oh my God..." Josh echoed her words with a very different connotation. His eyes ran up and down her as he swallowed hard. 

"OhMyGod," she stated again, "Josh!"

The frantic tone in her voice when she said his name pulled him from his daydream. "Huh?"

"Don't... LOOK!"

"Oh," Josh slammed his eyes closed. "I, uh... sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," she rambled as she hurried to throw on an old tshirt of his and a pair of pajama pants. 

"Oh, Donna, you've got nothing to be sorry about," he told her with a smirk, eyes still closed on the bed. Josh almost immediately felt a pillow hit him. "Alright," he admitted, "I probably deserved that."

Josh heard the drawers close and Donna walk to the hamper and drop the towel in. 

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Yeah," she muttered, her arms crossed in front of her as she looked away. This wasn't the way he'd imagined this particular scenario playing out but he wasn't going to let it come between them. 

"I don't want this to be weird," he told her with a serious voice. "So I'm willing to make you an offer."

"Huh?" She was completely caught off guard. 

"You showed me yours. I'll show you mine." He was grinning. 

Donna let out a giggle, which turned into a chuckle which became contagious. She shoved him a bit and they both broke into laugher. 

"I guess we're even then," she told him. "Because I've already seen yours."

"Donna!" He was exasperated. 

"Well I have," she smirked. 

"Call it even," he offered. 

"Deal," she smirked. 

They may have been in unfamiliar territory, but Donna was absolutely sure of one thing. No matter what life threw at them or what they labeled each other, this man was her person. 

OoOoOoO

Josh slowly opened his eyes to a dimly lit room. The streetlights were barely streaming through the curtains and he was cocooned next to Donna under the warm covers on his bed. She'd started sleeping next to him when he'd first come home from the hospital and neither of them ever questioned the fact that she was still there, in his bed, even though he was long past the point of being unable to sleep through the night. 

Donna was sleeping soundly, her breathing deep and steady, tucked in to the crook of his arm, her head resting on his chest and her arm draped across him. 

No matter how they fell asleep, Josh noticed they'd gravitated to the same position in their sleep every night. He'd wake up, sometimes in pain, sometimes in a mild panic, but he'd find Donna in his arms and he'd be comforted immediately. He'd pull her close and close his eyes, breathing in her scent and absorbing her comforting presence and soon, he'd be asleep again too. 

That particular night, however, he awoke with a bit of a startle, breathing heavy and feeling a cold sweat barely begin to break out. It took him just a split second to regain his bearings, Donna stirring slightly the process. 

"Josh?" She didn't even open her eyes, shifting her weight as she barely woke up. 

"It's okay, go back to sleep," he whispered, softly stroking her arm. But his heart was still beating faster than normal. 

"Mmmm," she mumbled. Donna rolled slightly, her leg snaking between his as her hand found its way under his shirt and moved up his chest to rest on his sternum. 

Josh froze. The lines between them were blurred to begin with but lately he couldn't read any of the signals she was or wasn't sending him. He wanted so badly for this platonic orbit they were locked into to become something more. But this was Donna- the woman that meant more to him than any other in the world. He wasn't going to mess this up. 

OoOoOoO

Donna stepped out of the shower and toweled off, changing into a casual outfit. She was glad to have had a fleeting few moments to herself. Josh was getting cabin fever after nearly two and a half months indoors. He also wasn't sleeping so well lately, she'd noticed, and he was becoming easily irritable. 

She pad down the hallway towards the kitchen and when she rounded the corner she saw him on his hands and knees on the floor, the kitchen littered in spilled cereal. 

"Josh, what are you doing?" She was a mixture of curiosity and concern. Though he'd improved quite a bit he still wasn't back to 100% and shouldn't be doing anything that could hurt him. 

"Picking up. What's it look like," he halfway barked. Audrey had asked for a hand full of cereal as snack and he'd fumbled the box getting it open, spilling the contents. 

Donna dropped to her knees beside him and began to help him pick up. "I've got this," she told him. "You can go watch TV with Audrey."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know you can but-"

"I don't need you to hover, Donna. God, you're driving me crazy! Just leave me alone."

Donna felt, and looked, like she'd just been slapped.

"Donna, I didn't mean that." He scrubbed his hands over his face. But the damage was done for the moment. 

Josh sat down on the floor leaning back against the cabinets and sighed. Donna continued to clean up, somewhat frantically, not meeting his gaze. 

"Donnatella." Her motions stilled and she risked a glance in his direction. 

He extended his hand towards her. "Come here," he almost whispered. 

She moved towards him and sat down, looking at the floor. 

They sat in silence for a moment, Josh unsure of how to begin. "I'm sorry," he finally stated. 

She could tell by the timber of his voice that he was full of emotion. It had been a rough few weeks for everyone and it was especially no exception for Josh. He just felt somewhat... useless. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she told him timidly. 

"Donna-" he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "You know I didn't mean that. You know I couldn't do this without you. Any of it. Recovering, raising Audrey, hell, getting President Bartlet elected. And please, Donna, tell me you know that."

She was quiet for a moment and Josh reached out, placing his hand on her leg, palm up. "Youre the most valuable person in the world to me, Donna."

She intertwined her fingers with his, leaning her head on his shoulder. She felt Josh kiss the top of her hair and then lean his head back again. 

"I should have let you do it yourself. Froot Loops are definitely your department," she teased. 

"Hey, don't be jealous of my fan club," he smirked, tossing a bite of cereal into his mouth. 

Donna snickered. "Those we're on the floor."

"Awww," Josh whined, somewhat disgusted. "Gross."

"Come on," Donna stood up and extended him a hand. "I'll clean this up and get dinner started."

OoOoOoO

"Eat your breakfast and then you can get dressed for school."

"Okay," Audrey didn't complain one bit about the banana pancakes Donna had made in the shape of little A's in celebration of her first day. 

"Are mine shaped like J's?" Josh piped up once he saw Audrey's plate, giving Donna a little tease as he cut Audrey's food into reasonable sized pieces. 

Donna rolled her eyes but a little smirk graced her face as she grabbed his plate of J's and her cup of yogurt and sat down. 

Josh couldn't help but to grin too. "What's on your agenda today?" He glanced over at Donna. 

"Same as yours," she quipped. "Take her to school," she emphasized the last word for Audrey's sake, "your PT appointment and then head back here. And I thought maybe we'd get carry out for lunch. It's a special day, isn't it?" She reached over and tickled Audrey, the table immediately filling with smiles and laughter. 

"I thought I wasn't supposed to go out," Josh grumbled. 

"It's her first day of school, Josh. I know you wouldn't miss that for the world."

Josh looked like a kid loose in a candy store. Donna shook her head. She knew that the doctor said but she also knew that it would crush Josh not to take Audrey to her first day himself- and watching her start preschool was hard enough for him as it was. Besides, he had a PT appointment afterwards. It was on the way. 

After all three were dressed and ready, Donna pulled Audrey's lunchbox from the fridge and grabbed the tiny pink backpack they'd picked up earlier in the week. They made the short drive to the preschool and Donna pulled into a parking space, unloading onto the side walk as Donna slipped Audrey's backpack on. Josh beamed with pride as he took Audrey's hand and walked slowly towards the little school. Donna grabbed the camera from the car and fell into step beside them, pausing briefly just inside the gate. 

She stood Audrey by a flower pot and snapped a few photos of her with a big smile on her face, and one of Josh crouching next to her with a full dimpled grin. 

"Excuse me," Josh flagged down another parent as she walked by. "It's her first day. Would you mind taking a picture of all of us?"

Before she could say anything, Josh pulled Donna close and wrapped an arm around her waist, as Donna held Audrey for the perfect family photo. 

Setting Audrey back on the ground, Donna bent down beside her. "Okay, Sweet Pea. Remember what we talked about?" Donna smoothed Audrey's curls. "You're going to go to school today. And Daddy and I will be back to pick you up at lunch, okay?"

Audrey looked around a bit as Donna spoke. 

"You're going to have a lot of fun and meet lots of friends. And I packed you all of your favorites in your lunchbox, okay?"

Audrey was growing visibly nervous. "I wanna go with you and Daddy," she whispered to Donna, her bottom lip beginning to quiver. 

"Okay," Josh practically shouted before Audrey could even finish the request. 

Donna shot him a warning glance from the side her of her eyes and he immediately looked sheepish. Donna reached out and softly touched the back of his calf as she remained at eye level with Audrey, giving Josh a bit of unspoken support. 

"Audrey, we talked about this, Sweet Pea. You're going to start going to school like a big girl. But you don't have to stay all day this week, okay? Daddy and I will be back right after lunch."

Audrey threw her arms around Donna's neck and held on tight. "Please Donna? I want to go with you and Daddy. I'll be good. I promise."

Donna wrapped Audrey in a hug. "You're always good, Audrey. You're not being punished, okay? I just think you'll have lots of fun. Can Daddy and I go in and look around with you?" 

Audrey nodded slowly and Donna stood, taking one of her hands as Josh held they other and they wandered inside to a flurry of activity. Finding Audrey's room they met each of the teachers and took a short tour before Donna placed Audrey's belongings into a cubby with her name on it and sat the three of them down to color so Audrey could acclimate. 

"Donna? Audrey?"

Donna turned at the unfamiliar voice, relieved to be met by a smiling familiar face. "Audrey, look who's here! It's Paige!" Donna pulled Audrey away from her coloring and was pleased with Audrey's reaction to running into a familiar face from her Toddler Art class. Donna stood up and offered Paige her little chair, the two girls quickly becoming consumed in their art as Josh watched on and Donna chat with Paige's mother Ellen. 

Not long after the teacher gathered all of the kids to sit in a circle and start the day, Audrey trailing happily along after Paige and waiving goodbye to Josh and Donna without any further ado. Josh grabbed his coat and followed Donna quietly out the door with his hand on the small of her back, growing a little more bold as they excited towards the street and pulling her close to him. 

"You did a great job in there," he told her. "I don't know what we'd do without you, Donna."

Donna beamed with pride and moved a little closer to Josh. "I love you guys."

He gave her arm a gentle squeeze and walked in step with her back to the car. 

OoOoOoO

"So what exactly are you mailing in?"

"It's a revised copy of my will," he handed her an envelope and Donna dropped it in the drive through mail box. "I realized that I hadn't exactly crossed all of my t's and dotted my i's in that particular arena and after this summer I couldn't escape it any more. So I updated a few things. You were already Audrey's guardian but I needed to make sure you wouldn't have any trouble accessing anything the two of you needed financially. And I had medical power of attorney drawn up for Audrey and I as well so you can make any necessary decisions for either of us."

Donna couldn't help but to notice how matter of fact he was about the whole topic. 

"Between my thrift savings account, social security and life insurance, she should be taken care of. I've got an untimely death policy on the condo that will pay off the loan, and I've got a small house, an investment property out in Colorado, that I inherited from my Dad. I'm sorry, there isn't really anything more- I'm just a government employee."

"Well there goes my big plan to convince you to marry me, then slowly poison you for your money."

"Har, Har. What were you planning on doing with Audrey in this little scenario of yours?"

"I thought she and I would get a flat in Paris and just be two well dressed women with nothing to do all day. Live a life of leisure." She shoved him in the shoulder but then took a more serious tone. "Josh. You know I'd protect her with my life if something happened to you."

"I know. You already do." He reached over and gave her leg a gentle squeeze before getting back on track. "Anyway. The safe with my will and other documents is in my office at home. The combination is 270." 

She chuckled a bit. 

"What?"

"You," she grinned. "270. You really do have a one track mind sometimes."

He shrugged. "Hey, it beats picking something I can't remember," he thumbed through the rest of the stack of mail. "Make a right here."

"Why?" She made the turn. 

"I want to stop for coffee."

"You don't need coffee."

"Donna..." he whined as they drove by Starbucks. 

"You don't. We're not stopping. 

"Since when did this become a hostage situation? Last time I checked I was the boss."

She shot him a death glare. 

"You know... I heard myself say that and I didn't like how it came out either." He had the decency to look ashamed. 

She smirked at his embarrassment, putting on her blinker and pulling into the back parking lot and parking the car in front of a second Starbucks. 

"Let me get this straight," she began as they took their places in the back of the line, slowly moving forward towards the barista. "You have a place in Colorado and you've never taken me there? AND you refused to buy me skis? I'm wounded, Joshua." She gave him a pout. 

"It's a small cabin, not a sprawling ski chalet, Zsa Zsa."

"Still..."

"Still what?" He laughed. 

"You've still never taken me there."

"I've never even been there. I inherited it from my dad," he pulled out his wallet as they approached the counter. "It was some kind of a bonus from his firm. Supposed to be a hunting cabin. But the taxes and maintenance are cheap so I hold onto it."

"Because you're an outdoorsman," she batted back with sarcasm. 

"Precisely," he told her, not acknowledging the joke. "Venti Dark Roast with 10 pumps of syrup," Josh spouted off to the barista. 

"He'll have a tall decaf with nonfat milk," Donna piped in. 

Josh glanced at Donna before looking back to the barista. "She's trying to kill me," he announced with a straight face. 

Donna smacked his arm. "Don't tell people that! They'll think you're serious!"

Josh continued to speak the barista, a wide grin on his face. "See how she treats me?" He laughed softly. "Anyway. I guess I'll take a tall decaf, she'll have a chai latte and we'll take a cookie and a box of milk to go"

"You don't need a cookie!"

"It's for Audrey."

"She doesn't really need a cookie either." Josh could easily see that she was wavering, Donna had a hard time denying the child anything, too.

"But look how cute it is.  A flower.  She'll be so happy."

"Okay.  We'll take the cookie too. The yellow one, please," Donna added. 

OoOoOoO

With her belongings gathered and packed neatly into a suitcase, Donna leaned down by the front door to speak to Audrey. "I'm leaving now, Sweet Pea," she pulled her close. "Thank you for letting me stay with you for a few months. I love you so much."

"Why do you have to leave," Audrey asked Donna, giving her a pout. 

"Because I have to go back to my house now."

"But you can just live here," she tried again. "In Daddy's room."

Donna kissed the top of Audrey's head. "Were still going to spend time together, Sweet Pea," Donna offered. "I'll pick you up from school one day this week, okay?"

Audrey was defeated but didn't continue to argue. Josh had warned her about Donna's departure. "Go pick out a book, shortcake," he told her. "I'll be in to tuck you in in just a minute."

Audrey made her way back to her room, leaving Josh and Donna in a heavy silence. 

"Okay, so Ill see you tomorrow at the office?" She wasn't sure why this all of the sudden felt so unnatural. 

"Um, Yeah. You've got your toothbrush?" He fumbled a bit, unsure of what to say. 

Josh wrapped her in a right hug, pulling her close and speaking softly into her ear. "I'll never be able to find the right words," he told her. "Thank you isn't even close to enough. I just- you're incredible. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I don't know why you put up with us but I'm so grateful that you do. We would never have made it through this without you."

She opened her mouth to tell him they would have been just fine but found herself choked up by his words and instead simply squeezed him back. 

Josh kissed her forehead and stepped away. "You're sure you don't need help?"

He eyed her duffel bag. 

"I'm fine," she waived him off knowing she was just going to take the metro. She still hadn't admitted to him that she'd had to sell her car to make ends meet. 

He nodded his head in understanding and picked up a small box and card from the entry table. "This is for you," he told her. "From Audrey and me. It's uh- well it's not much but we'd like you to have it. You can open it when you get home."

She gave him a soft smile and tucked it safely inside of her purse, stepping outside into the cold and closing the door on the feeling of family she'd come home to for months. 

Josh sighed and leaned against the door, watching her until she was out of sight through the peep hole before returning to Audrey to read a story and tuck her in. 

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, Shortcake?"

She looked up at him with big, sad eyes. "I miss Donna," she told him ever so softly. 

Josh sighed. "Me too, baby girl. Me too."


	13. Chapter 13

After what Donna was certain must have been the longest, loneliest night of her life, she was delighted when her cell phone rang, displaying Josh’s number. She was already walking down the street towards the office, pleased to meet Josh in his office for his first day back. She'd only moved out of his apartment the evening before but after what felt like the loneliest night of her life she was eager to see him again. He must have felt the same way, she thought. 

"Good morning," Donna chirped into her cell phone. 

"Donna?"

She could immediately hear the edge to his voice and Audrey's loud cries in the background. 

She stopped in her tracks, her face falling. "What's wrong?" Her pulse sped up and she felt a wave of panic wash over her. 

"I'm sorry to have to do this," Josh began. "But she's just not having a good morning and she thinks I'm doing everything wrong... would you mind?" He didn't even have to vocalize that he needed her help. She could read him and knew what he meant. 

Audrey let out another wail for Donna in the background and Donna immediately threw her arm up to hail a passing cab. "I'll be there in 10 minutes," she told Josh. "Is she already dressed? I put her outfit for picture day on a hanger in the front of her closet before I left last night."

"Yeah, thanks," Josh told her. "I saw it but she's not exactly ready to go and I have senior staff in 45 minutes-"

"Calm down," Donna told him. "Just let her watch a little TV and I'll get her ready and take her to school. I'll brief you when I get there."

"Kay," Josh told her. "See you in a bit."

When Donna arrived she wasn't sure who was more traumatized by the morning's events- Audrey or Josh. 

Josh looked as though he was about to pull his hair out. "Hey," she gave him a gentle smile. "Need a hand?"

His relief was instant. Just her arrival calmed his fraying nerves. 

Josh opened the door a little more wide and Donna stepped inside, handing him her cup of coffee. "You take this," she told him, her hands moving to start work on the tie hanging loosely around his neck. "And head to work. You've got senior staff at 3, the statistics you need for the NEA funding Leo wants to discuss are on your desk in the green folder. The information for the waterways bill is condensed to a one page brief in the blue folder. Your morning is open for us to go over a few things and then you have a meeting with the Speaker at 11. I'll take care of Miss Priss."

"You're a lifesaver, Donna." He walked over and kissed Audrey goodbye. "Be good for Donna," he warned the still huffy child. "I'll see you after school." He slipped into his suit jacket and overcoat. "Thank you," he told Donna sincerely. "I'd be lost without you," he kissed her softly on the cheek and head out the door. 

Donna sat down next to Audrey who hardly acknowledged her when she entered the condo. Wordlessly, Audrey crawled onto Donna's lap and snuggled in close to her, hanging on to Donna as she continued to watch Sesame Street. 

Donna pulled her in tight and kissed the top of her head. "What's wrong, Sweet Pea?" But Donna knew the answer. She'd wondered how Audrey would react to another major change in her daily life when Donna moved out, but Donna had assured herself that it wouldn't make a large impact. Clearly, she was right with her first assessment. 

She waited the 7 minutes until the program was over before calmly shutting the tv off and taking Audrey to her room to get dressed. Donna perched Audrey on the sink and washed her tear stained face, relieved to see that her eyes were becoming less puffy from the morning's crying. And then Donna softly began to brush Audrey's curls- the hair, Josh had advised her, was the root of the issue that morning. Audrey had insisted that Josh just wasn't doing it right. 

Donna tamed Audrey's wild curls and sectioned off a small portion to clip back with a bow on the uncharacteristically silent girl. "Okay," she took Audrey's hand, "lets go." 

Donna grabbed their belongings and put Audrey in a coat, glad that Josh had left his car for them and taken a cab into the office. 

They drove down the street to Audrey's preschool and Donna went inside and stood with Audrey in the photo line. "Give them a big smile, pretty girl," she leaned down and gave Audrey a tickle, trying to get a good photo out of her. But after the photographer was finished Donna didn't walk Audrey to her classroom, instead informing the school that they'd be back in an hour or so. 

Donna drove them to a local diner for breakfast, ordering Audrey silver dollar pancakes and having a heart to heart with her. "I know things are different again," Donna assured her. "And I know that you and Daddy don't like it when things change. But Audrey, I want you to listen to me."

Audrey looked right at Donna. "I need you to be good for Daddy, okay? I know you love him and you know he loves you. So maybe if he doesn't do your hair like I do that's okay- he's trying his best. Do you understand?"

“Come home?” Audrey offered an option of her own. If Donna just moved back in, everything would be perfect again. 

“Sweet Pea, we talked about this, remember? I have my own house and I have to live there now. You and Daddy live at your house, but I’ll still come to visit. I promise.”

“Miss you,” Audrey looked crushed. She'd loved the time that Donna had spent living with them and she didn't understand why that had to come to an end. "Sleep in Daddy's room," she offered with bright eyes, wondering if perhaps she had just solved the whole problem. 

"Well I'm not sure how he would feel about that," Donna chuckled. 

"Daddy is sad," Audrey quickly added. "Come home, Donna. Please, Donna? Please, Please, Please?"

"Audrey." Donna gave a warning tone of voice. 

She pouted in defeat. They’d discussed this before, and Audrey and Josh had been twenty rounds on the topic that very morning. 

"So are you going to be extra good for Daddy from now on?"

Audrey nodded her head vigorously. 

"No more tantrums in the morning?"

"Okay!" Audrey told her enthusiastically. 

Donna paid the check and walked Audrey back to the car, heading to the White House. She knew Josh and Audrey well enough to know that their morning would eat at both of them all day. 

So when Josh rounded the corner into the operations bullpen after senior staff, already spitting fire and barking demands, he was shocked to say the least to see Audrey standing in front of his office holding Donna's hand. 

"What are you guys doing here?" The question was clearly for Donna, to whom he shot a worried look. 

"Audrey wants to tell you something," Donna supplied, letting go of Audrey's hand as Josh crouched down to her eye level. 

Audrey threw her arms around Josh's neck and held on tight. "Sorry, Daddy," she told Josh softly, bringing a tender smile to his face. 

He hugged his daughter tightly and gave Donna a thankful look. "It's okay, Shortcake. I love you so much," he told her before Audrey stepped away, both of the Lyman's looking to Donna for approval. 

"Go get your coat, Audrey," Donna instructed. One she was out of earshot Donna turned to Josh. "I think she was just in a mood this morning. And I know you can handle this without me- you've been doing fine for years. But I don’t see why this can’t be a little easier on everyone... so how about I come over 3 mornings a week- when you have early start for Senior Staff and get her ready and take her to school. I just think it'll work better for everyone."

Josh stared at her. "You'd do that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, Josh. When are you going to get that through your thick skull? There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Or for you," she added softly. 

Josh looked at her intently, trying to find his bearings. But the moment between them was quickly interrupted when Audrey found her coat and became anxious to get to school and Ed and Larry appeared with a stack of files for Josh. 

OoOoOoO

"The doctor will be with you in a moment Mr. Lyman." The nurse jot a quick note on the clipboard and exited the room as Josh took a seat on the edge of a paper lined exam table. 

"Take your shirt off," Donna told him, reaching out for his jacket so he wouldn't toss it down. She knew the cardiologist would need to see his bare chest- he had during all of the other appointments. 

"Donna, we only have a few minutes. But if you insist..." Josh smirked at her. 

Donna rolled her eyes at him. "That joke is just as funny as the last 7 times you've told it," she poked him in the arm, taking his dress shirt and then his undershirt. 

"Cute bandaid, Mr. Deputy Chief of Staff. Did the minority leader know that you had a hot pink hello kitty bandaid on during your meeting?"

Josh glanced down at himself and saw the haphazardly placed bandage that Audrey offered up for his "owie" that morning. "I forgot that was there," he mumbled, picking at the adhesive sides to remove it. "And speaking of that meeting, you'll never guess who I ran into... Ron Butterfield's wife. She's working on The Hill. I didn't even know Ron Butterfield had a wife..." 

A tender smile danced across her lips as he spoke. 

"What?" He asked, wondering what she was thinking. 

"Nothing. It's just- you're a really good Dad, Josh. I'm proud of you."

"Well you're a really good-" His face twisted in an odd way, almost as he caught himself in the middle of a sentence he wasn't sure how to finish. He knew what he was thinking but he couldn't quite say that to her. He swallowed hard. "You're a good... Donna."

Donna beamed at his words. They may not have been poetic, but just as she always did, she knew what he meant.

OoOoOoO 

"Uh huh," Josh agreed, his cell phone wedged between his shoulder and his ear as he cut the crusts off of a PB&J and slipped each of the quarters into a ziplock bag. "But if you review the report from the Department of Labor it clearly contradicts that." He licked his fingers and stuck Audrey's sandwich into a lunchbox. He continued to listen to the call he was on with Leo and some economists while grabbing his backpack, handing Audrey her lunchbox and taking her hand to walk out the door. They made their way out of the apartment and into the car, Josh settling her into the backseat. 

Becoming quite bored with the lack of conversation with her father she began to sing softly. "A, B, C, D..."

"All I'm saying," Josh continued, "is that we need to be sure of the number crunching before we make a statement either way..."

"...E, F, G..." 

"...so double check the figures and I'll get with Toby and Sam..."

"...H, I, J, K..."

"...and we'll have something for you by the end of the week, Leo."

"...elemeno, P..."

"It's L, M, N, O, not elemeno," Josh told Audrey in a gentle aside. 

"What?" Leo asked from the other end of the phone, completely thrown off. 

Audrey concentrated for a moment before repeating very clearly, "L, M, N, O."

"I was talking to Audrey," Josh muttered. "I'll see you in 30 minutes, Leo."

Leo grunted a goodbye to Josh and added a softer, "say good morning to Audrey for me."

Josh clicked off the phone and closed the door to the car, heading towards the White House. 

OoOoOoO 

Donna stood in Josh's office fixing his bow tie and prattling on about a book she'd read on the history of Modern Greece. 

It may not have been standard procedure to take your assistant to state dinners, but no one even blinked when Josh inevitably showed up with Donna on his arm. It's just the way those two were. 

Josh escorted her to the ballroom and watched with pride as she mingled with guests and stood confidently with foreign dignitaries. Josh was pulled away for a moment, lending his opinion to Leo for a development in the situation room, and Donna shifted quickly back into work mode, never missing a beat. 

By the time they arrived back to the party, dinner was concluded and the guests had made their way to the dance floor.

Donna sighed.

“What?” Josh looked over to her, waiting for an answer.

“I was hungry,” she admitted. “And dinner looked good.”

“Yeah…” Josh glanced around the room woefully, trying to determine if there was any way to snag a plate. It wasn’t looking too good. But he didn’t want Donna to be hungry- especially if they were going to spend the better part of their night in his office waiting for word from the situation room. Josh dug around in his coat pocket, pulling out Donna’s lip gloss, a small purple bow that Audrey had taken off at an inconvenient time, and finally, his cell phone. Speaking softly Josh ordered a double cheese pizza and a garden salad to be delivered to the front gate. 

Donna grinned but didn’t tease him. She was famished and she knew the gesture was mostly for her benefit. 

“It’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Josh announced. “And I’ll share on one condition.” 

“Oh?” Donna tilted her head towards him playfully.

“Dance with me?” Josh extended his hand to her and they made their way to the center of the ballroom. 

He pulled her closer than an assistant would typically dance with their boss. But then again, these two were anything but typical. He knew, without a doubt, that he was crazy about her. But he was her boss and his ethics always thwarted any plans for happiness his mind could dream up. He’d wait, he told himself, until he could do this right. He owed her that at the very least- if, he tempered his optimism, she even felt the same way. 

They sway softly to the music and Josh, just for a moment, allowed himself to breathe her in. He’d missed her more than he would ever have imagined. The nights since she’d left had been increasingly difficult on him, and the simple act of having her close enough to smell the lavender and vanilla in her hair did wonders for his soul. 

He more. He wanted everything. But to do this right, to make sure everything was perfect for Donna, he could wait. He had to. 

 

OoOoOoO

"Hi, Donna."

"Hi, Cindy." Donna had struck up a friendship with Audrey's preschool teacher almost immediately. It was nothing above and beyond but Donna was an easy person to get along with and she felt better knowing more about the teacher with which Audrey spent 8 hours of her day. 

"Donna!" Audrey crashed into Donna's legs, wrapping around her with a wide smile. 

"Hi, Sweet Pea," Donna smoothed her curls. "Ready to go?"

Audrey nodded that she was and ran over to the cubby with her name on it to wait while Donna grabbed her belongings. 

"She has an art project to take home today as well," Cindy told them. "They're on the table in the hallway. They should be dry by now."

Donna zipped Audrey's coat up and put her backpack on, taking her hand and exiting to the hallway, quickly finding the arts and crafts project with the Audrey L. scrawled in the bottom corner. 

"Did you make this? You did a great job!" Donna bent over and looked at the Thanksgiving turkeys created out of Audrey's two small palm prints and adorned with various feathers and craft supplies. 

Audrey nodded eagerly, beaming at Donna's approval. 

"And a list of what you're thankful for," Donna read out loud, pointing to each item on the list that the teacher wrote neatly in the corner of the page for each student. 

"Audrey is thankful for... Daddy & Donna, Bubbe, Walter the Bunny and Cookies."

Donna pulled Audrey close. "I'm thankful for you, too, Sweet Pea," she became a little choked up. "You have no idea how thankful," she kissed her forehead and stood up, composing herself and handing Audrey the paper. "Hold onto this so you can show Daddy when we get to the office."

Donna held Audrey's hand as they walked to Josh's car and Donna fastened her into her seat. 

Audrey talked and talked about her day. A trait that Josh joked she picked up from Donna. They stopped by to pick up carry out for senior staff and made their way back to the White House, Donna carrying a huge box of food under one arm and Audrey with the other. As soon as they were through security Donna dropped dinner off in the Roosevelt room and she and Audrey set out to round up the senior staff. 

Donna held Audrey on her hip as they navigated the corridors of the west wing, Audrey proudly clutching her artwork 

They rounded the corner to see Josh pouring over some notes with CJ. "Daddy! Look!" Audrey held her painting up for him. 

"Wow, very nice!" Josh fawned over the artwork and leaned in to kiss Audrey's cheek hello. "Turkeys?" He asked Donna in quiet aside. 

"Yeah," she nodded her head, understanding why he was struggling to place what exactly was on the paper as she had never personally encountered any purple crayon turkeys within neon pink feathers glued haphazardly to their bodies. 

"We will hang that on the fridge when we get home," Josh assured her. "Did you have a good day at school?"

Audrey nodded enthusiastically. "Donna picked me up!"

"And," Donna interjected, "dinner is here. It's in the Roosevelt room if you want to head that way. We'll grab Sam and Toby and say hi to Ginger if she's still here if you'll let Leo know."

Josh agreed, grabbing a binder off of his desk and heading down the hall as Donna and Audrey wandered to communications. 

Audrey became completely captivated by a sheet of paper and some new fluorescent highlighters at Ginger's desk so Donna popped in to Toby's office. 

"Glad you stopped by," he stood with a sheet of paper. "I need a fresh set of eyes. Third paragraph," he told her. 

Donna read carefully over the document and began to discuss the finer points with Toby when she felt Audrey tug at her sleeve. Donna reached down and picked her up, never missing a beat in the conversation as Audrey squirmed around slightly and then carefully reached for the antique silver locket hanging around Donna’s neck.

She fumbled with it for a few moments, occupying herself with the shiny piece of jewelry that Josh had given Donna the night she had moved back into her own apartment. It had been his grandmothers, he’d informed her in the card, and he wanted her to have it. Leo, who was walking by, entered the room when he overheard Donna’s commentary, and placed a gentle hand on Audrey’s back while he listened, but she was hardly phased. 

A mystified gasp escaped Audrey’s lips a few seconds later when she accidentally opened the clasp to the locket. The three adults glanced over to her but continued with their conversation.

“It’s me!” Audrey exclaimed as soon as she saw the photo inside. “And Daddy!”

Leo and Toby glanced towards the locket, which contained a photo of Josh, Donna and Audrey on her first day of school and another of Audrey sporting a huge grin.

Donna softly took the locket out of Audrey’s hands and closed it, laying it to rest carefully on her sweater. Toby gave her a gentle smile. He’d always had a soft spot for Donna, and he loved watching her find happiness, albeit unconventionally, with Josh and Audrey. 

Leo, too, gave a grin, placing his hand on Donna’s shoulder and giving her a soft squeeze. “Good girl,” he told her. “Now, let’s get this meeting started before dinner gets cold.”

 

OoOoOoO 

Josh and Donna were sitting together on the couch after Audrey was finally down for the night.

"You're quiet." Josh said, tilting his head and studying her. His eyes cautiously roamed over her, looking for any sign that the date went worse than she'd previously indicated. He didn't like to admit it but one of his deepest fears was that something will happen to her on one of these dates. He could never quite breathe easily until she stopped by with a slice of dessert and a life lesson for Audrey so he could see for himself that she was fine. Safe and sound where she belonged- with him. 

"Something odd happened tonight."

Josh's heart skipped a beat. Did he miss something when he was finishing off the last of the girls' apple pie a la mode? He looked her over again and tried to clear his throat as if to sound casual. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah," though she was speaking to him she seemed somewhat lost in thought. "I got my wallet out because he asked for your card, and when he saw Audrey's picture, he freaked out a bit."

"What did he say?" Josh was on full alert now that this gomer had brought his daughter into it too. They'd come back around to the fact that this idiot was asking Donna for a political favor on a date. 

"He said 'Is that your niece?' and I said 'No, it's my Audrey.' Then he said, 'What the hell? You have a kid?' And I tried to explain that she was yours but then he was freaked out that I keep a picture of my boss' daughter in my wallet. Am I weird, Josh? Is this whole situation weird?"

"NO!" He responded a bit more defensively than he'd intended. "He was just a jerk." Josh tried to distract her. "Which picture was it?"

She picked up her purse and flipped the wallet out to show him. 

"Hey?! Are these the new school photos? I don't have one yet. How'd you get this?"

"I have my sources, Josh," she smirked. "They're in my desk at work. You were in that meeting with Barryhill and then you left early. I was going to update your wallet tomorrow."

Josh grinned at the photo, and Donna moved a little closer and craned her neck to look too. 

"She looks just like you in this one," Donna remarked proudly. "Look at those little dimples."

"She really does, doesn't she?" Josh was amazed. 

But what never ceased to amaze him was Donna's unwavering love for his daughter.


	14. Chapter 14

The gentle light from outside peeked through Donna's bedroom windows but she didn't open her eyes. Instead she moved closer to Josh under the warm blankets piled on her bed. It had been a long, late night and she'd insisted he stay with her. It was freezing in his apartment, she'd rationalized, and even though she'd had the super fix the window while Josh was with Stanley the day before, the heater hadn't had time to catch up.

For about the millionth time in the last few months she lay in then silence of the morning and thanked a higher power that it hadn't been any worse. And she was never so grateful that Audrey had been with Edith for the last two nights. He was once again on the road to recovery.

Donna moved her head slightly where it rest on his chest and felt his hand move to softly stoke her hair.

This was all they had of each other. A few tender moments in the early hours, in which neither of them would allow themselves the luxury of acknowledging what this truly was. They both thought that if it remained unspoken perhaps neither would be hurt by the others rejection.

And so the both clung to each other with everything they had, embracing the other and loving them unconditionally while they could.

Eventually they rose, still silent and Donna took a quick shower while Josh stayed in bed thinking of all that happened over the last 24 hours. Donna emerged clad in a clean pair of pajamas. "It's all yours," she motioned to the shower. "I packed you a few things. But put on the pajama pants and Harvard sweatshirt."

"We aren't getting dressed?"

Donna shook her head. "No. Your mother and Audrey will be here for Christmas morning. We have to do breakfast and gifts in pajamas. Then we will get dressed for Christmas dinner."

"Whatever you say," he chuckled.

His mood was shifting. It was music to her ears.

When he stepped out of the shower with a head full of damp curls he found her standing in front of the window with her hands wrapped around a large cup of coffee.

"Merry Christmas," he almost croaked, a little bit surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded.

She gave him a million watt smile. "Merry Christmas, Josh. It snowed last night."

He was endlessly amused by the fact that she could be so over the moon about something as simple as a fresh powder on Christmas morning. She'd plugged the tree in and even he had to admit that the soft glow of the lights created a soft warm feeling.

He was content standing next to her as she leaned back into him slightly. It may have been the proximity to the radiator, but he swore his whole body warmed up with the simple touch.

Content to watch the city go by in silence, she handed Josh her mug of coffee and he didn't hesitate as he took a drink. He swore he could stand there forever.

He glanced around the room a bit, taking in the apartment that felt like a second home. Though Josh knew for a fact that Donna was meticulous when it came to decorating her tree, this year it was completely out of sorts. He knew immediately that this was in no small part his daughter's doing. The tree was adorned with Donna's coordinating globes and ornaments from her childhood, and sprinkled with a few glitter coated paper snowflakes that looked to be a product of craft time at Audrey's school.

She'd come to him in the weeks prior, asking to take Audrey for the evening on several occasions for Christmas related festivities and he'd gladly agreed. Even though they'd be celebrating Hanukkah at his house, Josh had no problem letting Audrey and Donna bond over some holiday fun. She'd taken Audrey ice skating, shopping at the mall and to see Santa. They'd baked cookies, decorated a tree and Josh didn't even know what else.

It wasn't long before the silent morning was interrupted by a knock at the door and Donna greeted Edith and Audrey with warm hugs.

"Daddy!" Audrey immediately sprinted through the doorway towards Josh, who crouched down to wrap her up in his arms.

"Merry Christmas, Donna," Edith sat down several large bags of varying contents. "How's he doing," she asked softly.

A sad smile passed over Donna's lips. "Better this morning, I think. Having Audrey close by always helps."

Edith had noticed the changes in Josh too, but hadn't seen him in the last two days. Donna had called the previous evening to let her know that his session ran long and that he'd cut his hand but she didn't elaborate. She didn't have to.

"These need to go into the fridge," Edith busied herself with the contents of one of the bags. Donna gave her a hand as they both moved around the kitchen listening to Audrey's quiet conversation with her father in the living room. She'd asked what had happened to Josh's hand, immediately seeing the bandage. Josh deflected, telling her it was just a little cut.

"Careful, Daddy," she'd told him, mimicking his own advice to her on so many occasions.

Donna closed her eyes at the exchange, still not able to completely process what had happened to him two nights prior. She shook herself out of it and plastered a smile on her face, determined to make the morning a great experience for Audrey.

And before long the smile was genuine as the four of them crowded around her small kitchen table for breakfast.

"This is delicious, Donna," Josh complemented her. She smiled softly, just glad to see him eating a full meal.

"Yum!" Audrey chimed in. She'd learned months ago to take her cues from her dad and eat the healthy portions of Donna's cooking without protest.

Donna grinned at Audrey's enthusiasm. "Eat two more bites of eggs and then..." she leaned over conspiratorially, "we can go see if Santa Clause came to my house last night!"

Josh had never seen his daughter cooperate so quickly in her life.

Once the dishes were cleared Donna took Audrey's hand and lead her into the living room.

Audrey let out a small gasp as her eyes lit up when Donna pointed out the gifts under the Christmas tree.

Even Josh was stunned. They weren't there when he'd woken up and he wasn't exact sure when Donna had a free second to make the morning so magical for Audrey. He looked over at his mother, a normally put together woman, who on this particular morning had driven across town in a pair of snowman pajamas to celebrate Christmas in Donna Moss's apartment.

Just another testimony, he thought, to prove there truly wasn't anything they wouldn't do for Donna. She was family.

They all made their way to the living room and sat down, Josh and Donna on the couch, Edith comfortable with her cup of warm tea in the armchair.

Audrey planted herself under the tree next to the pile of gifts wrapped in red and white paper, eager to begin opening them.

"We start with the stocking," Donna informed her as she picked up the overflowing red and white stocking from the window sill and moved to her seat, Audrey trailing attentively behind her.

"Now?" Audrey asked eagerly.

Josh stretched his uninjured arm out across the back of the couch where Donna was seated and made himself comfortable as Audrey crawled in next to them.

"Go ahead," Donna offered her approval and watched on as Audrey pulled out a multitude of small treasures. Donna had been collecting tiny gifts for Audrey for months, prepared to fill her stocking and have something to open each night of Hanukkah.

Between small trinkets Audrey pulled out snacks and candies, many of which were favorites of Josh. He reached down and selected a peanut butter cup from Audrey's mounting pile and popped it in his mouth, giving Donna's shoulder a soft squeeze as he watched his daughter in all of her excitement.

Edith snapped a few photos but mostly she sat quietly and observed her son. Audrey eventually came bounding over to her, showing off a small toy.

Donna stood and refilled the coffee mugs and grabbed a juice box for Audrey before returning to her spot next to Josh on the couch. "Sweet Pea, why don't you see what else is under the tree?"

Audrey hopped up and ran over to the tree, grabbing the biggest box.

"That one is for you. From Santa," Donna told her, making her way over to sit next to Audrey. "Go ahead and open it."

Audrey, with help from Donna, tore into box after box, unearthing a few clothing articles, several books and a few educational toys.

"Those are pretty neat, huh?" Josh leaned forward and spoke to Audrey, winking at Donna in the process.

Audrey nodded eagerly, already playing with her new items.

"I think there is something under the tree for Daddy, too," Donna reached for a box tucked away under the tree and handed it to Audrey to deliver to Josh. Josh's face lit up the moment he removed the lid of the box to find a coffee mug hand painted by Audrey.

Donna had taken her to a paint your own pottery location last week and Audrey created a gift for her Dad. It was an art project that only a parent could love and Josh adored it, beaming with pride. He gave Audrey a huge hug of thanks and smiled at Donna in the process.

They spent the morning exchanging gifts and chatting while Audrey played with a few toys. Donna stood and slipped into her bedroom, returning with two aspirin that she discreetly slipped to Josh. He gave her a sad smile of appreciation, wondering how she knew that the slight throbbing in his hand was beginning to increase.

Edie helped Donna in the kitchen while Audrey played quietly at the table and Josh took a short nap. Donna knew he desperately needed the sleep.

"Come here, I need your help, baby girl."

Audrey hopped up at the sound of Donna's voice and hurried over, standing on her tip toes and trying to see what was happening. Donna popped her up onto the counter to sit next to a pie crust, showing her how to pinch the edges. Audrey smiled brightly when Edith and Donna praised her work.

"When does Uncle Toby get here?" Audrey asked as Donna wiped down the counter.

"Any minute," Donna assured her.

Because Hanukkah and Christmas overlapped that year Donna had invited Toby over for dinner. Edith was making dinner while Donna had been in charge of the morning's festivities.

Josh woke from his nap at the sound of the knock at the door, shuffling in to Donna's room to change into jeans and a sweater.

"Uncle Toby!" Audrey threw her hands up in an exciting greeting as soon as Donna opened the door.

"Hey kid," he bent down and gave her a high five.

Audrey bounced around Donna's apartment. There was no shortage of sugar in her system.

"Hey, Toby. Thanks for coming," Donna enveloped in him in a warm hug.

"How is he today?" Toby had barely slept the night before, thinking about the pain his brother was in.

Donna gave him a sad smile. "Better. He's going to get better."

Toby squeezed her hand and gave her a small nod. And with that small gesture she knew that Toby would do everything within his power to make sure that Josh received the support and care he needed.

"Edith," he changed his focus, his voice livening up a bit. Well, as lively as Toby ever was. "A pleasure to see you as always. It smells wonderful in here."

"Ah, Tobias." Edith welcomed Toby with a hug and a kiss. He was family, too. "I hope you're hungry."

The five spent their evening together in the most pleasant of company, all of them throughly enjoying the holiday meal and all that came with it. As the evening wore on Toby said his goodbyes and headed back to his apartment. He had an early meeting the next day.

Edith and Donna finished cleaning up and made a pot of tea. Donna clicked through the channels on the television until she found White Christmas on TV. She grabbed a warm blanket and sat on the couch next to Josh, pulling Audrey onto her lap.

"This is my favorite Christmas movie," Donna told her, going into detail about how her family always gathered around the living room with mugs of coca to watch Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby serenade them for ninety minutes.

Audrey watched contently for a few moments before dozing off. Donna pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. And it wasn't long before Donna found her eyelids heavy as well.

"I'm leaving, Joshua," Edith whispered as she placed her hand on her son's cheek. He was beginning to doze too, Donna wrapped in his arms and Audrey snuggled in close to Donna, a long forgotten Christmas movie playing softly in the background.

"Night, Ma," Josh whispered, perfectly content in his surroundings and not whishing to disturb anyone else. "Thanks for everything today."

"Of course," she leaned down and kissed his forehead, taking in the scene in front of her. "I love you, son. No need to thank me. I'm here when you need me."

Josh gave a small, sad smile of appreciation.

Edith placed her hand on Josh's cheek, watching as he held Donna and Audrey close, Donna's face nuzzled in close to the crook of his neck. "And Joshua?"

"Hmm?" He glanced up to her.

Edith met his eyes, glancing pointedly towards Donna. "Get a grip."

Josh was speechless, watching his mother silently make her way from Donna's apartment into the cold winter night.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey Shortcake. What are you drawing?" Josh stood behind Audrey, who was coloring contently at Donna's desk, an extra chair pulled in as Donna typed a memo.

"It's the ocean, Daddy!" Audrey stood and Josh picked her up to hold her close. "The… The… Pacific Ocean!"

"It's very pretty," he assured her. "Did you learn about fish at school today?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded enthusiastically.

"But did you learn to make a fish face," he asked her, squeezing his own lips to mimic a guppy.

Audrey erupted in a fit of giggles and a big smile. "You're silly, Daddy."

Josh continued to make a fish face at Audrey, adding a little 'glug glug' sound effect. It wasn't long before Audrey joined in, making fish lips back at Josh.

Donna stood and walked to the file cabinet to double check a statistic, a warm smile on her face as she watched the exchange between father and daughter.

"Fishy Kiss, Daddy!" She turned to him and brushed her puckered lips over his.

"Fishy Kiss, Donna!" Donna was given the same treatment, stopping as she walked by with a file.

"Okay, now Daddy and Donna, fishy kiss!" Audrey clapped her hands lightly. They obeyed Audrey's order without thinking, simply turning to each other and brushing their lips together. But something in her eyes drew Josh in. Before he could even think about it he reached forward and gently cupped her jaw in his hand. The pull was magnetic, and all he wanted was to really kiss her. He leaned forward, tilting his head slightly, until Audrey broke the spell.

"My turn again! Fishy kiss, Daddy!"

Josh started slightly, and Donna quickly looked away, fidgeting nervously. It was a good thing the bullpen was empty.

Donna quickly made her way back to her desk and busied herself. She knew her face was flushed. Her heart was still pounding. She'd certainly felt something, and she wondered if he had too.

Josh watched her walk back to her desk, swaying a bit. He was weak in the knees and felt a little delirious. He mentally kicked himself but he also knew that it wasn't a good idea to kiss his assistant in the bullpen. And it certainly wasn't a good idea to kiss Donna in front of Audrey. She'd ask questions to which he didn't have the answer.

"Daddy!" Audrey was tapping insistently on his shoulder, still trying to get his attention. "Can we go to the 'quarium, Daddy?"

"Aquarium," Josh corrected her pronunciation. "And we'll see."

"Please," Audrey bat her eyelashes a few times at Josh and used her sweetest voice. "Pleeeease, Daddy?"

"Did you ask Donna?" Josh and Audrey both turned to look at her.

Donna glanced up from the memo she'd been typing to see both of them looking at her with eager anticipation. "I think you have a few free hours this weekend. You can work it in tomorrow morning," she smiled.

"Alright, I guess so," Josh told Audrey, who was still happily sitting on his hip before whispering conspiratorially. "And maybe some chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast."

"Joshua…" Donna gave him a warning tone as she went back to her typing.

"Okay, okay. We'll have some eggs, too."

She shook her head, a smile still on her face as she clicked print and spun around in her chair. "You've got a meeting in the Roosevelt Room in five minutes. You should be done in no more than a half hour," she told him. "Audrey and I are going to walk this memo down to Leo's office an then call in everyone's dinner order. We'll meet you in the Briefing Room for State of the Union practice?"

"Kay," he told her before turning his attention back to Audrey. "You going to hang out with Donna for a little while?"

She nodded her head yes.

"Be good," he kissed her forehead and put her down, heading off to his meeting. "And talk Donna into going to the aquarium with us in the morning while I'm gone."

"Kay," Audrey grinned.

"Not fair, Lyman," Donna called after him. "You play dirty."

"Oh, Donnatella," he turned and bounced on the balls of his feet, a smirk crawling across his face. "If only you knew."

OoooooO

"Can you show Margaret how you can count to ten in French?" Donna asked Audrey as she held her hand.

Audrey complied, rattling off the numbers as she fidgeted in place a bit. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix."

"That's very good," Margaret stated with a serious face.

Audrey stood a little taller and looked up at Donna with a proud smile.

"Do you know why the French only eat one egg for breakfast?" Margaret continued.

"Why?" Audrey tilted her head a little bit and asked Margaret with genuine curiosity.

"Because one egg is un oeuf."

Audrey stared blankly at Margaret for a moment before turning her gaze back to Donna in curiosity.

Donna gave Audrey a knowing smile and swayed a bit, bumping her softly. "It's a joke, Sweet Pea."

Audrey grinned and let out a soft little giggle, still not understanding the joke but following Donna's cues.

"So, anyway," Donna began after a moment, "here's a copy of the memo Leo requested. We're going to head back and order everyone's dinner and I'll see you for the read through?"

"Sounds good," Margaret filed the memo away. "See you guys later."

"Excuse me, Miss Margaret?" Audrey was attempting to use her best manners.

"Yes?"

"Is Papa Leo in there?" Audrey pointed to the Chief of Staff's closed door.

Margaret nodded her head in affirmation. "Yes, he is. He's with Admiral Fitzwallace and Nancy McNally. Do you know who they are?"

Audrey looked curiously at Donna.

"I don't think you've ever met them before. But we'd better not interrupt Papa Leo's meeting."

But before Donna could even finish her sentence Margaret was on the phone. "Audrey Lyman is here to see you."

She sat the receiver back in the cradle and nodded to Audrey. "He will see you now."

Audrey, once again, looked up to Donna.

"Go on in," Donna confirmed. "Best behavior, please."

Audrey quickly made her way to Leo's door and reached up for the knob, letting herself into the office. She was over to Leo like a bolt of lightning, throwing her arms around her neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Papa Leo!" She exclaimed. Leo was most certainly on Audrey's list of favorite people.

"Heya, Smiley. What's new?" Leo's gruff facade faded quickly as he grinned at the toddler.

Donna couldn't help but to smile herself as she watched on from the door frame as Audrey climbed onto Leo's lap.

"Papa Leo, the ocean is dirty and it's bad for the fishies."

Nancy McNally stifled a smile. The little girl was pitching her agenda to the Chief of Staff and she didn't even realize it.

"Well, that sounds very important. We will have to see what we can do about that," Leo told her.

"I can write my name!" Audrey's face lit up, excited by her own announcement and pleased with her new accomplishment.

"Let's see it," Leo popped her up to sit on the edge of his desk and sat a pen and paper in front of her." His attention was now entirely focused on Audrey. The Chief of Staff wasn't afraid to put his meeting on hold.

She concentrated intently, her tongue sticking slightly out the side of her mouth as she stared at the paper. "A..." she narrated as she carefully drew each line. "U...D...R...E...Y...L...Y...M...A...N."

"Excellent work!" Leo beamed with pride.

"Ah, a little Lyman," Fitzwallace chuckled. "That explains so much."

OooooooO

"Uncle Sam, guess what?!"

"What?" Sam pivoted in his chair and leaned over with a huge grin, immediately stopping what he was doing to give Audrey is full attention when she walked through the doorway into his office.

"I get to stay here tonight and help!"

"You do? Well aren't we lucky," Sam grinned. The entire West Wing had been high strung all week and the preparation for the State of the Union was only adding to their stress. A visit from Audrey was always a welcome distraction to the Senior Staff.

"We're taking dinner orders, Sam," Donna chimed in from where she leaned against the door frame. "What would you like from District Deli?"

"Turkey club, please," Sam replied. "And a cup of whatever the soup of the day is."

"I'm having grilled cheese, Uncle Sam," Audrey offered as she climbed into his visitor's chair.

"Are you picking up dinner?" Charlie peeked into Sam's office to ask Donna.

"District Deli," Donna confirmed. "Put you down for a meatball sub?"

"Yeah," Charlie confirmed. "Extra cheese."

"Hi, Charlie," Audrey greeted from where she sat.

"Hey, Little Bit," he walked over and Audrey gave him a low five.

"Oh, Donna, if you have a second CJ said she wanted to order something too. She's in her office," Charlie added. "See you guys later."

"Alright, kiddo, let's go." Donna instinctively reached down to fix Audrey's hair, re-clipping the small lavender bow that matched her outfit.

"Uncle Sam?"

"Hmmm?"

"What does lather mean?" Audrey looked at Sam curiously.

"Lather?" Sam glanced up from his laptop at the odd question, trying to figure out how to explain the definition. "It means sudsy. Like what soap does when you wash your hair."

"Oh." Now Audrey looked completely stumped.

"Why?" Sam was curious. So was Donna.

"Cause Daddy said Uncle Toby would be… working in a lather tonight."

Sam laughed, softly and just once at first and then increasing in volume and frequency. "Work himself into a lather? Yeah, that's probably an understatement." Sam shook his head, glad for the distraction, stifling his continued laugher when he saw Donna's face.

Donna bent down to Audrey's eye level. "What are our rules, Audrey Joan?" She asked very softly.

"Be kind, be safe and don't fib."

"That's right," Donna agreed. "And that is not a very kind thing to say."

Audrey's eyes widened in regret.

"I know you didn't know what it meant," Donna continued without missing a beat. "And it's always okay to ask Uncle Sam a question, or to talk to me or Daddy. But in the future let's not say that, okay?"

"Okay," Audrey responded softly. "I'm sorry, Donna."

"It's okay, Sweetie. You didn't know." Donna stood and took Audrey's hand. "And Uncle Sam knows a lot of cool words, doesn't he?" Her voice became chipper again, swinging everyone back into a good mood.

Audrey nodded eagerly.

"He was a good person to ask," Donna commended Audrey for that. "But waive goodbye and we'll see him at dinner. Thirty minutes in the Roosevelt Room, Sam."

"Bye Uncle Sam," Audrey called, skipping along beside Donna.

Sam just smiled and shook his head as the two walked away. He was fairly sure that his best friend was oblivious to the fact that Donna loved both Josh and Audrey with her whole heart. Sam just hoped that Josh would decide to let her.

OooooooO

Audrey sat in a chair in the briefing room, coloring intently as Senior Staff mingled.

The side door opened and the President stepped inside, the latest draft of the State of the Union in his hand.

Audrey quickly sat her coloring aside and scrambled to her feet.

The little girls proper use of protocol wasn't lost on anyone in the room, particularly the Commander in Chief himself.

"Good Evening, Miss Lyman," he smiled.

"Hello, Mr. President," she greeted him confidently.

Josh and Donna exchanged little glances with each other, both of them proud of the way Audrey carried herself without instruction.

"Will you be assisting us this evening?" He leaned forward to speak to Audrey.

Audrey nodded her head. "Yes."

"I see. And just what is your assigned job for the night?"

Audrey didn't hesitate. "To color. And eat my apple slices."

"Very good." The President stood up and put on his glasses. "It's about time we got some decent help around here."

President Bartlet wandered over to Leo as Senior Staff grabbed their notepads and settled into their spots with stopwatches.

"Did you see that?" President Bartlet whispered to Leo. "Do you suppose that Donna's been working with Audrey on protocol? It feels a little odd to have her feel like she has to follow those kinds of rules. She's so little."

Leo glanced over at his surrogate granddaughter. "Mr. President, I doubt she's been forced into standing when you enter the room. That little girl is just very bright. She watches and absorbs everything. She's the best of Josh and Donna combined."

"Yes, I'd imagine you're right about that. You know, sometimes I forget that she's not actually Donna's daughter."

Leo gave a crooked smile. "Who says she's not, Mr. President?"

President Bartlet glanced over to see Donna situating Audrey with a few activities and a snack, kissing her on the head as she gathered the files Josh needed her to review. "Well, touché."

He took the podium and began to read from the prompter, the agreement being that he'd make it through each section once, and then they'd each begin to argue their relevant points on that particular topic. He paused at the end of the environmental portion of the speech, removing his glasses off and perching on a stool behind the podium for feedback. "Alright," he took a drink of water. "Seaborn, start us out."

Sam read over his notes on the section, most of which were met with unanimous agreement.

"Very well," the President nodded. "Ziegler?"

Toby outlined some notes about pausing for emphasis but stopped short of critiquing the content of the speech as he'd drafted that portion himself.

"Lyman?"

"Turtles eat trash but it's bad for them so that's a reason why we can't litter," Audrey stated all at once, never looking up from her coloring book.

Josh's head spun over to Audrey, his eyes widening. This, he supposed, is why he didn't make a habit of carting Audrey along to staff meetings.

"Oh, thank God," the President softly muttered.

"Sir?" Josh looked up, curious.

"Were just all so relieved that she takes after Donna instead of you," President Bartlet smirked.

"Believe me, Mr. President," Josh smiled and smoothed Audrey's curls. "No one is happier about that than I am."

OooooooO

"I wouldn't believe it unless I'd seen it with my own eyes," CJ slid into the empty seat next to Josh as the President took a short break for a drink of water. "But Toby is sharing his pie."

Josh raised his eyebrows in interest, glancing behind him to the rear portion of the room where Toby had been quarantined during State of the Union practice. And there, on the seat next to Toby with her own plastic fork, sat Audrey. She was swinging her feet and grinning wildly, a smear of cherry pie on her face, eating directly out of a pie tin.

"Don't let Donna see you doing that," Josh called out.

Toby cleared his throat. "Thank you for that piece of obvious information. Neither I nor Audrey were born yesterday," Toby replied, passing the pie tin over and holding it while Audrey scooped another bite.

"You've been warned," he smirked, returning to his notes.

OooooooO

Josh leaned back in his chair as far as he could, craning to see. He finally made eye contact with Ginger and summoned her over with a jerk of his head. Audrey was sleeping soundly in his arms.

"Grab Donna, will you?" Josh whispered.

Ginger nodded and exited the room and it was only moments before Josh felt Donna's presence as she silently slid in next to him.

"She's out," Josh stated in a soft whisper, stating the obvious.

"I'll take her home," Donna responded just as quietly, brushing Audrey's curls out of her face as she slept peacefully against Josh.

President Bartlet, mid speech, watched the scene in front of him unfold. "Let's call it a night," he announced out of the blue causing everyone to look around. "We've all had a long week. And the only person in this room who has agreed with everything I've said tonight is asleep. See you guys tomorrow."

Josh and Donna gathered their respective things and Donna slipped Audrey's jacket over her for warmth.

Josh loaded Audrey into her car seat and Donna deposited both backpacks in the backseat floorboards. Audrey stirred slightly as Josh clipped her in, eyes fluttering over to Donna.

"Shhhh," Donna softly cupped her little cheek. "Go back to sleep, Sweet Pea," she whispered and Audrey did that, leaning slightly into Donna's hand.

Josh and Donna closed their doors as stood on opposite sides of the car.

"Goodnight," she offered over the roof of the vehicle.

"What?" He furrowed his brow. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Home? The President said we could all leave."

"Yes, and how do you plan to get there?"

"The Metro..."

"I don't think so. Get in the car."

"Josh. Audrey's asleep. You need to get her home."

"I need to get you home first. No way are you taking the Metro this late."

"But I-"

"Donna!" He looked somewhat terrified.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and climbed in to the passenger seat. Of course, it gave her a warm fuzzy feeling when he did stuff like this. It made her feel cared for. Loved, even. She just had to keep reminding herself that they are just friends. Of course he worried about her- He worried about everyone.

She thanked him politely when he pulled up in front of her building and waved to him just before she closed the door as softly as she could manage.

He waited until he saw the light in her apartment flip on and she passed in front of the window.

As he pulled away he looked in the rear view mirror, back at the still sleeping Audrey.

"One of these days, Audrey, taking her home is going to mean taking her to our home. I just don't know when."


	16. Chapter 16

"Go play, shortcake," Josh zipped Audrey's jacket just a little bit higher. 

"Will you come with me?" She looked at him wide eyed and hopeful. 

"I have to talk to Uncle Sam," Josh informed her. "But look," he nodded towards the merry go round, "all of those kids are playing together. Why don't you go over and make a new friend?"

Audrey bit her lip and looked towards the merry go round, stepping over a little closer to Josh and softly shaking her head no. "Donna said I'm not suppose to go on that," she informed him. 

Josh sighed. "Well, it's okay this time since I'm here."

Audrey looked up at him with wide eyes and blinked a few times, considering what he was saying, before she ran off to play. 

"What does Donna have against merry go rounds," Sam asked. 

Josh shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. She's always telling me stories about getting scraped up as a child. I think she was just a clumsy kid. She's got those long legs, you know?" 

A sly smile creeped across Sam's face. "Oh, I know. Do you know?"

Josh furrowed his brow and shot Sam a glare. 

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm just asking a question. I'm not the one with the photo of my assistant on my desk."

"It was Audrey's first day of school! It's a good photo!" Josh was getting defensive, and rather indignant. 

"It's a great photo," Sam commented, amused at the fact that he'd managed to get a rise out of Josh. 

Josh looked the other way and muttered a few choice words under his breath. But before either of the men could continue their conversation Josh saw a blur of a hot pink jacket out of the corner of his eye and heard Audrey's cry. His feet were moving before he knew it, scooping her up and depositing her on a park bench where he crouched in front of her, trying to figure out what was wrong. 

"Where's it hurt," he asked, softly, brushing her curls out of her face in a moment of love and patience Sam rarely witnessed from Josh. 

Audrey held her hand out to Josh and picked up her left leg to indicate pain. 

He quickly determined that aside from light scrapes on her knee and palm, Audrey was fine. The fall from the spinning merry go round had just startled her more than anything. 

"Okay, Shortcake," Josh picked her up to tote her to the car. "You're going to be fine, but let's go home."

She clung to him and he softly rubbed her back, whispering quiet words of reassurance as they walked. Audrey's cries had softened but still didn't subside completely until they reached his car. Josh buckled her into her seat and Sam slid into the front. 

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, kiddo?" Josh glanced into his rear view. 

"You and Uncle Sam are going to be in trouble," she stated. 

"What?" Sam piped in, turning to look at Audrey in the back seat, her eyes still puffy and her cheeks tear stained. 

"Why?" Josh questioned. 

"Cause," Audrey continued, "Donna will be mad that you let me get hurt."

Sam's eyes widened and Josh's eyebrows shot up. "It's not that I let you get hurt..." he muttered. "It was an accident."

Sam shifted in his seat a bit. "Maybe you should drop me off at my place on the way?"

Josh smirked. "Afraid?"

Sam didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Josh chuckled outright, making a left turn into his neighborhood. "You can run, Sam, but you can't hide."

OoOoOoO 

"Ok, kiddo. Do we need anything else?" Josh held Audrey's hand and a shopping basket piled with essentials. 

"I need lipstick," Audrey stated confidently. 

"Lipstick?!" Josh was somewhat horrified. 

"Yes." Audrey stood tall. "I'm out of lipstick."

"You're... out?! When did you have lipstick to begin with?"

Audrey rolled her eyes. "I wear lipstick, Daddy. I'm a lady."

Josh's jaw dropped. "Well... we're not buying lipstick."

"Hmmph," Audrey stuck her bottom lip out. 

Josh just shook his head and walked to the cashier, completely befuddled. He'd have Donna explain it to him when they got home. 

And when they arrived back at his apartment Donna was already there, waiting for them. 

"We're home," Audrey announced in a singsongy voice. 

"I'm in the kitchen," Donna responded. "Don't throw your backpack on the floor," she added for good measure, causing Audrey and Josh to exchange guilty glances with one another and both pick up their respective backpacks and hang them on their designated hooks. 

"It smells great," Josh grabbed a beer and leaned against the fridge, loosening his tie. 

"Thanks," Donna beamed. "It should be ready in 20 minutes. Go get changed."

He didn't think much of the fact that Donna had already changed out of her work clothes and was sporting a comfortable outfit she kept in the bottom left drawer of his dresser. He handed her his beer and she took a drink, stirring the sauce and watching Audrey play in the living room out of the corner of her eye. Josh continued to speak to her, recalling his last meeting with Leo and something that he'd heard CJ mention as he wandered into his bedroom to toss on some sweats. 

When he rounded the corner to return to the kitchen he stopped in the doorway and stood quietly, watching Donna and Audrey. 

His daughter handed Donna her art project from school that day and Donna oohed and ahhhed over it before hanging it proudly on the refrigerator. Donna then bent down to eye level with Audrey and removed the bow that she'd placed neatly in Audrey's hair that morning before gently pulling her soft curls into a pony tail. 

"What did you learn at school today?" The question, Josh knew, was standard practice between Audrey and Donna. 

"Mmmmm..." Audrey thought for a brief second. "Math."

"Oh really? And what about math did you learn?"

"Patterns," Audrey said distractedly, looking at the rolls rising for dinner inside the oven. 

"Give me an example of a pattern," Donna requested. 

Audrey thought for a moment before reaching out to softly touch the beads on Donna's necklace. "Purple, blue, white, purple, blue, white, purple, blue, white," Audrey repeated. 

Donna smiled. "Very good."

"Donna?"

"Hmm?"

"I need lipstick."

Donna smiled softly. "Okay," she stood, grabbing her purse and pulling out a stick of chapstick. 

Audrey watched on in awe as Donna took the cap off and gently applied the chapstick. "Stop biting your lip and it won't be so chapped," Donna told her, popping the cap back on as Audrey lightly smacked her lips together. "All better."

"Your turn!" Audrey stated excitedly, taking the chapstick and applying it very liberally to Donna's lips. Donna puckered up in a very animated fashion and Audrey grinned wildly, showing her tiny dimples as she proudly surveyed her work and letting out a satisfied little giggle. 

"How do I look?" Donna asked Audrey. 

"Beautiful," Josh responded breathlessly from the doorway. Even he was shocked to hear his response out loud, intending only to internalize his thoughts. 

Donna and Audrey both turned to look at him, Donna emitting a nervous laugh and looking at the floor while she stood, fumbling with the cap on the chapstick and placing it back into her purse. 

OoOoOoO 

"I have a situation." CJ stated with a scratchy threat before she leaned on Donna's desk and took a sip of tea with lemon and honey. 

"Oh?" Donna was listening but continued with her task, in a hurry to finish her project. 

"It's Leo's birthday. And we've all been so busy planning for the state dinner tonight that it... slipped all of our minds."

"I sent a card," Donna commented. 

CJ wasn't surprised by Donna's admission. She was able to juggle two dozen things at once, keep Josh Lyman in line, run the DCOS office and remember everyone's birthday. "Well, be that as it may," she let out a little chuckle, "the rest of us forgot. So I ordered a cake and we're all going to meet in his office later and sing." CJ smiled widely. "He'll hate it."

Donna chuckled too. "Okay, so what's the problem?"

"I'm loosing my voice so we need to find someone else to lead the singing," CJ coughed lightly. "Can anyone around here carry a tune in a bucket?"

"Josh can," Donna offered absentmindedly, never looking up from what she was writing. 

CJ stopped what she was doing. "Josh?" She gave a little laugh at the thought. 

Donna glanced up, a blank look on her face. "Yes. Josh has a beautiful voice. It's low and flawless." And it always cut straight to her soul, she thought. 

"Well," CJ considered Donna's words. "Okay." She drummed her fingers on the desk a few times. "How do you know that?"

Donna gave a soft smile. "He sings Audrey to sleep. When she was a baby and she was crying in the middle of the night he'd pull her close and sing softly but in this rich baritone and he'd sway. It was the only thing that would get her back to sleep."

CJ couldn't help but to smile too. "Okay. Well, when the time comes we'll all follow Josh's lead."

Donna nodded her head, putting her memo away and heading off to get changed. 

She returned a few moments later in a floor length gown, her makeup flawless and her hair pinned back loosely. She held her cell phone to her ear, saying very little to the caller on the other end of the line. 

"Donna!" Josh sat the receiver of his phone down as he heard the soft click of her heels entering the bullpen. The phone line at his mother's had been busy all three times he'd tried to call. 

He grabbed the bow tie off of his desk and wandered into the bullpen to find her putting on earrings while continuing to speak into the phone. 

"Uh huh.... uh huh... okay. I have to go now, Sweet Pea. But here's Daddy. I love you," she handed him the cell. "Your turn," she smiled. 

Josh grinned. Of course Donna was on the phone to Audrey. If anyone was tying up the lines it was those two. He took the phone from her and listened to Audrey speak for a moment. "Time for bed, Shortcake," he told her, checking his watch after a few minutes. "I love you. Hang up the phone and take it back to Bubbe."

Josh closed the phone and sat it on Donna's desk before holding up his bow tie with a smile. Donna stepped closer to him, looping the fabric around his collar and letting her fingers find the familiar rhythm. 

The dinner was well underway, senior staff coming and going to handle an escalating situation in the Philippines but for a brief moment Josh and Donna found themselves alone as she completed the last loop on his tie, swaying a bit. 

"I love this song," she stated, listening to the music filtering in through an open door as she gave the bowtie a final tug. 

"So dance with me," he asked before he could think about it. 

"What? Here?" She looked around a bit. 

"Yeah. Why not?" He was treading into the unknown, his heart pounding in his chest. 

She blushed slightly, her eyes soft and welcoming when she met his gaze. 

He took both of her hands with his, backing into his dark office as she followed, secluding them from the open air of the bullpen. 

The music was barely audible but Josh didn't care. The room was illuminated only by the lights filtering in from the bullpen and the streets, and when he lead her into the shadows he found the courage to indulge himself and pulled her close. He wrapped his arms low around her waist, his hands grazing across the soft skin of her almost backless dress. 

Donna's hands snaked around his neck, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. She let herself melt into him, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes, taking him in. 

She'd never known it possible to be so perfectly at peace in a room with air so electrically charged. They didn't speak of this cosmic force between them, but in moments like this they couldn't help but to be swept up in it. She doubted so many things about how she interpreted her relationship with Josh. She didn't know how a man like Josh could possibly have feelings for a woman like her. But in the dark of the room, swaying together in perfect unison, it became almost undeniable. All she could conclude was that he was attracted to her, but he didn't want to be. 

Josh moved to rest his head against hers, burying his face in her hair and breathing deeply, his thumb caressing her lower back. He moved to whisper in her ear, telling her how beautiful she looked and how incredible she was. His lips brushed against her temple and he paused for just a moment resting his face against hers. 

"Donnatella..." he whispered breathlessly. 

"Josh..." she responded breathlessly.

"JOSH!" CJs voice rounded the corner from the corridor of the bullpen. "It's birthday song time!"

Donna jumped away from Josh on reflex and bit her lip, looking away as though she was afraid. 

He was devastated. Everything he knew screamed that he shouldn't kiss his assistant in his office. But this was Donna. The woman he thought about all hours of the day and night. The woman he cared for more than he ever knew possible. The woman that he wanted by his side every second of the day. He held on to her hand, not wanting the moment to end just yet. But Josh realized the moment was broken. He gave her hand a soft squeeze before letting her go. 

CJ peeked around the corner to the DCoS office and took in the scene before her. "Oh. Uh, well... whenever you're ready is fine." She hesitated for a moment. "I'm just going to... uhh... go..." she hooked her thumb over her shoulder. 

"We should join everyone else," Donna stated softly, not looking at him. 

Josh cleared his throat, thinking perhaps she was trying to let him down gently. And as much as he wanted to pull her close again and kiss the breath out of her lungs he knew he didn't want to do anything to hurt her, or to damage their relationship. He wanted her in his life, and if he had to settle for the role of friend rather than lover just to have her in his life at all, he'd do it. "Yeah," he told her in a rough voice, "I'll catch up to you in a minute."

Josh closed his eyes and took a deep breath, regaining his composure before he stepped into the bullpen. Whatever this was- he needed to figure it out.


	17. Chapter 17

"H'lo," she mumbled a muffled greeting into the phone, pulling her pillow onto her face. She didn't know what time it was but she certainly wasn't prepared to wake up. 

"Donna?" A soft voice and a little whimper came through the phone. 

"Audrey?!" Donna shot bolt upright in bed, flinging the pillow across the room and already rushing to get up and find her shoes and purse. "Sweetheart, what's going on? Where's Daddy?" A million worst case scenarios raced through Donna's mind. 

"I'm right here," Josh's voice came through the phone, which was obviously on speaker, a little scratchy but strong. 

Donna slowed down but continued to gather her things. She let out a deep breath of relief. "Oh, Josh. Thank God." She placed her hand over her pounding heart. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"We're okay, Donna. It's not an emergency." 

She shoved a few things into a bag and grabbed her purse, heading out the door. 

"Didn't mean to startle you," he croaked out. He could hear the panic in her voice. "But we're both just a little under the weather."

"I'm already on the way over."

"Donna it's 4:45 in the morning," he chuckled, listening to her racing around on the other end of the phone. "You don't have to rush over here."

"I'm already in the cab," she told him, moving the speaker on her cell phone away from her mouth to give the driver Josh's address, and tell him to hurry. 

"But we could be contagious. You shouldn't-"

She heard Audrey interrupt with a grumble in the background. "I want Donna," she reiterated in an unusually grumpy tone. 

"I know you do." Josh's patience too was wearing thin. Donna could tell he was borderline exasperated. 

"How long have you two been up?" Donna was almost afraid to ask. 

"Couple hours," Josh admitted somewhat sheepishly. 

"Josh! Why didn't you call me?"

"It was the middle of the night, Donna! I can handle it!" Now he was getting testy. 

"Donna! I want Donna!" Audrey repeated. She was right on the verge of a meltdown, an anomaly in the Lyman household. 

"I'm almost there," Donna reassured her. "Josh? What are her symptoms. Should I stop and pick something up?"

"No!" Just blurted out a little too quickly. "I mean, please. I'd just rather you get here. I'll run to the pharmacy later this morning."

Donna sighed as Josh continued. 

"She just has a mild fever. She can't sleep and she's cranky."

"No I'm not," Audrey insisted. 

"I gave her some Tylenol before bed last night."

Donna's eyes widened. Last night?! This has been going on since last night

"And what about you, Josh?" She asked with soft concern. 

"I'm fine," he grumbled. But she could easily tell he wasn't. 

"Okay," she told him softly. "We'll see about that. I'm pulling in. I'll be right up."

Donna paid the driver and grabbed her bag, practically running up the stairs. 

He was standing there, Audrey in his arms in the open doorway to his apartment waiting for her. Audrey immediately leaned out to reach for her and Donna pulled her close, seeing the tears in Audrey's eyes. Audrey clung to her. 

"You're okay," Donna told her, kissing the top of her head. "You'll feel better soon."

It was obvious to Donna that Josh hadn't looked in a mirror lately. Sure, he was exhausted and clearly under the weather. But there was something else too. 

He was immediately relieved to see her, even if it did strike him as odd that his assistant had just taken a cab in the early morning wearing pajamas and a fleece pullover and sporting some serious bed head. She was, Josh decided, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 

She let out a little laugh, biting her lip as her face changed. 

"What's so funny?" He asked, not at all amused with her ability to find humor in the situation. 

She stepped forward and placed her hand on his cheek, thumb grazing across his stubble with a gentle sympathetic smile on her face. "Joshua Lyman, you have the chicken pox."

His eyebrows shot up to his hair line as he looked down, carefully examining his arms. 

She moved her hand near a spot on his neck that was now home to a red bump, then giving a soft tug to the neckline on his tshirt to reveal another. She lightly directed him to turn around and she inspected his back.

Audrey watched on, pulling her pajama top up a bit to peer curiously at her own tummy. 

"Uh-oh," she stayed, poking her finger at a spot. "Donna, I got one too!"

"I see that," she told her, moving towards the couch. 

"How does she have the chicken pox?!" Josh was completely flummoxed. "Didn't she have the vaccines? We haven't missed any." Josh carefully examined Audrey's legs, forgetting his own illness completely. 

"She had one as a baby. The next booster is scheduled for the summer before she starts kindergarten."

"What?! Why didn't we move that one forward when she started preschool?"

"There was a lot going on at that point," Donna's stomach did a backflip just thinking about the reason Audrey had to start preschool early. "I'm so sorry, baby girl," she sat Audrey down on the couch, tears welling in her eyes. 

"It's okay, Donna," Audrey consoled her. "Don't cry."

Josh placed his hand lightly on Donna's shoulder, chest welling with guilt at the thought that he'd just implied this was her fault. "Donna, I didn't- that's not what I meant," he stated softly. 

"I know," she grabbed his hand with hers. "Okay," she strengthened her voice, standing up. "I'm going to run to the drug store. I'll be right back."

"No!" Audrey looked panicked again. 

"Audrey..." Josh warned. But honestly, he wasn't thrilled about Donna leaving for an errand either. 

Donna smoothed the little girls curls. "I'm coming right back," she promised, glancing at the clock. "You can turn on Mr. Rogers and I'll be back before it's over, okay? And then we can all have breakfast. But I need to go get a few things so you and Daddy feel better. Okay?"

"Okay," Audrey consented with a pout, sticking her lower lip out. 

Josh half rolled his eyes. He knew exactly where she'd adopted that trait. 

Donna hurried to the pharmacy, grabbing the items that she knew she'd need and making her way back to Josh's place as fast as she could. She called Leo's office on the way, leaving a voicemail explaining the situation and letting him know that Josh would call in for senior staff and Donna would be in the office to pick up some things to work on at home and forward their phones. 

"I'm back," she announced, and Audrey was off the couch and to the doorway with record breaking speed. Donna immediately picked her up. She didn't care how big Audrey was getting, her little girl didn't feel good and she was going to tote her around if that's what she needed. 

"I made you some coffee," Josh told her, taking the bag from the drugstore out of Donna's other arm. 

"Thanks," Donna told him. "Don't scratch," she added as Josh absentmindedly itched his left arm. 

Donna dug through the bag, placing several products on the counter and then feeling Audrey's forehead for a fever. It was still mild. She moved over and did the same to Josh, who was burning up. 

"Okay," she let out a breath, trying to get a handle on things. "Josh, take this," she handed him a bottle. "Two of them with a piece of toast," she instructed, popping in a piece of bread and grabbing a cup of milk while she continued to tote Audrey around. "They're on the list of approved OTC meds from your cardiologist. We'll call when the doctors office opens and ask if they want to see you. Meanwhile, you have a senior staff call in 5 minutes." 

She grabbed the toast when it popped and lightly buttered both slices, placing one on a plate for him and cutting Audrey's into quarters before giving her a bite, and following it with children's antihistamine and fever reducer and carting Audrey off for an oatmeal bath. 

"This is yucky." Audrey scrunched up her nose in displeasure after only a few moments, looking up at Donna as she held her arms out of the oatmeal bath. 

Donna sighed. She had a point. "I know. But we've gotta do it. It'll make you feel better," Donna explained. 

"But... why?" Audrey blinked up at her. She was miserable. 

"Because," Donna sat down on the edge of the tub, "you won't itch so much afterwards. It's oatmeal so it's good for your skin."

Audrey still wasn't amused with the entire situation but she said nothing, resigned to her fate for the moment. Though she wasn't nearly as sick as Josh, it was apparent that Audrey wasn't feeling her normal self and had no interest in any of her bath toys. Donna grabbed a towel and sat it on the lip of the tub for Audrey to rest her head. Donna brushed Audrey's hair out of her face and spoke softly, telling her a story. 

"You know," she began, "I had the chicken pox once."

Audrey glanced up at her, barely moving. "You did?"

"I did," Donna nodded. "I was about your age."

"When you lived in Wisconstin?"

Donna smiled at the extra letter in Audrey's pronunciation. "Yes. When I lived in Wisconsin. It was cold and snowy and I was stuck inside all itchy and sick while my brothers and sister played in the snow."

"Did my Grammy Moss take care of you?"

"Yes, she did." Donna smoothed Audrey's hair. 

"Like you take care of me and Daddy?" Audrey's eyes fluttered closed. She was fighting sleep but losing the battle to the antihistamine. 

Donna gave a soft smile. She always hoped she gave Audrey and Josh the type of loving care she always received from her mother but hearing it from Audrey in her own words choked her up a bit. She leaned over and gave Audrey a kiss on the forehead before draining the tub and getting Audrey situated in a pair of soft pajamas. 

"Here's Walter," Donna handed Audrey her stuffed bunny before picking her up. "Do you want to lay down in your room or Daddy's room?"

"Daddy's, please," she requested using the manners that Donna had instilled in her since before she could talk. 

Donna made her way to Josh's room, handing Audrey over to him as he wrapped up his call with Leo. She grabbed the bag from the drugstore and made her way back into his bathroom, running him a bath and adding the oatmeal. 

"What are you doing?" He whispered at her, trying not to wake a now drifting Audrey. "No, not you Leo," he said into the phone. 

"I'm running you an oatmeal bath," she told him.

"I'm not taking an oatmeal bath!" His voice went up several octaves as he held the phone away from his ear to speak to her, wanting to ensure the senior staff didn't get wind of this conversation. 

Donna shot him a look that left very little room for argument. 

"...or maybe I am taking an oatmeal bath," he muttered after seeing her face. 

Josh returned his attention to the call once again, listening to Leo wrap up the meeting and send his staffers on the way. 

"Donna will be in later to pick up a few things," Josh advised him. 

"Great. I’m sure she’ll take care of everything," Leo told him, sorting through a stack of memos. "Oh, and Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget your rubber ducky." Leo was smirking in his office. 

Josh groaned and ended the call, sure he would never hear the end of this. 

And as much as he hated to admit it, he did feel considerably better thirty minutes later when he rinsed off and stepped out of the tub, patting his irritated skin dry as Donna had instructed him. 

He slipped into a pair of pajama pants and cracked the door to see Audrey sound asleep as Donna watched over her protectively. 

"Are you just watching her sleep?" Josh asked quietly. 

Donna nodded her head that she was, in fact, doing just that. "Don't you?" She wondered. 

"I do," he added quickly. "I just didn't know that you did."

"It's calming," Donna stated plainly, tucking a blanket around Audrey before she carefully stood. "Now," she looked at Josh. "Calamine lotion time."

Josh's shoulders slumped but he knew better than to argue this time as Donna grabbed the pink bottle from the nightstand and lead him back into the master bathroom. He peeled his shirt off following her instructions and stood as she gently daubed the pink lotion on each of the spots they had appeared on his body. 

He flinched the first time, surprised at the temperature of the solution. 

"What?" She asked, worry in his eyes. 

"It's cold," he admitted somewhat sheepishly. 

Donna leaned forward and blew gently on the spot, her warm breath hitting him and sending chills all through his body. 

"Uh," he cleared his throat, trying not to completely lose his composure and shifting his weight from foot to foot somewhat awkwardly, "actually... never mind. It's fine. I'm fine."

Donna raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at him but said nothing of his reaction, continuing with the calamine lotion and shifting the topic to a recap of his call into the senior staff meeting. 

She screwed the cap back on the bottle when she was all done, moving in front of him and placing her hand on his forehead. "You're still warm," she announced. "Let's go call then cardiologist. Someone should be in the office by now."

"We don't need to call the cardiologist for every little thing," he whined. 

She could tell he was going to argue with everyone and everything this morning. He was always somewhat of a petulant child when he was running a fever. 

They slipped past a still sleeping Audrey and Donna grabbed the thermometer and placed it in Josh's ear, waiting for a reading. Everyone else thought the ear thermometer would be a great tool for Audrey, but the reality of the situation was that the toddler would sit still and cooperate if asked but Josh couldn't stop squirming around and running his mouth long enough for Donna to get an accurate reading. So, yes, she thought. The technology was a lifesaver. 

"101.8" Donna announced with a frown. "Maybe we should go-"

"No!" He interrupted. "I'm a grown man. I can handle a little fever."

"But Josh I just think that-"

"Donna, please. I'll call the cardiologist but I'm not going anywhere. I'm fine. Really."

She bit her lip but relented. She'd choose her battles today. 

Settling in to his dinging room table she called the doctor and left a message with the answering service to speak to the cardiologist as soon as he arrived. She then began some quick internet research on chicken pox and fevers in adults. Was she over reacting. 

Midway through her reading she heard Josh shuffle over from the couch to stand behind her, reading over her shoulder as his fingers absentmindedly played with her hair. 

"Rash, fever," he read out loud, muttering the side effects of the virus in a bored tone. "Headache, aches and pains, STERILITY?!" He almost gasp, his voice shooting up two octaves. "Donna! Do you see what that says?!" His face was scrunched up in abject panic. "It could make me... I could be..." he waived his hand around, completely flustered. "You know...!"

"Sterile?" She offered, trying to suppress a smirk at his reaction to the rogue possibly. 

"Yes!" He ran his hands roughly through his hair. "It's not funny, Donna!"

"I'm sure you'll be fine. You're very virile, Joshua," she placated him. The article clearly stated that the chances of that were slim to none, but Josh hadn't bothered to read that far before panicking. 

"But what if I'm not. And then I can't..." he trailed off before he finished the sentence. He realized at that he'd come very close to uttering the phrase 'what if WE can't have more kids.'

"Do you want more children?" Her voice had soften. She was no longer kidding around. 

"Well... yeah." His tone matched hers. "I mean, maybe not tomorrow but... if I had a, you know..." Josh gulped, suddenly feeling nervous. "Wife."

"Right." Donna's heart beat quickly in her chest. "Well, I'm sure everything will be fine," she deflected, feeling the tension rising in the room. 

"Yeah," he agreed, wishing she hadn't broken their gaze. 

"Besides. You're already the luckiest dad in the world. You have this little pumpkin," Donna added in an overly chipper voice, glancing around Josh and opening her arms for Audrey, who wandered down the hall and climbed directly into Donna's lap. 

"Well that didn't last long," Donna gave Josh a smile. Audrey had never been big on naps. 

Josh just chuckled. 

Once Audrey was situated on the couch with a video and Josh was reading briefing memos next to her Donna slipped out to grab a few things from the office and check in with Leo. 

She grabbed the folders she needed and placed them into her oversized bag, thumbing carefully through the stacks of items on Josh's desk. Donna’s intent was to slip in and out of the office as quickly as possible but as word quickly spread of her arrival, she ended up being in the White House for nearly an hour. Several staffers dropped by with files for Josh’s review, requests for Donna’s opinion and well wishes for Audrey. There was no doubt that the little girl was loved by all. 

She gathered her bag and locked the door to Josh’s office behind her, turning around and almost bumping into Leo.

“I heard you’d stopped by,” he stated. “How’s the patient?”

“The baby’s a little fussy,” Donna stated, shifting her heavy bag, “but Audrey’s taking it like a champ.” She let herself smile at her own joke.

Leo smirked. “That doesn’t shock me at all.” He reached out and took her bag, walking with her to the front doors. “You’ll let us know if you need anything?”

Donna nodded that she would.

“And Edith was already scheduled to be back from Florida on Sunday evening?”

“Correct,” Donna confirmed. “Josh will be back in the office on Monday morning.”

“Abbey said you can call her at any time. Same goes for me. You’re a good girl, Donna.” He rest his hand on her shoulder and paused for a moment, letting the sincerity of his words sink in before waving down Larry to carry Donna’s bags to her car. 

She picked up lunch on the way and once she arrived back to Josh’s apartment she was pleased to find the man himself on the phone to the doctor. He ended the call shortly after her arrival, assuring her that the cardiologist didn’t foresee any complications with they way they’d proceeded with medications that morning, and to keep on the same course for the time being. Audrey had immediately found her way back onto Donna’s hip and Audrey silently rest her head on Donna’s shoulder as she moved around the kitchen putting their lunch onto plates. 

After a small lunch and another round of medication, Josh and Audrey were both dozing off again. Much to Donna’s surprise they both agreed to relocate to Josh’s room, Audrey quickly passing out snuggled in close to Josh as he faded out while CSPAN played softly in the background. 

Donna covered them both with a blanket and moved a little closer, feeling Josh, mostly asleep, wrap his arm around her and pull her close. Life may have thrown them another curve ball, but she’d make sure they were all find in the end. She always would.


	18. Chapter 18

"Leo gave us the night off." He sat against the edge of her desk and slouched.  
Donna looked Josh over skeptically. "He... did?"  
"Yeah. It's odd, right?" Josh stared down the corridor towards Leo's office. There was something going on and he knew it. But he couldn't figure out precisely what, and he wasn't in the room just yet.  
"Very," she told him as she closed the file she was working on. "But who am I to judge?" The sound of a night off was music to her ears. She was absolutely exhausted and wasted no time gathering her belongings.  
"What are you doing?" Josh raised his eyebrows.  
"I'm leaving?"  
"Oh." He fidgeted with the small cup of paper clips on her desk.  
She sighed sat back in her chair and placed her bag down. "We don't get the night off do we?"  
"You can go," he mumbled.  
"But you were going to ask me to stay," she added.  
"Well, I...," he picked up a paper clip and examined it closely, unsure of what to do with his nervous energy.  
She sighed. "Alright. I'll pick up something for dinner while you get Audrey. What do we need to work on?"  
"No. That's not what I meant. We have the night off. I was just going to see if you wanted to join us for dinner and the zoo."  
She smiled softly. "That sounds great, actually."  
"You don't have to," he continued. "If you have other plans-"  
"I want to," she supplied quickly.  
"Really?" He paused, still staring at the odds and ends on her desk.  
"Really." She couldn't think of a better way to spend her evening.  
Josh looked up at her, a full dimpled grin on his face. "Okay."  
"Let's get moving," Donna stood. The zoo is only open for 2 more hours and she's going to want to see the panda bears. You know there's always a line."  
Three hours later as Josh walked down the streets next to Donna, who was holding a very happy Audrey after a trip to the zoo and dinner, he promised himself he'd take more evenings off. This, he thought, was his happy place.  
OoOoOoO  
"You changed." It tumbled out of his mouth as soon as he saw her. It was a knee jerk reaction.  
She glanced down at herself, clad in a pair of flannel pajama shorts and an oversized sweatshirt she'd pilfered from his dresser, and then slowly turned to look at him, a curious expression on her face. "Yes. I did." She was making enchiladas for dinner with Audrey and didn't want to ruin her work clothes. They had a stack things to do for Leo, who was wound as tightly as Toby lately.  
"But the sweater looked nice."  
She raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Not that you don't look nice now," he fumbled, already mentally kicking himself. "You do. You look nice. But it's a different kind of... nice."  
"I see..." she stood up and leaned against the counter top, crossing her arms and just waiting for him to continue his rambling.  
"I mean, I liked the purple sweater. That's all. Well, okay, not just the sweater. But the way you wore the sweater, I suppose. No. Wait. What I mean is-" Josh's face flushed red.  
"Josh?"  
"Yes." It came out an octave higher than normal.  
"Stop talking."  
He nodded his head vigorously in agreement. "Probably for the best," he muttered.  
She smiled at him. "And thank you," she added. She was becoming well versed in how to speak the language of Joshua Lyman and she knew how to take his failed attempted at a complement.  
OoOoOoO  
"Donna! I'm back! Get me on the phone with the majority leader's office... now." Josh started bellowing orders as soon as he zoomed into the bullpen from his meeting at the airport.  
"Josh." Donna hopped out of her chair and fell into step with him.  
"Also pull the justice department's expenditures for the last five years."  
"Josh, I-" Donna tried to interrupt him, fidgeting a bit as she matched his stride.  
"And then grab any statistics we have on tobacco use in teens."  
She scribbled a quick note.  
He rounded the corner into his office, mid yell. He was intending to tell her to have Larry pull a report on the Senators who taken contributions from big tobacco but his words died on his tongue as he practically screeched to a halt, Donna fumbling into him from behind at the unexpected stop.  
"Hi, Daddy!" Audrey looked up from where she was coloring in Josh's visitor chair.  
"Hi," he walked over and examined her closely, reflexively putting his hand to her forehead to check her temperature. "What are you doing here?" He asked, smoothing her curls as she went back to what she was doing.  
"Coloring." Audrey thought it was obvious.  
That got a chuckle out of an otherwise stressed Josh. "And why are you coloring in Daddy's office instead of at school?"  
Audrey looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. She had no idea but wasn't at all upset by the change in scenery.  
Josh glanced over to Donna for an answer.  
"I picked her up," Donna tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and shifted nervously. "I hope that's okay."  
"Of course it is," he responded immediately. "But... why?"  
Donna shot him a look, trying to explain that she didn't want to spell it all out. "Because of... you know... the thing."  
"What thing?"  
Donna gave him another exasperated look. "The thing… From the memo."  
"Huh?" A look of understanding suddenly crossed his face. "Oh. The satellite?! Donna," he sighed. "Close the door."  
She did so, standing with her back nervously against it. He hadn't been himself all week. There was something bothering him. Something he couldn't talk to her about. "I'm sorry," she blurted out, wondering if she'd overstepped. "It's just- I thought that if something happened she'd be safer here. With us."  
"Come here," Josh motioned Donna over towards him and wrapped her up. "I'm not mad. You know that right? But Donna the sky isn't falling," he smirked. "We get that fax once a week. Debris fall out of the sky all the time. They've never hit anything."  
Donna blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed at her overreaction. "Oh. I just thought..."  
"I know," he gave her an extra squeeze. "And you protected her. Thank you. It's one of the many reasons you amaze me," he kissed her temple. "But the sky isn't falling and it probably wouldn't go over too well if the whole country found out we hide Audrey in my office at the first sign of disaster."  
Donna shrugged. "Some things are more important than bad press," she ventured a look at him.  
"Yeah," he met her gaze. He'd been coming to that realization himself.  
OoOoOoO  
Donna tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress a yawn.  
"Ready to call it a night?" Josh smirked, finding her absolutely adorable.  
"Only if you're done," she answered.  
Truth be told, he'd had at least two more hours of things to do. But she was exhausted and he probably needed some sleep before his morning meetings.  
"Let's go," he announced, grabbing only the bare minimum he'd need to be home for a few hours, and clicking off the lamp on his desk.  
She stood in his doorway waiting for him, reaching into her purse and checking the clock.  
"Late for something," he quipped.  
"Just calculating how long I'll have to wait for the train," she yawned, not thinking before she spoke. She as exhausted.  
He immediately went into over reaction mode, his eyebrows shooting up as his blood pressure skyrocketed at the thought of her taking the metro and walking the rest of the way home at this hour. "You don't take the Metro after 11! Donna! If you don't have your car and we are working this late, either I give you a ride home or you take a cab!"  
She looked away embarrassed, and all of a sudden something clicked. He hadn't seen her ugly old car in months. And Audrey had mentioned riding the train last week.  
"Donna," he advanced on her slowly, taking her arm ever so gently before she could scoot away, "where's your car?"  
She wasn't making eye contact, which was intensifying the feeling in his gut.  
"Donna?"  
"I sold it."  
"When did you sell it?"  
"A few months ago."  
"WHEN?" He can't help but raise his voice. She was obfuscating and he wanted answers.  
"August."  
"Why?"  
"I needed the money."  
His heart plummeted to his stomach. He knew the answer to the next question, but he's enough of a masochist to needed to her the answer from her own lips.  
"Why did you need the money?"  
He tilts her chin up, making her look him in the eye. Hers are bright with unshed tears."I had to take unpaid leave. I sold the car so I cover rent."  
Josh pulled her into his arms, crushing her to his chest. Was there anything she wouldn't do for him? Would he ever stop needing her? And HOW THE HELL COULD LEO LET THIS HAPPEN?!  
OoOoOoO  
"Sagittarius." She wasn't sure how else to tell him that she knew.  
The look on his face, however, wasn't what she'd anticipated. His concern for her, however, was evident in his response. Just as it was in practically everything he did.  
Donna assured him that she was fine. But just as Toby has warned her, there was no time to sit down and talk it over.  
"So, 9:00," she reiterated. "In the residence. Senior staff."  
He nodded his head.  
"I'll grab you some dinner. You're not eating or sleeping enough," she slipped it in just so she was sure he knew he wasn't getting away with anything. "And then you can head over to meet with Leo for a moment- he needs you at 8:15. And then you'll be in the residence most of the night. I'll head to your place and stay with Audrey so your mother can get some rest."  
He continued to study her face for a moment, before nodding his consent to her plan. He felt some of the weight come off of his shoulders as soon as she'd spoken the code word to him. If Donna was in the room, somehow things were always better for him. She had the ability to keep him grounded.  
She'd finished everything he'd need for the meeting that evening and handed him a to go container of grilled chicken and vegetables for dinner before heading to his place for the night.  
She'd sent Edith on her way and read Audrey a story before putting her to bed. Donna had only been sitting on the couch for a minute when she heard the front door unlock.  
"Josh?" She was surprised to say the least.  
He let out a deep sigh. "Hi."  
"What are you doing home? I thought you had a 9:00 with the President." She glanced at the clock as she spoke. It was only 9:03.  
He sat his backpack down and made his way over to her, motioning for her to sit back down on the couch. Josh perched on the coffee table across from her and took her hands, slowly explaining to her what had happened to Mrs. Landingham that evening.  
"Come here," he told her, moving to the spot next to her on the couch in one swift motion and opening his arms to her.  
She buried her face his chest and cried, Josh gently stroking her hair and whispering reassurances to her. He knew she'd had a rough day and he wanted nothing more in the world than to be able to comfort her.  
The loss of Mrs. Landingham hurt them all, but Donna especially had formed a close relationship with the President's secretary.  
Once Donna's initial tears had slowed, Josh tipped her chin up to look at her face. Her red rimmed eyes made something catch in his own throat.  
"I should go," she sniffed, feeling slightly self conscious under his intense scruitiny.  
Josh simply shook his head. "You're upset. Stay here. You can take a bath in my tub and then go right to sleep."  
She bit her lip, not sure how to interpret his offer but hesitated for only a moment before nodding her head in agreement.  
"Come on," he stood, placing his palm on the small of her back to lead her down the hallway. "I think I still have some of those fizzy bath products you bought under my sink."  
He wasn't always sure what to do, especially recently, but Josh knew if he could take care of Donna even half as well as she took care of him, well, that was a start.  
OoOoOoO  
"You two take that one," Sam nodded towards the large couch on the far wall. "It folds out."  
They'd been practically living at the White House for the last week. It was the middle of the night and Toby and CJ had retired to their respective offices to try or a few hours of sleep.  
Neither Josh nor Donna hesitated to make themselves comfortable on the pull out couch. Sam flipped the light switch off and passed out on the smaller couch while Donna quickly dozed off herself.  
In the dark stillness of the room Josh pulled her a little closer and tucked the blanket in tightly around her. Worked up and unable to fall immediately to sleep himself, he calmed himself by watching her lay peacefully next to him.  
All he'd wanted in his life was a career. He'd put everything else on the backburner through college and his 20's, sacrificing to get himself to where he was now. But lately Josh was having a hard time remembering why. He loved what he did, that was certain. And his loyalty to the President and Leo was practically unmatched.  
But Audrey and Donna had made their unexpected entrances into his life and now, in the still of the night with Donna curled into his side, Josh wondered if perhaps there was life outside the White House.  
If he was in the same position five years ago he would have been devastated at the thought of the President not seeking re-election. And though he knew that the current administration still had a lot to accomplish in office, a part of Josh knew he'd ultimately be okay with whatever answer the President would provide. And though he'd love the chance to help govern for another term, he couldn't help but to wonder how his own life would change if Donna didn't work for him. If nothing was holding him back.  
Josh softly kissed her forehead and shifted slightly on the pull out couch, vowing to get a little bit of rest. Aligning his breathing to Donna's, his heartbeat and anxiety both lowered and soon he too was drifting off.  
OoOoOoO  
"Donna?"  
"Yes?"  
"Is that a macaroni necklace?"  
"Yes..."  
"And you're wearing it here, to work in the White House."  
She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. "Audrey made it for me."  
"Well I assumed that much," he continued. "But I was just surprised you were wearing it to work."  
"I'm proud of it," she sat up taller. She'd intended to take it off that morning but she'd forgotten to remove it when she arrived at the office and the day had gotten away from her. "And you're one to talk, Mr. Deputy with the painted Mug." She glanced at the coffee cup in Josh's hand, painted in wild brush strokes and bright colors by Audrey herself.  
"Hey, this is art," he defended. "It's abstract! I think it's a commentary on the human experience," he smirked.  
Donna rolled her eyes and stood. "Let's go."  
"So... You're really wearing the necklace?"  
"Yes!" She was going to take it off as soon as they left the bullpen for the motorcade. But she wasn't going to admit that to him.  
She turned to look at him, intending to shoot him a glare but was instead met with a full dimpled grin.  
She followed him into his office where he grabbed his wallet out of his backpack and a folder from his desk. There was no need to carry along all of his belongings in the motorcade.  
The President had made his decision, and the interview was airing as they spoke. And now Josh would stand by him for whatever this press conference would bring.  
Donna leaned in the doorway and watched him move about, as she'd done so many times over the last years. This man, intelligent and driven, was in political operative mode. But no matter the mask he wore she knew he was going to take that night's events personally.  
She stepped forward, meeting him in the center of the room and placed her hand gently on his lapel.  
"No matter what happens tonight, I just want you to remember, Joshua Lyman, that you've done a lot of good for the world. And I'm proud of you." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly.  
And before he knew what to say she was back in professional mode, standing in the door to the bullpen waiting, ready to follow him into battle.


	19. Chapter 19

"You've got books for the airplane? And snacks?"

"Yes, Josh."

"What about a jacket in case she gets cold?"

"Yes, Josh."

"And Walter?"

"Josh." Donna reached out and placed a calming hand on his arm. "She has everything. You were there when we packed."

"I know," he looked a little sheepish. "I just-"

Donna caught his gaze. "If you're having second thoughts about this it's not too late to change your mind," she told him. 

"No," he assured her. "I want you guys to go and have fun. You need to see your family, too."

She wasn't completely convinced. "Joshua," she smoothed his lapel. "There's a lot going on right now...."

"I'll be fine," he told her in a voice that was meant to reassure both of them. 

"Oh yeah?" She teased, a playful smile tugging at her lips. 

"Well... probably not," he admitted. "And I'm definitely going to miss you."

She felt her face flush slightly, trying to remember that they were currently in a very public place. 

"But," he continued, placing a hand lightly on top of Audrey's head, "as much as I hate the thought of you guys being away for four days I still think you need the time with your family."

"You could always join us, you know," she offered playfully. She'd extended the offer to Josh when she'd initially asked him about brining Audrey, but it just wasn't in the cards. There was so much going on at the White House she could hardly believe that she was able to get away. 

Josh just chuckled. "Somehow I don't see my ideal vacation being the Moss Family Reunion."

"Awww... come on," she bantered back. "A weekend completely away from the news cycle, in the middle of the forest surrounded by a hoard of republicans. What's not to love?"

Josh grinned wildly at the playfulness of their conversation. But before he was able to toss back a witty retort he heard the announcement for their flight to board. 

"That's us," she told him. 

He took a deep breath and crouched down to eye level with Audrey. "You're going to have so much fun, Shortcake," he smiled at her. "Be good and listen to Donna, okay?"

Audrey listened intently, reaching for Donna's hand to clutch it tightly, signifying that she understood. Josh reached out and tucked one of her shoulder length loose auburn curls behind her ear. "You can call me any time, and I'll see you in a couple of days, alright?"

Audrey nodded her understanding, tilting her head to rest it against Donna's leg. "Love you," she told him. 

He opened his arms to her and she let go of Donna, giving him a big hug goodbye before resuming her prior position. 

Josh stood once again to face Donna. "That goes for you too," he smiled. "Have fun and be safe." He hated the thought of the two most important people in his traveling so far away from him. He reached in and gave her a hug too, allowing himself only a quick moment of indulgence in the airport. 

"You can call us anytime, too," she whispered, giving him an extra squeeze before letting go. 

Their flight information was announced again and they waived goodbye, making their way towards the gate. 

"Have fun," he called. "I miss you already," he whispered, though no one heard him. 

OoOoOoO

Donna and Audrey landed in Madison Wednesday afternoon, meeting her parents, Rick and Meredith, at the gate and chatting all the way to their condo. They were all leaving for the cabins in the Upper Peninsula the next afternoon, but since Donna was in town the family that lived close by was headed over for pizza. Donna hoped it would be a good way to ease Audrey into her big Italian family. She knew it would be a stark contrast from holidays with Josh and Edith. 

Audrey was briefly enthralled with the family photos hanging on the walls of Rick and Meredith's condo, showing Donna at various stages of childhood. 

"You look funny, Donna," Audrey giggled, looking at a photo of Donna at an 8th grade dance, blue eye shadow and big, crimped hair. "You were a little baby!" she exclaimed and grinned when Donna pointed herself out as an infant in a hospital photo. 

"Who's that?" Audrey asked curiously, pointing at another photo.

"That's Leslie," Donna explained. "She's my sister. And that's her husband Curt and their kids Preston, Paul and Paige," Donna pointed each of them out as Audrey stared at the picture. "They're coming over for dinner tonight. They're quite a bit older than you are though." Donna continued moving down the hallway covered with photos. "And that's my brother Mark," she pointed out. "And that's his wife Jenny and their kids Maddie and Tyler. You'll have lots of fun playing with them, they're closer to your age."

"What about Uncle Chris?" Audrey had met Donna's middle brother that winter when he'd become stranded in DC on a layover. 

"Uncle Chris will be here tomorrow," Donna assured her. "And who's that?" Donna asked Audrey, pointing to another framed photo and wondering if she'd know. 

Audrey's blank expression looked closely at the photo of the Bartlet for America campaign, Donna proudly propping up a curly haired infant in socks and a onesie. The smile slowly grew on Audrey's face with realization. "That's me!" She pointed at the photo. "And Daddy and Donna!"

After familiarizing herself with the condo, Audrey quickly took to Donna's father, already well acquainted with Donna's mother from her semi frequent visits to DC. 

The four of them made their way down to the play area for Audrey to burn off some energy before dinner. They'd only been playing for a few minutes when Donna's sister arrived with her three children. The large SUV pulled into a parking spot and three identical children hopped out and two of them ran over to the playground, shouting their hellos in passing as they made their way to the swings. 

"Mom said she'll be back later to pick us up," Preston stated as he made his way over to where his grandparents were seated and slouched down on a park bench. "She has a nail appointment."

Donna raised her eyebrows. She hadn't seen her sister in over two years, and she didn't even bother to get out of the car and say hello. "That's about right," Donna muttered at a volume no one else could hear.

Donna, who was standing next to Audrey as she rocked on a spring horse, greeted her nephew. "Come here and give me a hug," she beamed. Preston did so, somewhat begrudgingly. "You're getting so tall," she gushed. He rolled his eyes and shuffled back over to his seat, putting his headphones in almost immediately. 

Donna lead Audrey over to the swing set. "Hi, guys! It's so good to see you," she greeted Paul and Paige, who were already swinging as high as they could. "This is Audrey." 

"Hi!" Paige shouted at Audrey. "Aunt Donna did you bring us presents?"

"Audrey brought you something, didn't you Sweet Pea?" Donna deflected, knowing she packed five boxes of M&M's with the Presidential seal on them. 

"How did a baby bring us a present?" Paige scrunched up her face as Paul completely ignored the conversation at hand. 

"I'm not a baby," Audrey stated so softly it was barely audible. 

"I know you're not," Donna whispered back. "You're a big girl."

Donna led Audrey over to the side of the play set, watching closely as she climbed up the equipment and stood at the top of the slide, Donna waiting for her at the bottom. Audrey went up and down several times on her own before Donna suggested some joint activities. 

"Paige, why don't you play with Audrey on the teeter-totter," Donna suggested. 

Paige didn't hesitate to stop swinging and join Audrey, Donna carefully placing a hand on Audrey's back for added balance. The two went back and forth several times before Paige was bored, shouting, "Come on, Audrey," as she ran towards the small play house.

"Go on," Donna encouraged her, sitting down next to her mother to supervise the girls playing house from afar. 

After trying unsuccessfully to catch up with her nephews, Donna turned her attention back to her parents, asking her father about the baseball team he coached at the high school where he taught history. Baseball was a hobby shared by the majority of the members of the Moss family. Donna played softball through high school and her brothers were both all state in baseball, Chris going on to play college ball at UW and work in marketing for the Brewers. 

"Josh can't wait to get her started in tball," Donna nodded towards Audrey.

"Next year will be about the right age," Rick offered. "But I bet we'll have her raring to go by the end of the weekend," he shared a grin with Donna. The Moss family reunion softball game was a legend in its own right. 

"Let's head back up to the condo," Meredith suggested watching the playhouse intently. "Paige has the tendency to be a little bit on the demanding side and I think she's taking control with Audrey. Besides, Mark and the kids will be here any minute with the pizzas.".  
The three stood, Preston and Paul trailing behind, as Donna and Meredith collected Audrey and Paige. Paige threw a small fit, not ready to wrap up her playtime but finally relenting. 

"Fine," she stamped her foot. "Audrey, come on. We'll play school when we get up there. But I'M the teacher though. And you have to do whatever I say." 

"Paige!" Meredith was exasperated. "Don't be so bossy."

"But Grandma!" Paige protested. "Those toys are mine!"

"They're not," Meredith didn't seem surprised by this behavior and Donna wondered if it was more common than she knew. "They're for all of you kids."

"But Audrey's not even really in our family!" Paige crossed her arms in a huff. "She's a Lyman! My Dad said her Dad is the Lie-Man."

"Paige!" Meredith was mortified.

Donna felt a literal pain in her heart at the words. Audrey stared innocently at Paige. 

"Well! She's not!" Paige continued defiantly. "My Mom said! She's not Donna's!"

"That's enough!" Rick's commanding voice boomed through the small fit, stopping any coming words on Paige's tongue.

Audrey turned to look at Donna, big, wondering eyes filling with tears. 

Donna scooped her up and held her close, placing a kiss on her hair. 

"We're all family here," Rick stated, leaving no room for protest. "Every single one of us. Audrey included. And that's the end of the conversation. Understood?" 

"Yes," Paige mumbled.

"Ok. Let's all head back to the condo and get ready for dinner," Rick lead the three kids on their way, leaving Meredith to hang back for a moment with Donna and Audrey. Though they may not have fully understood the complexities of their youngest daughter's relationship with her boss, it was clear to both of them that whatever Donna, Josh and Audrey's dynamic, it made them all happy. And after several torturous years of watching their child with Dr. Freeride, they weren't about to question it when Donna had clearly found an unconventional family that made her happy, healthy and successful. 

"We'll be up in a minute," Donna waived her mother. "Thanks though." 

Meredith gave Audrey a kiss on the cheek, resting her hand on the little girl's back before doing the same to Donna. "Take your time."

Donna sat down with Audrey on a bench along the walkway and pulled her close. "Audrey Joan, do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes," Audrey replied.

Donna smirked a bit. "You do? Because it's an awful lot," she told her in a cheerful tone. "And no matter what anyone ever says to you I want you to know I'll love you the same even if we have different last names, okay? None of that matters. Some kids have a Daddy and a Mommy…"

"…and I have a Daddy and a Donna and a Bubbe and Papa Leo and Uncle Sam and Uncle Toby and Aunt CJ," Audrey supplied. She'd heard the list a million times before. 

"That's right," Donna confirmed, giving her a gentle squeeze. The two sat in silence for just a beat.

"Am I, Donna?" Audrey asked timidly. 

"Are you what, Sweet Pea?"

"Your family?" Audrey looked up at Donna, somewhat distraught. 

Donna found herself a little choked up as well. "Yes, Sweet Pea. You're still my family. You may not have grown inside my tummy but that doesn't matter. I still love you more than I ever thought possible."

"Daddy too?" Audrey asked innocently.

Donna relented for a fleeting moment, giving a soft smile. "Daddy, too," she confirmed.

And though Donna knew that Audrey's questions would become more frequent and more detailed as she aged, she was pleased that her answered seemed to suffice for the time being as she walked Audrey up to the condo for dinner. She'd sit Josh down whey they got home and they'd figure this out together. But before that, Donnatella Moss was going to give her sister a piece of her mind.

 

OoOoOoO

"I thought we were going shopping with my Grammy Moss," Audrey half whined as she lagged behind Donna, shuffling her feet as Donna held her hand and led her across the parking lot and into a Starbucks. 

"We are, Sweet Pea. But we're on vacation so I'm going to buy myself a latte first."

They entered the coffee shop, Donna sliding her sunglasses to the top of her head and cherishing the fact that she wasn't in a rush. 

Donna placed her order, adding a small milk for Audrey. 

"And a cookie?" Audrey looked cautiously optimistic. 

"No cookie. It's 9 in the morning, Audrey."

Audrey grumbled a bit, twisting the toe of her shoe, a sure sign that she was disappointed. 

"Donna? Donna Moss?"

Donna turned at the sound of her name. "Mark Fuller!" She gave the man a warm greeting as he moved closer to her, giving her a hug hello. 

"It's been what... ten years?"

Donna nodded in agreement. "At least that long. How are you?" She was honestly glad to run into an old friend. 

"I'm great. How about you? You look fantastic." Mark casually lead them over to a set of chairs and took a seat as he caught Donna up on his successful dental practice and charity work in the community, mentioning several times that he wasn't seeing anyone. 

Donna's name was called by the barista, and as soon as she stood to retrieve her order her cell phone rang. She dug around in her purse for a moment, glancing at the screen before handing it to Audrey. 

"It's for you," Donna gave her a little smile, heading to the counter to grab their drinks.

"Daddy?" The little girls face lit up as she flipped the phone open. 

Mark paid no attention to Audrey, instead focused on the way Donna looked in a small pair of shorts. 

Donna made her way back, placing the straw into Audrey's box of milk and peeling her banana, taking the first bite before sitting the rest on a napkin. She could hear Audrey recalling every detail of their morning on the phone call, so she turned her attention back to Mark. 

"Hey, do you ever see Megan Miller anymore? Doesn't she live here?"

"She married my brother, actually," Mark responded. 

Donna continued some polite banter before her sixth sense kicked in and she tuned back into Audrey's conversation with Josh. 

"...and we're going shopping with Grammy Moss later but right now we're at Starbucks. Donna wouldn't let me have a cookie for breakfast. But we're having a banana and she's talking to somebody."

There was a brief moment of silence as Audrey listened closely and considered whatever Josh was asking her. She turned her gaze to Mark and stared at him before responding to Josh. "I don't know his name, Daddy. He's one of Donna's Gomers."

"Audrey!" Donna couldn't believe it. She held her hand out and Audrey gave her the phone. 

"Joshua, I will deal with you later," she said tersely into the speaker before flipping the phone closed. "Audrey, that is not nice! What has gotten into you?"

Audrey looked properly chastised, and somehow unaware that she'd made a faux pas. "I'm sorry," she whispered, the timid side of her coming out in full force as she slid out of her seat and walked over to Donna, who didn't waste any time pulling Audrey onto her lap. "Donna? I'm sorry," she repeated. 

Donna nodded her understanding. "I know you are."

It was only a brief moment before Donna's cell phone rang again, Josh's caller ID on the screen. Donna silenced the call, intending to return it as soon as they were back in the car. 

"Well, I've gotta head out," Mark stated. "Good to see you, Donna. And nice to meet you...."

"Audrey." Donna supplied. 

"Audrey." Mark repeated. Donna could tell he was about to ask her to dinner. "I run into your brother from time to time. I didn't realize they'd had another," he spoke directly to Donna, referring to Audrey. 

Donna's phone let out another screech from Josh. She glanced at it and bumped it to silent again. "Oh. No, they didn't. She's not my niece."

Donna's phone buzzed again and she handed it to Audrey who began to open it to say hello to Josh, who was currently losing his mind at the thought of Donna talking to a Wisconsin gomer instead of taking his call. 

"She's... yours?"

Donna saw Audrey stop what she was doing and turn attentively to wait for her response from their earlier conversation, her big brown eyes giving her the same lost puppy expression that her father let slip on occasion. 

"Yeah," Donna answered with a smile. "She's mine."

XxXxXxX

A/N: Wisconsin Pt. 2 to follow shortly!


	20. Chapter 20

"Almost done," Donna assured Audrey as she rubbed the sunscreen on her face. 

"Where are we going?" Audrey squirmed a bit, looking around their room inside the cabin. 

"We're going to pick blackberries," Donna reminded her. 

"Why?"

"Because they're yummy," Donna smiled at Audrey's curiosity. 

"Why don't we buy them from the store?"

Sometimes Donna forgot how vastly different her childhood was from Audrey's. "Well," she tried to explain, "because they're wild so they taste better. And this will be fun," she assured her. 

And an hour later Audrey was having the time of her life, giggling and running around with Donna's nieces and nephews while the Moss family picked blackberries. 

Donna watched Audrey zoom around playing tag with Maddie the older kids, stopping to pick a few berries and put them in her little bucket every few minutes. At the end of the morning everyone was exhausted and happy. And though Audrey's bucket only contained a small handful of berries, the little girl's purple stained face and fingers were proof enough that she'd enjoyed her morning. 

The rest of the day was a whirlwind. They swam in the lake in the heat of the afternoon all of the uncles treated the kids to a popsicle on the dock. It was laughter and smiles all around. 

After dinner everyone gathered by the water once again for the fishing tournament. Prizes went to the biggest fish, most fish caught and first fish caught.

It was only a few moments before Audrey yelled for Donna after she saw her bobber dip into the water. She’d won the first fish award on the little pink pole that Donna bought her the day before. Chris helped her reel it in and held the small sunfish up for her to see. Audrey made a disgusted face and pulled her hands away, retreating as much as she could into her life jacket. 

Donna chuckled, knowing exactly where she developed her squeamish habits, and snapped a photo. Josh was going to get a kick out of this.

OoOoOoO

“Uncle Chris, I’m hungry.”

“Good Morning, Kiddo,” Chris greeted Audrey with a smile and pulled a tall chair to the counter where he was standing, lifting Audrey up so she could see what was going on. “We’re making pancakes for breakfast.”

“You are?” Audrey perked right up.

“Sure am,” Chris smiled in confirmation. “Do you like pancakes?”

Audrey nodded enthusiastically. “I love pancakes. Donna makes them for me. That’s how she got her secret name.”

“Her secret name?” Chris furrowed his brow in confusion. 

“Uh huh,” Audrey swung her feet gently and looked around the room, carrying on what she thought was a casual conversation. “From when my Daddy hurt his heart.”

Chris softened at the mention of the previous summer. He remembered vividly the conversations he’d had with Donna when she was clearly on the brink of falling apart at the sheer thought of what had happened to Josh. It had been his first real insight to the true nature of his little sister’s complex dynamic with her boss. He was extremely close with Donna and could easily tell that she had something special with Josh. And although he'd only met the man in question twice, he could clearly see that Donna's feelings were anything but unrequited.

“Where is Donnatella?” Chris asked, scanning the area. 

“Talking to Grammy Moss,” Audrey supplied with a giggle.

“What so funny?”  
“Only Daddy calls her Donnatella!”

Chris smirked at the little girl’s reaction. “Okay,” he laughed, knowing that was true, “Then can I call her Pancake?”

“Noooo,” Audrey giggled. “Only my friends call her that.”

"Oh and I'm not your friend?"

She wrinkled her nose adorably. Chris swore she learned that particular facial expression from Donna. "You're my Uncle Chris! Only my friends that talk into their wrists call her Pancake.”

She put her little wrist to her mouth and imitated the Secret Service agent’s she’d become accustomed to during the previous summer. "Pitbull, Polliwog and Pancake are in for the night."

Chris laughed out loud. "Is your Daddy called Pitbull?"

"Yes."

"And who is Polliwog?” He teased, already knowing the answer to his question.

“I am! You're silly Uncle Chris.”

“All names that start with a P,” Chris mumbled out loud. He knew a bit about the Secret Service and was mulling this information over in his mind.

“We have the same letter,” Audrey commented, “because we’re a family.”

Chris couldn’t help but smile. “Yes you are,” he agreed. “And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

He helped her down from the stool and took her little hand. “Now, let’s see if we can find some chocolate chips to sneak into these pancakes.”

OoOoOoO

"Okay, Audrey," Donna bent down to her eye level. "You're up to bat."

They were dressed in matching Moss Family Reunion shirts with their names on the back taking part in the annual baseball game. Donna tightened the laces on Audrey's shoes as Audrey pushed a loose curl from her face. 

Rick grabbed a plastic bat and ball and walked in closer to Audrey as Meredith readied her camera. Playing in their first family game had been a rite of passage for all of her grandchildren and Audrey was no different. 

"Okay, Sweet Pea. Grandpa is going to throw the ball. Swing the bat just like we practiced and if you get a hit, run to Uncle Chris." Donna pointed to her brother, who was playing first base, and helped Audrey position and hold the plastic bat. 

Audrey concentrated as Rick gently tossed the ball. She swung with all she had and hit the ball. It was a standing rule in the game that if one of the kids got a hit on their first at bat, it was an automatic home run.

"Donna!" She hopped up and down, "Donna, I did it!"

Donna beamed at her. "Run to Uncle Chris!" She pointed towards first base. 

Audrey dropped the bat and took off running as fast as her little legs would carry her. 

Chris, who was cheering wildly at first base, crouched down to give her a high five and then sent her on to Donna's cousin Scott at 2nd base. Audrey was beaming as she rounded third to Mark's cheers and she kept going as she practically leaped into Donna's arms at home plate. 

"Home run!" Donna shouted as Meredith snapped photos right and left. "You did it!"

"All by myself!" Audrey added proudly. 

Donna and Audrey made their way back to the lawn chairs and blankets that housed the rest of the extended family as the next batter came to the plate. 

"I wish Daddy could be here," Audrey stated after a few sips of lemonade. "Daddy likes baseball."

"He will be so proud of you," Donna smiled. 

"Well, maybe he can join us next year," Meredith piped in with a knowing grin. 

"Yeah," Rick added with a smirk from several yards away. "Tell Josh he's not getting out of this again. I need a third baseman!"

Leslie rolled her eyes, unable to believe that even her parents were encouraging Donna's ridiculous crush on her boss.

OoOoOoO

Donna sat on the porch swing outside the cabin where Audrey was napping. The chain links made a squeaking sound as she rocked back and forth. 

"Hey," Leslie made her way up the three stairs and paused hesitantly a few feet away from Donna. "Is she okay?"

Donna nodded her head. “It’s only a scraped knee," she stated flatly. "She was just over tired. She's napping now."

Leslie nodded her head in understanding. "I snagged a couple of drinks from Aunt Linda's stash," she offered her a bottle. 

Leslie made her way over to the swing and sat down, taking a sip. The silence between the sisters was stifling. 

"Look, Donna, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Donna's voice was cold. She knew what Leslie was referring to but she wasn't going to accept that kind of apology yet again. Leslie had been getting away with insincere lines like that one for decades. 

"For, you know," Leslie struggled, "For upsetting Audrey. It was never my intention for Paige to hear or repeat any of that. I really felt bad when Dad told me what happened."

Donna rolled her eyes. "So you're sorry for upsetting Audrey. But not for actually thinking all of those things about her. And about me."

Leslie let out an exasperated sigh. "This is not why I came over here," she admitted with an edge of distress in her voice. "We've never been able to talk to each other, Donna. And so far that hasn't been any different as adults. But I was hoping we could work on that."

Donna glanced over at Leslie, still somewhat skeptical but willing to hear her out. 

"You always do this."

"Do what?" Donna was automatically on the defense. 

"You get a crush on someone totally inappropriate and then they take advantage of you. You supported what's-his-face all through his residency and he dumped you. And here you are, babysitting your bosses' daughter on a holiday weekend."

"Don't EVER suggest that Josh is taking advantage of me when it comes to Audrey. It was my idea to bring her to our family reunion because I love that little girl like she's my own. And that's never going to change. No matter what happens between me and Josh." Donna's tone left no room for argument. She'd take a lot of flack from her family- she was pretty good at it by now. But she wasn't going to stand by while Leslie spoke out of turn about Audrey and Josh. 

The two glared at each other for a moment, Donna's jaw set in determination. 

"I came over here to apologize," Leslie started again, considerably Less flustered this time, "for my preconceived notions about you and Audrey. You're really good with her, Donna. And anyone with eyes can see that she thinks you hung the moon."

"Thank you," Donna relaxed a bit, some of the tension seeping out of her muscles. 

"And I know you love her too."

"I do. More than anything." Donna smiled softly and leaned back against the railing on the porch. She was willing to listen to try and mend fences with Leslie in a civil manner. 

The two embraced the silence for a moment, staring off at the horizon. 

"I worry about you." It was a simple statement, but it was the last thing Donna was expecting to hear. 

"Why?"

"Because! You're a thousand miles away in a dangerous city. From what Mom says work nonstop and it seems like you have no time for a social life. Donna, your boss was shot because he happened to be standing in the wrong place! Of course I worry! We may not be that close but God, Donna, I still love you."

Donna closed her eyes, swallowing hard at the causal mention of Rosslyn. 

"I love my life in DC," she managed to choke out, checking her emotions. "I'm happy there. I do work a lot, but it's a normal part of the job. It's the most important work I'll ever do. As for the city, honestly, i work in the most secure building in the nation and when I travel for work I'm surrounded by secret service. You can't stop living your life out of fear. And as for my social life, well, I may work a lot but you really have no idea, Leslie. My best friends are some of the most important people in the federal government. And they've become family. I may not have time to meet up with the girls from high school every week for manicures and a glass of wine but I do have lunch with CJ Cregg every Wednesday."

"But Donna, it could end at any moment. You could be unemployed in a year and then where are you? Single and without a job in DC with a stain on your record from working for an administration that lied to the voters? Don't you want a husband? Some stability? A family?"

"I'm not even going to get into it with you about the MS, Leslie. But the President is a good man and I'd be honored to vote for him for a second term. And god forbid he lose the election, Josh is still a major player in the party. He gets job offers every week. We'd be fine."

"We?" Leslie shot her a questioning glance. "Is there something else going on there? Oh, God, Donna. Are you sleeping with your boss?"

"No!" Donna was enraged. "He's my best friend, Leslie. There's nothing inappropriate going on. I just- I know I can trust him. He won't just leave me in a lurch. That's all." 

"And you've had this conversation? That he'll hire you as an assistant at his next job?" She looked skeptical. 

Truth be told, they hasn't. Donna hadn't really slowed down to think through the logistics of any of this but there was clearly no explaining the complexities of her life in DC or her relationship with Josh, so she squared her shoulders and blurred the truth. 

"Yes. We have."

"And you're just going to follow him around for the rest of your life hoping something will eventually happen between you two?"

Whether she knew it or not, she'd struck a nerve. And Donna had a pretty good idea that her sister was aware that she was wading into dangerous waters. 

"Where are you going?" Leslie was clearly not done with this conversation and wasn’t pleased when Donna stood.

"To check on Audrey and lay down," Donna stated through clenched teeth, turning to walk into the cabin. 

"You've known him for four years, Donna. What kind of guy doesn't make a move in that amount of time? If he was really interested he would have pulled the trigger by now."

She flinched at Leslie's choice of idiom, stilling her stride and turning slightly to defend Josh. "But what you don't understand about Josh is-"

"Donna." Leslie looked at her intensely. "You're my sister. And I know we don't see eye to eye on things very often. But I'm trying to look out for you here. You're young and pretty. You can't wait forever for something that may never happen. You need to find someone who isn't afraid to kiss you goodnight. You deserve that."

OoOoOoO

Audrey, exhausted from all the fun, slept practically the entire way on the flight back to DC. 

Donna, however, was restless. Her confrontation with Leslie the prior day played over in her head. As content as she felt with her place in Josh & Audrey's lives, she had considered the fact that it could all change at any time. 

Maybe Leslie was right- maybe she should date more. She should find someone who cared for her and wasn't afraid to show it. She should think about starting her own family. After all, what if Josh met someone? What if he was married and Audrey had a new step mother? Where would that leave her?

As the aircraft taxied to a stop Donna gathered their belongings and picked up a still dozing Audrey. Stepping off the jetway her eyes immediately found Josh, deep in conversation on his cell phone in the waiting area, pacing back and forth in his rumpled suit. She paused briefly, shifting Audrey’s weight on her hip.

Josh saw her from the corner of his eye, quickly ending the call and walking swiftly towards them, a full dimpled grin on his face. 

“Hey,” he stated softly, wrapping them both in a hug and placing his hand gently Audrey’s back. “There’s my girls. I missed you guys.”

Josh took Audrey from Donna, placing his hand on the small of her back and leading her out of the airport. He buckled a sleepy Audrey into her carseat and kissed her forehead before loading the suitcases into the trunk. Sliding into the drivers seat he turned his focus to Donna, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and giving her a shy smile. “I’m glad you’re home,” he admitted. “Four days felt like an eternity.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Were you here all night?” Josh glanced around the storage room, which was now in complete disarray, as Donna fluttered around in the mayhem.

“What time is it?” She took the coffee he was holding and took a large drink of it before handing it back to him without preamble. 

“It’s 7:30. I already dropped Audrey off at school.” 

She stopped dead in her tracks. “You didn’t let her wear that princes dress and rainbows again, did you?”

“No,” Josh looked away.

“Joshua! Do not mess with me this morning,” she stated somewhat spastically, pointing her finger at him.

“It was one time, Donna! She wanted to wear the dress. And it was raining. It’s not that bad.”

“This is why I’m in charge of shopping,” she muttered as she opened the top of another box.

“She’s in that outfit you bought her last month. The stirrup pants and that sweater with the hearts on it.”

“Shoes?”

“Pink tennies,” he said with all the confidence in the world. Really, he’d just remembered what Donna had put together the last time Audrey wore the shirt in question. “I’ve got it all under control, Donna.”

“Well that must be nice for you!” she rattled off, sounding perhaps more high strung than he’d ever seen her.

Josh stood idly by as Donna continued on a tirade about how he’d sucked her into a life of crime, mildly amused at her rambling, before stepping into the corridor. 

“This is the woman I’m raising my child with,” he shook his head and muttered with a smile as he entered the hallway, almost bumping into Sam.

“Donna’s like, two, three days away from unspooling. It’s kinda funny to watch but I’ve got to make sure she gets some sleep before she hurts herself.”

“She's in a file room! How on earth is she going to get hurt?”

“I dunno, but it's Donna. It could happen. Audrey unspooled this morning over her lunch box being lost. There were tears, accusations, and one of us needed a time out.”

“Which one?”

Josh’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m, uh not going to dignify that with a response. But I finally found the lunchbox and then when that was finally over she tripped going out the door and skinned her knee and the tears started all over again.”

“You've completely lost me,” Sam admitted. “How does this relate to Donna?”

“Audrey came unraveled because she didn't get enough sleep last night and those two are cut from the same cloth. Sleep is important, Sam.”

“Good Morning, Gentlemen,” Ainsley greeted them as she rounded the corner. “Josh, I was looking for Donna. Might you know her location?”

“Store room,” Josh nodded to the doorway. “Prepare yourself, Ainsley. It’s every woman for herself in there.”

OoOoOoO

“This looks great, Josh,” President Bartlet removed his glasses after reading the memo Josh had presented him.

“Thank you, sir.”

“I just have one question,” The President continued.

“And what would that be, Mr. President?”

“What exactly is this supposed to be?” The President smirked and held up his memo, revealing a green and purple scribble drawing on the back, accompanied by a wide variety of princess stickers. 

“Oh, God,” Josh moaned, mortified. 

“The question is not rhetorical, Josh,” the President persisted, ever amused by the Deputy Chief of Staff’s antics. 

Josh gulped. “That, uh, that appears to be a drawing of Donna’s roommate’s cat and some princess stickers… sir.”

President Bartlet looked at the paper once again. “Ah, yes. I see the tail and the ears now.”

Leo glanced at the President’s paper. “Sure. A cat. I can see that.” He then flipped his own memo over. “I think I have a car on mine.”

Josh’s eyebrow’s raised as he leaned over to look at the second piece of Audrey’s art. 

“Ahhh,” Josh hesitated, “Actually, I think that’s a butterfly.”

Leo turned the paper upside down and stared at it for a moment before looking up to Josh again. “Well kid, I think it’s safe to say she gets her art skills from you.”

Josh let out a genuine chuckle at that. 

“That’s alright,” President Bartlet continued, placing his memo on the Resolute Desk and rounding the corner to his chair. “I heard through the grapevine that she once talked Toby into having a tea party. No easy feat, I’m sure. Not to worry, Josh. She’s learning plenty of other fine traits from you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Josh replied honestly. 

“And if you don’t mind,” President Bartlet continued with a smile, “I’ll be keeping the artwork for the fridge in the residence. It was, after all, a gift.”

 

OoOoOoO

“You wanted to talk to me about something before.”

Donna glanced at him. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo. Well, she really thought he looked handsome all the time. But she couldn’t think about that right now. She forced a weak smile. “Yeah...Listen...I was fixed up on a blind date a few nights ago.

She suddenly had his full attention. He leaned against the doorframe next to her desk, his body language barely concealing his sense of unease and anger.

“When?” He was racking his brain, trying to figure out if he’d missed something obvious. 

“A few nights ago…” She really didn’t want to get into the specifics of it.

Josh shifted his weight from side to side, looking increasingly uncomfortable as he tried to control himself amidst the rising internal hysteria. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. He was in love with her, didn’t she know that?!

“Ainsley fixed us up. He's a Republican lawyer working for Ways and Means but he was being transferred. And it turns out now... that he's on Government Oversight-“

“You can't see him anymore,” he stated firmly.

“ know that.”

“You can't see him anymore,” he stated again, an edge creeping into his voice.

“I know that.”

“It was just that night?” He asked before he thought it through. He didn’t want the details but he needed to know what had happened- if anything could become of this. In an effort to conceal his feelings and shield himself from hurt, he moved swiftly into political operative mode. 

“Yeah,” she began. But she couldn’t lie to him. “No,” she sighed. “We got together the next night again. We  
shouldn't have.

Josh couldn’t look at her. He’d lowered his eyes and channeled as much frustration as he could bear into finishing this conversation without making a scene in the bullpen. He fumbled angrily with the top button on his shirt, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. “Yeah.” He bit back everything else he was feeling.

Donna, for her part, was terrified. Terrified that she’d ruined everything. “Look, when we got together the first time…”

Josh finally managed to meet her gaze. Disappointment, betrayal and hurt coursed through his veins, infusing into his voice. How could she? “You just thought he was with Ways and Means who I was battling on the estate tax.”

“I’m sorry…” It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even the beginning of the regret she felt.

“Did any reporters see you?” He was attempting to wall himself off. 

“No.” He’d never walled her off like this. She was struggling to reach him.

“The second night?”

“No.”

Josh stared at her coldly. He’d never looked at her that way before. It almost broke her into pieces. “All right. You can go home.”

She vaguely remembers telling him something work related as her eyes clouded and she watched him walk away, leaving her there. She jumped when he slammed the door to his office, quickly gathering her things as her bottom lip quivered. She had to get out of there. 

OoOoOoO

Josh’s mood only deteriorated as he played his conversation with Donna over and over in his mind. He’d left the office not long after he’d sent her home, cutting his meeting as short as possible and stalking home. He’d muttered a few words to his mother before she’d left and quietly checked in on Audrey, who was sleeping soundly, before returning to his brooding.

A date. She’d been on a date and he hadn’t even realized it. And with his political rival, nonetheless! He felt betrayed on so many levels. Josh hadn’t even realized he’d begun pacing, striding back and forth in his bedroom, running his hands aggressively through his hair as the panic rose inside of him. He was jealous, that was fairly obvious, but he redirected his feelings to anger. What kind of a stunt was she trying to pull- going out on a date with some gamer from Ways and Means? And why didn’t she just tell him when she- “Oh, God,” he muttered out loud, his face going completely blank as he slowly sunk to a seated position on the side of his bed. “Oh, God.” It finally hit him. Donna hadn’t come over after the date. Her nighttime ritual of sharing a dessert and life advice with Audrey was his never fail way of knowing she was safe and sound- and gomer-less. But it had failed him.

And that’s when it hit him. The date had gone well. It had gone so well, in fact, that she was too occupied to stop by. So well that she’d seen him again the next night. And she hadn’t stopped by with desert that night either.

Josh swore he felt his heart breaking. There was a physical pain in his chest and his breathing went shallow, turning into ragged gulps. It was his worst nightmare. The scenario he refused to acknowledge. What if Donna met someone and he lost her for good?

He didn’t even know it was possible to mourn the loss of something he hadn’t had, but in that moment, Josh Lyman was grieving for the woman he loved. 

 

OoOoOoO

Josh was wide awake when his alarm went off. He'd spent the night staring at his ceiling, trying to make sense of the heartbreak he felt. He didn't know he could mourn a relationship he'd never officially had, but here he was nonetheless. And if he were honest with himself, he would have acknowledged that he and Donna did have something- title or not. But he couldn't go down that road. It just hurt too much. 

He blankly went through the motions of getting himself ready for the day, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile as he let himself in to Audrey's room to get her up and going for the day. 

He sat softly on the side of her toddler bed and brushed her curls out of her eyes as she slept soundly. "Time to wake up," he tried his best to wake her gently. "Audrey?"

She grumbled softly and kicked around a bit, pulling Walter the bunny a little closer but never waking up. Josh sighed. It was typical for her, and for him as well, but he just didn't have the energy to fight it today. 

"Audrey, please wake up," he tried again a little louder. 

Audrey blinked slowly and studied him closely under heavy lids before rubbing her eyes and moving groggily to crawl into his lap. 

"Good morning," he kissed the top of her head. Spending time with Audrey could always better his mood, but this morning he was particularly comforted by her presence. 

"What's wrong, Daddy?" She leaned her head against his chest. 

"What do you mean?" He feigned ignorance, shielding her from his internal torment. 

"You're sad, Daddy." She gently touched the side of his face. 

He pulled her a little closer. "How could I be sad when I have you, Shortcake?" He made sure his voice was breezy as he stood up with her, walking to the kitchen and rooting around the cupboard. "Bagel or cereal?" He asked, still holding her. 

"Donna makes me dippy eggs," Audrey stated with a pout. “I want dippy eggs.”

Josh sighed. With the way he’d left things the night before, he was fairly certain that they wouldn’t be seeing Donna for their normal morning routine. He was terrified that suddenly everything had changed. But he didn’t have the heart to explain that to Audrey. “Well, let’s try something else this morning,” Josh pulled out a box of cereal and was rooting around for a bowl when he heard a soft knock on his door.

She was there, on his front mat, with a timid look on her face. It was a far cry from letting herself in and taking over like she did every other morning, but it was something. He was beyond relieved to see her. 

Audrey reached out to Donna, who took her as Josh opened the door to let her inside.

Donna’s eyes moved to the floor as the two stood in heavy silence. 

“I’ve gotta get going,” Josh announced, clearing his throat a bit. “Senior Staff in thirty minutes.”

“Right,” Donna confirmed.

“Thanks for, uh, coming by to help with her this morning.”

Donna nodded her acknowledgment of his statement and licked her lips. It never even occurred to her to consider not showing up to take Audrey to school. “Of course,” she almost whispered, rubbing Audrey’s back. The long term effects of he actions and the seriousness of their conversation the night before were really starting to sink in.


	22. Chapter 22

“Question.” Sam stood in the doorway to Josh’s office, slipping his hands into his pocket. 

“What’s going on?” Josh swiveled in his office chair to face Sam. 

“Oh, the question isn’t for you,” Sam told him. “I need an expert to weigh in. Audrey? How much does a gum ball cost?”

Audrey looked up from her coloring. “A nickel. That's 5 cents. The middle size silver one They have them at the mall. A whole bunch of them in pretty colors. I stop and look at them every time we go there. They have lots of flavors like root beer and raspberry. But I'm not allowed to have them. They're bad for your teeth. But I really like to look at them and imagine what they taste like. Why do you ask, Uncle Sammy?"

Sam looks at Josh who was looking at Audrey adoringly. "Where'd she learn to talk like that?"

But then he answered his own question at the same time as Josh. "Donna!"

“Daddy, is Donna back yet?”

“No,” Josh answered, glancing at the clock. He’d been hoping to see her walk through the door at any minute for the last half hour.

“When will she be back,” Audrey whined.

“Don’t whine,” Josh told her, shooting her a pointed look. “And I’m not sure. Soon, I hope.”

“Toby wants to go over something if you have a minute,” Sam continued and Josh rose to follow him into the communications bullpen, Audrey grabbing his hand and trailing behind with her coloring book, making herself comfortable in Sam’s visitor’s chair as Josh, Toby and Sam discussed a few issues in the next office. 

With Audrey content where she was, Josh hung around for a while, trying to rid himself of any remaining nervous energy, and passing the time chatting with Sam.

“Donna thinks you're still pissed at her,” Sam stated somewhat flatly.

Josh was immediately defensive and a bit panicked, glancing over to make sure that Audrey wasn’t listening at the moment. “I’m not. I wasn't before. When did she tell you that?”

“Before she left.”

“You've heard from her?” He was hopeful that she was done, but part of him hesitated at the thought that she’d call Sam before him.

“No.”

“She should be done by now.” She should have been back already. He was beginning to feel a gnawing in the pit of his stomach. 

OoOoOoO

She’s was terrified. There was no other word for it. 

Donna moved quickly through the narrow halls, pale under her make-up, eyes wide and uneasy. As she encountered her co-workers everyone asked how she was doing and she gave a variation of the same answer. "Fine. It went fine. It was fine." She didn’t want to chit chat, she only wanted -needed- to get to Josh

Rounding the corner into the bullpen she saw him there, at her desk. She stopped for a moment and just took him in. He looked so handsome, she thought, standing there in his causal Sunday clothes, rifling through her carefully organized filing system to read one of her messages as hie waited for her. And her heart sank- she had to tell him that she’d let him down. Again.

On one hand there was no one she wanted to talk to more, there was no one else she could count on the way she counted on him, there was no one else she trusted more. On the other hand, there was no one she hated disappointing more than she hated disappointing him, how would he react to this? Would he hate her? Was this it? The final blow?

“How'd it go?” He remained cautiously optimistic. 

“I really need to talk to you for a second.” She could feel the bile rising in her throat. 

“What happened?” He studied her closely, concern for her evident on his face.

“I need to just... Can we go in your office?” Her eyes darted around the bullpen. She was a bundle of nerves.

“Audrey, go color at Donna’s desk,” Josh instructed her, ushering her out of the room.

“Donna!” Audrey beamed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

“You can talk to Donna in a minute. Do as I say,” Josh instructed her firmly but without a harsh tone in his voice. Audrey did as she was told, knowing better than to disobey her father when she was allowed to accompany him to work.

“What happened?” Alarm bells were going off non stop in his head.

Out with it, she told herself. No reason to delay the inevitable. “I was asked if I kept a diary, and I said no, only I do keep a diary.”

“Why did you say you didn’t?” His heart rate increased.

“I don't know.” But she did know. She knew exactly why she’d denied it. To protect him. To protect Audrey.

“What do you mean you don't know?”

“Nothing in the diary is relevant. I'm the only one…”

“Is there anyone else in the witness list who knows you keep a diary?”

“Well, there's nobody who knows I keep a diary, except the thing is... Cliff saw it.”

Josh paused for a moment before responding. Because that pill wasn’t hard enough to swallow on it’s own, he had to be reminded of it in this moment. “What do you mean?”

“Cliff came to me after the deposition and told me he saw the diary when he was in my apartment.”

Josh walked around behind his desk and sat down. He knew they were in serious trouble, and he was having a hard time reconciling that with the still new pang in his heart.

His silence was setting her even more on edge. “I swear it wasn't premeditated. Nothing in it was material. Nothing in it was…”

“You don't get to decide that! You don't get to decide what's material and what isn't, Donna!” He couldn’t help but to snap at her.

She bit back her emotion, summing all of her resolve and telling herself not to crumble at what she perceived to be not only his anger but his tremendous disappointment in her. “Please keep your voice down.”

“This is how it happens. They got nothing on the President with MS. They're trolling, then you go in and hand them a…”

“I know.” As if she hadn’t already beaten herself up over this, she had to listen to his detailed disappointment. It was crushing her.

“You were subpoenaed! You were under oath! You answer the damn question!”

“I screwed up.”

“YOU THINK?!”

Donna stood in shock, unable to respond. She could hear the sound of her own heart beating in her ears and in that moment all she wanted to do is turn and flee. To run and never come back. Because in her heart she knew that Josh wasn't just talking about the deposition. He was talking about Cliff and the fact that now there was no way for either of them to pretend she hadn't slept with him, and how nothing would be the same again. But her feet were frozen, and finally she managed to ask the question that she really needed an answer to-- "What should I do?"

"Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing." His tone left absolutely no room for discussion as Donna let herself out of the room. His mind was in overdrive. He had to fix this. It’s all he could focus on. He had to fix this for her. 

But the look he gave her as he said it pierced her heart. Dismayed, Donna turned slowly closed the door behind her. She couldn't hardly believe it. She never even considered that he wouldn't help her. Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she tried to hold herself together. She couldn't breakdown here at the office.

Spotting Audrey at her desk, she leaned back against Josh's closed door and took a deep, shaky breath. Then walked as slowly as possible towards the little girl who meant the world to her.

A few moments later Josh emerged, his coat already on. “Audrey Joan,” he stated in a serious voice, “quickly gather your belongings and put on your jacket, please.”

As Audrey hurried off to do just that, Josh turned his attention back to Donna in a low whisper. “Get your things and go home. Leave now.. Do not stop on the way. Stay there. Do not so much as touch the item question. Do not speak to anyone, do not answer your phone and do not open the door for anyone except me,” he pointed towards himself. “Do you understand me,” he practically growled. 

“Yes, sir,” she replied meekly, picking up her bag and making her way out of the White House yet again.

OoOoOoO

Donna followed his instructions, walking home as quickly as possible and willing herself not to start crying until she got home. But the moment she closed the door behind her, the wave of terror washed over her and her legs gave out and she slid to the floor. The sobs completely racked her body and she struggled to breath, never feeling more alone, or more scared. She thought she had hit bottom when she left Wisconsin 3 years ago, but nothing compared to this.

When the tears finally stopped, she lay on the floor for another moment. She wished she felt numb, but the pain in her heart still throbbed. Still, she managed to get back to her feet, and staggered to the bathroom, where she washed her face. A quick glance in the mirror showed her it had done no good.

She jumped at the sudden pounding on the door, and finding herself scared to open it, even if it was Josh.

Josh called Edith on the way home, asking her to come over quickly. He'd explained nothing other than the fact that he'd be back later and he needed her not to ask any questions upon his return. Then he had dropped Audrey off at the brownstone. 

By the time he'd arrived at Donna's apartment it had already been over an hour. He impatiently pounded on the door. When Donna opened it he immediately noticed her puffy, red eyes. A huge part of him wanted to gather her in his arms and hold her and tell her he'd fix it all for her, but he couldn't at that moment. He had to keep his mind clear until the transaction was complete. And a small part of him still wanted to chastise her for sleeping with Cliff and getting them into this mess in the first place.

"Give it to me," he told her without preamble. 

She knew immediately what he meant. She spun on her heel, walked quickly to her bedroom and retrieved the diary, and placed it on the counter next to where he stood. Josh didn't miss how much her hands were shaking, or the fact that as soon as she set the book down she took a step back and wrapped her arms around her tiny waist. 

He knew she was barely holding it together, but his tone was still brisk. "Turn to the nights you spent with him, please." 

Donna mechanically obeyed, now even more apprehensive than before. She didn't know where this was going.

But Josh didn't even glance at them. Instead he opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out a knife, then carefully removed the pages in question and placed them into a separate envelope before stuffing the diary in its entirety into his coat.

"Let's go," he told Donna, turning to exit and walking down the stairs towards the street. 

She grabbed her purse and locked up before she followed behind him, too terrified to ask any questions. The rode in a heavy silence to a nearby park where Josh found a spot and pulled in, shutting the car off completely before he spoke, staring straight out the car window.

"Cliff will be here in five minutes. When he gets here I don't want you to speak to him. He's going to read your diary in the coffee shop behind us. He'll never be out of my line of vision but I'll keep the entries about him as an insurance policy. When he's done he will decide if he needs to subpoena it, and you, in the morning. If he does we will deal with that tomorrow. If he doesn't that's the end of it. Do you have any questions?"

"No, sir," she whispered in response. There was no point in asking questions. Even now, she trusted him with her life. Even if it felt like her life might be over.

"Stop calling me, sir, Donna," he practically spat with irritation. "Do you have any questions?"

She blinked several times and swallowed hard before responding with a soft "No." 

"Then let's go." As Josh excited the vehicle, the door slammed shut with an echoing bang. Donna gathered her courage, and followed him. But he strode several paces ahead of her toward the bench by the fountain.

They sat in silence as they waited, Donna retreating into herself. Josh mentally coached himself to stay in political operative mode, forcing himself to look straight into the distance rather than to Donna. In order for this to work he had to look calm and collected for Cliff, even though he was slightly panicked inside. The smallest blunder could send this entire deal up in smoke, resulting in serious ramifications for all involved parties- but especially for Donna. This is what he did, he reminded himself. This is why the President of the United States kept him on salary. He made the backdoor deals. He did what had to be done in order to push his agenda through. And tonight there was only one thing on his agenda- Keep Donna Safe. He repeated the mantra in his head, never losing focus of why he was there.

Donna, however, continued to sink into a darker place by the second while left to her own devices. She was almost a shell of a person by the time Josh rose to meet Cliff by the fountain. 

As Josh confronted Cliff, he remained cool, calm and collected. This is why he hadn't stopped to comfort Donna. He needed to be 100% in control of all his emotions at this moment. This was a huge bluff. He had to make Cliff believe this was absolutely not a big deal. A slight misunderstanding, easily rectified.

But when Cliff said "What's October Fourth and Fifth?" Josh almost lost control of his façade. 

"You." Was his only outward response, but inside he was screaming. How could Cliff forget what happened on October 4th and 5th? He slept with Donnatella Moss! Josh was sure that if he had ever had that opportunity, the timestamp would be burned into his memory forever. 

As Cliff walked away, Josh paused for a moment, truly thinking over what he’d just done. And realizing that he’d handed over one of Donna’s most intimate possessions to the opposition. As he returned to her, Josh slowed his stroll, taking her in. He’d been too hard on her over the past few hours, he’d decided. This had to be hell for her, and he didn’t want her to feel alone for another minute. He wanted to go caveman and claim her. To love and protect her, but in that moment he knew he couldn’t. She didn't choose him and he has to respect that.

But he could let her know that he respects her. That he loves her as a friend.

“It’s going to be fine,” he reassured her as he sat down. He just hoped to God it would be. He took the risk of placing his arm around her, softly rubbing her back. She flinched slightly at his touch, which only served to further his heartbreak.

In that moment Josh realized he had a very wounded Donna on his hands. He was a fixer by nature, he reminded himself, and as soon as the diary situation was fixed, he could start working on fixing Donna. 

The next hour passed slower than Josh thought possible. As soon as he sees Cliff approaching at the end of the hour, Josh gets up and walks briskly towards him, wanting to keep Cliff as far away from Donna as possible.

Cliff offers Josh the diary. "You should read it." He suggests gruffly.

"No."

"You really should."

But Josh just stares him down, waiting for the verdict. Cliff shrugs his shoulders in defeat, and tries to peak around Josh to see Donna. Josh intentionally shifts his stance to once again obscure Cliff's view. And continues to wait. 

Finally, Cliff continues, "Look, I'm not going to subpoena it. As far as I'm concerned this ends now." 

"Alright, then." Josh nods his head curtly, "See you around, Calley." 

Cliff turns to go, shaking his head in slight admiration. Josh really does know how to play this game. At least he knows that Donna's in good hands. "Goodnight, Lyman."

OoOoOoO

Josh’s car pulled to a stop. Donna had yet to say a word to him, but found herself somewhat surprised when he’d driven her directly to his residence. 

He placed the vehicle in park and turned to her. “He’s not going to subpoena it..” He handed the diary back to Donna.

“Are you going to read it?” Her voice was shaky at best.

“No, I’m not. I won’t invade your privacy like that. And I’m sorry if I made you feel vulnerable tonight.”

“You protected me,” she softly choked out. “You saved me.”

Josh said nothing to that, unsure how to respond. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep this envelope as insurance that everything goes according to plan,” he continued. She nodded her consent and he pulled a pen out of his console and signing the seal before handing it to Donna to do the same.

“It’s over,” he told her. “Let’s go inside.”

He walked to Donna’s side of the vehicle and placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her up the stairs to his apartment. As soon as they stepped inside he gently helped her remove her coat. 

“Donna!” Audrey came running as Edith followed behind. 

Donna enveloped Audrey in a giant hug, pulling the child especially close. 

Edith took one look at Donna and immediately knew that whatever they’d been up to that evening, it was serious. “I’ll make some tea,” Edith offered quietly.

Josh nodded his appreciation as she slipped into the kitchen to begin.

Josh turned to hang Donna’s coat on the rack and removed his jacket as well. 

Audrey, realizing that something was off, pushed herself back ever so slightly and blinked a few times, tilting her head to look at Donna. “Don’t cry, Donna,” she softly requested, reaching out with her tiny hand to wipe Donna’s silent tears away the way that Donna had done for her so many times before. 

Josh, as soon as he’d heard the words leave Audrey’s mouth, was on high alert. He sat up and moved closer. “Go help Bubbe,” he instructed Audrey, sending her into the kitchen as he moved to Donna towards his bedroom, pulling the door mostly closed behind them.

“Sit down,” he told her, opening his arms to her as he sat back and she made herself comfortable against him, during her face in his shirt for a few moments. “Why are you crying,” he asked her while softly stroking he hair.

Her shaky breaths were her only response. 

Josh crushed her to his chest, holding her close again. “It’s all going to be okay, Donna. You have to believe me.”

Josh continued rubbing Donna's back as she cried until Edith's voice called through the door. "Donna, I've got some tea for you. Can I come in?"

Donna pushes herself away from Josh and nods, while wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah, Ma, come on in." Josh responded, when it became clear that Donna was in no condition to give her answer out loud.

Edith took one look at Donna and decided it was time to mother. She’d grabbed a tissue from the box in the hall bathroom and handed it to Donna with the tea, taking care to make sure it didn’t spill in Donna’s shaky hands. “It’s hot,” she warned. “Sip slowly." 

Josh took the opportunity to slip into his bathroom to run a warm bath for her, pulling a fluffy towel from his linen closet. When he returned to his bedroom he found his mother still perched next to her, a gentle hand on her shoulder as she coaxed Donna to take another sip of tea. 

“It’s ready when you are,” he stated softly. Donna looked at him for the first time in hours and nodded. Josh extended his hand to help her up as she made her way into the en suite. “We’ll talk more after you take a bath,” he assured.

“While you are in there,” Edith chimed in, “I want you to remember that no matter what happened today, you are a part of this family and we love you very much."

“I’ll be right here if you need anything. Take your time,” he told her as he pulled the door to the bathroom closed behind her.

“I’ll leave you be,” Edith told Josh, standing to make her way back to the living room. As she opened the door Josh caught a glimpse of a wide eyed and somewhat fearful Audrey standing vigil outside the door.

“Come here,” he told her quietly, popping her onto his knee as soon as she was close. “Donna isn’t feeling good right now,” Josh tried to explain. “So we’re going to be quiet and play gently tonight, okay?”

Audrey nodded her understanding.

“Go pick out a move and we’ll watch it with you in a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Audrey climbed down and skipped away with Walter to find a movie. 

When she exited the bathroom, clad in a pair of her pajama pants that tended to reside in his top left drawer and his oversized Harvard sweatshirt she looked only marginally better. She wrung her hands awkwardly, halfway waiting for him to tear into her again.

He stepped towards her and rubbed her arms softly, trying to figure out where to begin.

He tips her chin up so he can see her. "Donna, look at me, please." She reluctantly met his eyes and he saw, for the first time, just how terrified she was. The weight of his realization was crushing and suddenly all he can think about is how to fix it. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted this afternoon. It was brash and uncaring and- I never meant to speak to you that way. I was just scared, Donna. Scared of what could happen. But I'm not mad. You know that, right?"

Her eyes flicked away and he realized that she, in fact, didn’t know that. "God, Donna. I couldn't stay mad at you. And you're by no means in trouble. I just- it scared me, alright? But I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise you that much. I'll always do whatever I can to protect you and if it comes down to it, Donna, you know I'll stand in front of you." He leans in and gently kisses her forehead, wrapping her in a hug. And when he felt her begin to relax into him in response to his words he continued.

"You know, Cliff actually turned out to be a decent guy. For a republican. I'm not your father. I had no right to forbid you from seeing him. But please be careful, okay? I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. You really should keep it on the down low, especially until the hearing is over."

She couldn’t bring herself to speak, but she gave a slight nod in acknowledgment that Josh was trying to be kind. 

When Audrey called him out of the room, Donna lay back on the bed and she swore she could actually feel her heart breaking. She doesn't want Cliff. He really was pretty decent throughout this whole thing but it's been a truly horrible day. The one bright moment was when Josh told her it would all be fine and for a second she thought he cared. But he just compared himself to her father and gave her permission to date another man. It's pretty clear that he cares for her on some level, but never in the way she had hoped.

"DONNA!" Audrey bellowed so much like her father, it actually hurts. Donna wiped her face off and joined them in the living room to watch The Little Mermaid. Even though she felt like her dream had been shattered she’d put on a good face and be thankful that at least she still has some place in this family.

As she slid into her spot on the couch she coiled her legs up to her chest, feeling out of place for the first time in years. Josh raised an eyebrow at her body language and shifted a bit, lifting the blanket that was covering the spot next to him. They always sat head to toe, their legs usually finding their way to intertwine with each other throughout the course of the night. Audrey would be up and down a hundred times during the movie, eventually curling up with one of them before falling asleep.

Donna unsteadily moved to her normal position and Josh covered their legs with a warm blanket, tucking the ends under her feet and resting his hand on her calf. Edith took her place in the chair with the ottoman and Audrey, already in her pajamas, crawled onto Donna’s lap with a small blanket of her own. 

Donna was comforted by the presence of all three members of the Lyman family and found herself calming down a bit from all the events of the day. Still, she felt like she’d completely ruined any chance she’d had with Josh. If nothing else, she was just grateful he hadn’t kept her away from Audrey. 

Towards the end of the movie Audrey finally lost the battle with sleep and curled closer in to Donna as her breathing evened out.

“Well,” Edith offered, “It’s late and I think we could all use a bit of sleep. Come on, Donna, I’ll drive you home.” She stood, gathering the younger woman’s belongings and her own purse.

Josh moved to take Audrey from Donna, transferring the little girl into his arms without waking her. 

“Get some sleep, Donna,” he whispered, kissing her softly on her cheek. “Tomorrow is a new day.”


	23. Chapter 23

"Daddy?" Audrey peeked around the corner from her bedroom and saw that Josh was concentrating deeply on the morning newspaper. A mischievous smile, identical to her father's, broke out on her face.

She moved silently down the hall until she was peering into the kitchen. "Daddy?" She asked softly using the indoor voice Donna had instructed her to use in the mornings.

Josh quickly turned to the second page for the rest of the article in The Post, muttering in concentration as he did so.

She stood next to him and tugged lightly on his shirt sleeve. "Daddy!"

Josh practically jumped out of his skin in surprise at her presence, dropping the paper in the process. He'd been lost in thought since he'd woken up that morning and was truly surprised to find Audrey standing at his side, blinking up at him with her big brown eyes.

"Hi, shortcake," he greeted her once he'd regained his composure. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," Audrey responded, wiggling around a bit. "Is Donna here yet?"

"Donna's not coming over this week, remember?" He'd been over this with her several times, still, Audrey asked for Donna every morning.

She popped her bottom lip out in a pout.

Josh sighed, reaching into the pantry and pulling out a box of Cheerios. "Hold this," he told her, moving through the kitchen to gather bowls, spoons, milk and a banana.

"But why isn't Donna here?" Audrey emphasized the why and looked at him expectantly, clutching the box of cereal that was nearly as big as she was.

The simple answer, Josh thought, was that Donna was taking meetings with a different group of constituents every morning that week. "She has to be in the office to take care of some things for me," he muttered. But in his heart, he knew that there was more to it than that. They just hadn't recovered from the diary incident, and Josh wondered if they ever truly would. Still somewhat lost in thought, he didn't even realize that he kept muttering to himself quietly, wondering how he was going to fix this. ((Wondering how he was going to go through life knowing she was out there that night a few weeks ago with some other man, and a Republican no less, and he'd been hung up on her for all of these years. What if this was a sign that she'd truly moved on from them.))

"Daddy!" Audrey pulled him from his own mind as his mind wandered place he refused to acknowledge. "Look at my face."

Josh turned to peer at Audrey, caught completely off guard by her request. It was a line that he was familiar with, Donna having used in on Audrey herself many times when she wouldn't listen. He attempted to stifle his laughter at his daughter's adultlike personality.

Audrey, still clutching the large box of Cheerios close, peered up at him with a straight-faced intensity he wasn't sure he'd seen before. "Do you need to say sorry to her?"

"Do I need to say sorry to her," Josh repeated the question, barely able to believe that this conversation was even taking place. He realized, though, that maybe they should talk about it. Maybe he should let her know that he truly wasn't mad at her. But he couldn't pour his soul out to his daughter, so Josh deflected. "Whos the adult around here anyway?" He cracked a joke and gave her a little smile, taking the box of cereal.

"Donna," she retorted without hesitation, making her way to the breakfast table.

OoOoOoO

Josh groaned in frustration as he continued to dictate the letter to Donna. "New paragraph. As always, your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. Also appreciated was the visit to the White House by some fifty of your constituents on board a bus that was chartered by your office. Their complaints were respectfully heard by my assistant and I regret that matters escalated to the point where she felt it necessary to call in the Park Police. You'll be happy to know that their bus has been refueled and that the seniors are on their way home, each having been allowed to keep their security tags as a souvenir."

"Look…"

"Signed…"

"I was just…"

"Do it."

"Excuse me," CJ peeked her head into Josh's office.

"Hey." Josh, though very much not in the mood for friendly conversation, was glad to have a distraction.

"You got a second?" CJ glanced around the room, the tension between Josh and Donna almost palpable.

"Type that," he ordered to Donna.

"Look, I was just…" she attempted to explain.

"Type it," he repeated himself.

"May I use your computer?"

"What's wrong with yours?" He was losing his patience.

"One of them poured Wheatena on the keyboard." She was attempting to keep her cool."

"Go ahead."

Josh and Donna attempted, with unmasked annoyance, to navigate his office and switch places with one another. It wasn't lost on either of them that, until a few weeks ago, they were perfectly in step with one another at all times.

CJ briefly pushed aside what she'd originally needed to ask Josh. "Are you two okay? You seem a bit… off."

"We're fine," Josh let out a breath as he spoke, looking off into the distance. He'd heard that same comment from seemingly everyone in the last few days. "We had a little problem earlier. What's up?"

But CJ wasn't going to let it go that easily. "It's just that you're usually so in sync with each other and for the last week or so it's been as if-"

"CJ," He interrupted her, his patience wearing thin. "That's not what I meant. What did you need?"

"Hmm? Oh." She began to discuss the majority leader's answer to the question but she couldn't help but to study him as she did. Josh was her friend, and she could tell when he was off his game. And if there was something amiss between Josh and Donna, she thought, lord help them all.

OoOoOoO

It was with a certain degree of dread that Josh had found himself in the WLC's office that morning. But he had to admit that his meeting with Amy Gardner had gone better than he'd expected it to.

So he was equally surprised when he found himself walking her back to her office that very same day. As a matter of fact, Josh had found himself rather… ensorcelled. She was the kind of woman that should be exactly his type, he thought. A well educated career woman and a power dater. A little voice in the back of his mind began to protest, telling him that's not what he wanted anymore, but Josh quickly silenced it.

And, Josh thought, the ballon animal thing was certainly a point in the plus column as well. That had to mean that she liked kids, right? But he was getting ahead of himself. For the time being he would keep Audrey far away from Amy and any arrangement he had with her.

He didn't need to plan their entire future out. In fact, the thought of doing so was making him sweat on a chilly winter night. No, no. He just wanted to keep things casual. But he was a man, and he had needs. Needs that Amy had seemed interested in satisfying. There was nothing wrong with that, he told himself. No commitments, no pressure.

Yes, this could work, he assured himself as he strolled down the street towards the office. Perhaps she was right- he did need to be hit over the head with it. And Amy Gardner seemed to be the exact opposite of Donna Moss in many ways. Perhaps that was just what he needed in order to move on.

OoOoOoO

"Audrey, quit dilly dallying. Pick your book and get into bed or there will be no story at all tonight," Josh warned.

"But Daddy, I'm not tired." Audrey whined.

"No buts, Audrey Joan. It's well past your bedtime."

Audrey scrunched up her face in discontent before selecting The Kissing Hand, one of her favorites, and handing it to Josh, who clicked on the nightlight in the corner. Donna purchased the book for Audrey before she started school, and the first time Josh had read it to her he'd become quite choked up.

Josh pulled the covers back on her small bed and Audrey climbed in, dragging Walter the Bunny behind her.

Josh tucked the blankets in around her, making sure that she was comfortable before sitting next to her. "What was your favorite part of your day, Shortcake?" He asked her every night and was always delighted to hear her answer.

"Making pancakes for dinner!" Audrey exclaimed with a grin. "I helped you, Daddy!"

Josh couldn't help but to smile back at her. "Yes, you did. And you did a great job."

"Walter's favorite part was watching the news with you," she said seriously. She'd situated her trusty bunny on the couch next to Josh that evening so he'd have some company as he watched a political commentary show on CNN and she busied herself coloring.

"Ah, well I'm glad to hear he enjoyed that," Josh responded, biting back a smile. After all, Walter the Bunny was a highly regarded member of the Lyman family.

Josh began reading the book, telling the story of Chester Raccoon and his first day of school. As Chester realizes his fears of being away from his mother, Mama Raccoon kisses his hand and reminds him that if he's lonely all he needs to do is place his hand on his cheek and remember that he is loved. It had since become a staple of their mornings. Without fail, Josh would kiss her palm before he departed for senior staff.

Josh continued to read softly as Audrey's eyelids became heavy and her usually abundant energy slowed. Soon, she was asleep and Josh closed the book, listening to her steady breathing and watching her rest peacefully.

He brushed a stray curl out of her face and kissed her forehead. "Sweet Dreams," he whispered, "I love you, baby girl."

OoOoOoO

Josh's door buzzed, pulling him from his sleep only moments before his alarm was set to go off. He clicked the button to open the door, assuming Donna had left the house without her keys. Why she was so early today, he didn't know. But after a busy week of taking his early meetings at The White House they were all ready to get back to their normal schedule.

He was somewhat surprised to see Amy, but was too exhausted to show almost any emotion. They argued back and forth for a few moments, Josh slightly annoyed that she felt this conversation was appropriate at this time of day.

"Josh, you and I spent four nights with each other. I didn't break up with him for you. I'm not pathetic-stalking-woman who, you know... does things." Amy rolled her eyes

"We spent six nights with each other." It was early, but he was always up for a little playful back and forth. He was ensorcelled.

"What are you counting?"

"I'm counting them all.

"It was four."

"Daddy?" A tired little voice called out from down the hallway.

Amy froze and Josh cringed a bit. He somehow felt like he'd been caught. He fixed his face back into neutrality as he rounded the corner and crouched down to Audrey's level, smoothing her bed head.

"Hi, shortcake. What are you doing up?"

Audrey rubbed her eyes and clutched her trusty stuffed bunny. "I heard a noise," she yawned. "Is Donna here?"

"No, baby," Josh kissed her forehead. "Donna's not here yet. Why don't you go back to bed and I'll be in to check on you in a minute?"

Audrey stuck her lip out to pout and Josh shook his head, a little smile coming across his face. There was no question as to where she'd learned that little maneuver. She was the master's apprentice. "Back to bed," he told her, standing up.

Audrey looked up at him, blinking her big brown eyes and then ran by him with a giggle, heading directly towards Josh's king size bed to see if she could talk him into cartoons. She stopped dead in her tracks halfway through the living room and stared at Amy.

"Hello," the Amy drawled, unsure how to address the little girl in this somewhat awkward situation.

Audrey looked over at Josh for reassurance before politely greeting Amy and pulling her bunny closer. She stood in the uncomfortable silence for a few more beats before padding into Josh's room and crawling under his comforter and falling quickly back to sleep.

"So," Amy began, staring at the door to Josh's bedroom, unsure of how to continue.

"That's Audrey," Josh stated the obvious.

"She's cute," Amy offered.

"Thanks."

"She's quiet, though," Amy supplemented. "She doesn't get that from you."

"She's shy around people she doesn't know."

"Does your assistant usually show up at your apartment in the middle of the night?" Amy directed her attention back to Josh, asking the question that was truly on her mind.

"She's little, Amy. She didn't check her watch before she came out here, she just thought it was time to wake up."

"And your assistant is usually here when she wakes up?"

"Donna takes her to school in the mornings so I can get to senior staff on time. Plus, I'm not very good at the whole fixing her hair thing."

"You're sure you're not dating her?"

"Amy-"

"I just want you to at least acknowledge that this arrangement that you have with her isn't normal, J."

"For some reason, I don't think I'm going to take advice from you on this today," He handed her her jacket and practically ushered her out the door. "I'll talk to you about the other thing in thirty seconds when you call me on your cell phone."

 

XxXxXxX

A/N: First of all, thank you SO MUCH for the warm response to this fic. Your comments and reads mean so much to me. I am having such a blast playing in this universe and it's so much more fun to know that you guys are enjoying it, too.

STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME MILD SPOILERS: I know the last few chapters have been a departure from the fluff that this story started out with. And I know that a lot of you guys were hoping that the Amy arc would be skipped altogether, but I think that Josh and Amy are important. To me, in the show, he sees through Amy that the type of woman he 'thinks' he should want is the type of woman he doesn't want at all. However, I do promise to keep this arc brief. That being said, this chapter signifys the end of cannon for our characters. There will be some re-working of ideas as well as a major plot twist or two. If you've read my other stories you know I typically throw something unexpected at you. But I will promise you this- In the world I've created, there is ALWAYS a happy ending.


	24. Chapter 24

“Audrey, what is wrong?” Josh was flummoxed. Totally and completely flummoxed.

His normally well behaved daughter had chosen tonight, of all nights, to throw her manners out the window and have a fit. 

Things with Amy had been going, in his opinion, unexpectedly well. So, after she’d dropped hints for two days about having dinner with him, he’d relented. And Josh invited her over for an evening meal. 

It wasn’t a problem, however, until Amy showed up at Josh's door in a little black dress with more than dinner on her mind. 

“Hi,” Josh threw open the door in a well worn pair of jeans and a tshirt, as Audrey scowled on his hip. 

“Hello,” Amy tried not to show her surprise at the scene before her. “Hi there, Audrey. I'm Amy.”

“I know.” Audrey studied her closely. 

“I like your bunny,” Amy offered, attempting to make conversation as she entered the apartment and Josh shut the door behind her. 

Audrey clammed up and pulled the bunny closer as though she was afraid to lose it. “His name is Walter,” she told Amy seriously, leaning farther into Josh, who carried her into the kitchen. 

“So,” Amy glanced around the apartment, which was even messier than usual after Audrey had spread her toys out and then started to work on a half finished craft project. “You were expecting me, right?” She halfway joked. 

“Uh, yeah?” Her attempt at humor at his expense was lost on Josh, who had been up since 4am and had barely been able to be more than a foot away away from Audrey without her teetering on the edge of a meltdown after he’d come home for the evening. 

“Okay…” She slowed her speech, still not clicking with Josh was saying. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Well,” Josh rummaged around for a juice box in the fridge and managed to undo the wrapper and poke the straw in with one hand before giving it to Audrey, still on his hip. “I thought you said you wanted to have dinner.”

“Yeah,” Amy leaned against the counter. “How about sushi?”

Josh laughed good naturedly, starting Audrey a bit, who squeezed the apple juice just a little too aggressively, causing it to squirt out onto Josh’s shirt.

“Sorry, Daddy,” she whispered.

“It’s okay, Shortcake,” he assured her, grabbing a towel and swiping at the stain. 

“Seriously, Amy,” he asked as he sat Audrey down to return to her coloring at the kitchen table. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m sure you could get your table at Morton’s,” she continued.

Josh stared at her like she’d grown a third head before it dawned on him. “I- Oh.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “See, when you said you wanted to do dinner and have a normal night together, I thought you meant- you know- my normal.”

Amy tried not to make a face at the thought. “I really just meant see each other outside of a political fundraiser or late night bo-”

“Ahem,” Josh cleared his throat to stop her from continuing, motioning towards Audrey, who was listening intently just a few feet away. 

“Right,” Amy drummed her fingers on the counter. “So, no sitter?”

“No.” Josh was uneasy about this entire situation to begin with, and now he was certainly having doubts.

Amy glanced over to Audrey. “Well, we could… all go out…?” It was easy to see that she wasn’t exactly sold on the idea herself. 

“Well, I have a lasagna in the freezer that I was planning to have ready but the evening got away from me,” he began, immediately noticing her reaction to that suggestion, “we can find something else or we can just order takeout?”

“Ahkay.” Amy, though less than thrilled with the situation, understood that Josh was trying to be as accommodating as possible. 

“I’ll just get something started for her,” he gestured towards Audrey, noticing the time was quickly approaching dinner. 

He fumbled around in the freezer for a minute before pulling out a box of chicken nuggets and preheating his oven. He attempted to chat with Amy, who he thought was becoming more comfortable at the situation after the initial change of plans, until the phone rang. 

“It’s not on the hook,” she remarked.

Josh leaned over to glance at the cradle. “Audrey, where did you put the phone after you said goodnight to Bubbe?”

“I don't know,” she shrugged her shoulders and continued coloring. 

Josh just shook his head. It wasn’t worth getting into at that exact moment. He’d find it later. “If the White House needs me, they’ll call my other number,” he told Amy, pointing to the cell phone laying on the counter.

But the message machine clicked on and Donna’s familiar voice came across the machine. “Hey, its me- Hi Sweet Pea!- I left an envelope on the counter this morning and my tickets for tonight are in it so I’m swinging by to get it. See you in a minute.”

“Donna!” Audrey exclaimed at the message. “Donna’s coming over!”

“Just for a minute, though,” Josh warned her. “She has plans and she’s in a hurry,” he tried to let Audrey know that there wouldn’t be an endless amount of time for Donna to play that evening. He glanced over to the breakfast table and saw the envelope in question, picking it up and placing it neatly on the counter before it too was decorated in crayon drawings. “Finish up what you’re doing so you can get ready for dinner,” Josh told Audrey. “Your chicken nuggets will be ready in twenty minutes.”

Audrey’s head whipped up at Josh’s words. “Chicken nuggets?”

“Yeah.” Josh continued what he was doing in the kitchen. Frozen nuggets and fish sticks were his dinnertime safety net, although he had become a much better cook over the last few years, thanks largely to Donna’s instruction. 

“No, Daddy,” she told him with a sniffle. “I don’t want that.”

“What?” Josh turned around to look at her, noticing that her eyes were welling with tears. “Audrey what are you talking about? You love nuggets.”

Audrey burst into tears at the table, letting out a loud wail and catching Josh completely off guard, to say nothing of Amy.

“Hey,” he scooped her up. “What's your issue today?”

“I don't want nuggets! I want lasagna,” she cried, giant tears streaming down her face. 

“Audrey, this is not how we act, is it?” He crouched down to her level but she continued to cry. 

It was then that Donna knocked on Josh's door and began to dig for her keys after hearing Audrey's cries. Amy, however, was grateful to have a chance to step away from the scene in front of her and opened the door to Donna. 

“Hi Amy. I love your dress.” Donna could find something to be nice about at any moment. “What's wrong?” She asked, sitting her purse on the entry bench and making her way quickly to Audrey. 

Donna took her place next to Josh while Amy remained awkwardly in the entryway, trying not to be obvious as she looked onto the scene before her. 

“Why are you upset,” Donna asked softly, wiping Audrey's tears. 

Audrey just continued to cry, so Donna looked at Josh, who was clearly heartbroken by the distraught state of his little girl. 

Josh reached out and felt Audrey's forehead, trying to see if she was running a temperature. 

“Nuggets,” Audrey eventually sobbed. “They make them with real chickens, Daddy!”

“Oh, baby,” Donna opened her arms, “did your class’ chicks hatch today?”

Audrey nodded in affirmation as she lunged into Donna's arms. 

Josh rubbed her back until her cries slowed. “I'm sorry, Audrey. Why didn't you say anything?”

“I forgot,” Audrey told him as she rubbed her eyes. 

“What did you name your chicken,” Donna asked, trying to get her to talk about something. 

“Fred,” Audrey responded with a sniffle. 

“Fred?” Donna mouthed the question to Josh who shrugged. He had no idea where that had come from. 

“Well, Fred is a good name for a chicken,” Donna assured her as best as she could while Josh tucked her auburn curls behind her ear. “Let's go wash your face, okay?” Donna made her way to the kitchen sink, as Josh grabbed a lavender washcloth from the hall closet and a Kleenex from the bathroom. 

Donna wordlessly took the tissue from Josh as he turned the water to the proper temperature and wet the washcloth. 

“Blow,” Donna instructed Audrey as she wiped her nose, handing the dirty tissue to Josh, who exchanged it for a washcloth as Donna washed away Audrey's tear stains. 

Amy looked on, mouth somewhat agape and eyebrows raised. She could hardly believe what she was seeing. She couldn't hear what Donna was saying, but she didn't need to know as Josh watched on with the most gentle smile Amy had ever seen. It would occur to her only later that Josh had all but forgotten than she was even in the room. 

Donna hoisted Audrey onto her hip and walked towards the kitchen cabinets, reviewing some dinner options. “‘Mac and Cheese?” Donna offered. 

“With peas,” Josh offered, trying to sweeten the deal. Typically he wouldn't cave to Audrey's every whim, especially when she threw a fit, but he knew his daughter had such a soft heart when it came to animals that he was sure that she was devastated by the thought of chicken nuggets. He just hoped she didn't figure out where hamburgers and fish sticks came from any time soon. 

“Donna,” Josh glanced at the clock, moving his hand to barely touch the small of her back, “you're going to be late.” 

“Hmm? Oh. Well, it's not the end of the world,” Donna stated nonchalantly. “But I should get going. Daddy's going to make you dinner,” Donna told Audrey. “I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Reluctantly, Audrey gave Donna a kiss goodbye and Josh took her from Donna's arms. 

“Make her some celery and peanut butter, please, so she gets a little protein tonight,” she asked Josh in an aside. 

He nodded that he would. “Be careful tonight,” he reminded her. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Kay, I will. Goodnight ,” shegavr him a soft smile knowing that his offer was genuine, grabbed her tickets and said goodnight to Amy, who's mood had soured considerably after watching the evening's interaction. 

There was a silent moment in the apartment after the door closed, broke quickly by Audrey. “Macaronis?” She asked, not wanting anyone to be distracted and change their mind about her mac and cheese dinner. 

“Well, let's see what Miss Amy wants for dinner,” he suggested. 

“Macaronis?” Audrey asked Amy. 

Amy had to admit- she was a cute kid. “Sure. That sounds… fine.”

“How about we order delivery from Tony’s,” Josh offered, trying to find a compromise and assuming that Amy hadn’t exactly been looking for a night of blue box and singing with a three year old when she’d slipped into that dress.

Everyone seemed to agree with that idea, and Josh grabbed the phone to call in the order. Audrey was still only content when Josh was holding her. He placed an order for baked ziti for him, macaroni with peas for Audrey, and turned to Amy, waiting expectantly for her order. 

Chicken Pomodoro was her go to dish and it sounded pretty good to her know.

“Chick-” she began, stopping her words when Josh’s eyes went wide and he shot her a look that reminded her why he was Bartlet’s Bulldog. 

“Really?” he almost snarled.

“Sorry,” Amy muttered, adding an eyeroll that Josh didn’t see. “Fettuccini Alfredo.”

Josh placed the order, glad they were over that hurdle without another meltdown. He was remembering why he had compartmentalized his life like this. His casual relationship with Amy worked best when it was just that- casual. She truly was an independent woman with no desire to play the wife and mother. It was what it was, and Josh decided that he was fine with that. After all, he received most of the emotional fulfilment he craved from the other people in his life. 

“Can we watch Peter Pan,” Audrey asked hopefully.

“We can turn it on,” Josh informed her, walking her over to click on the TV. “You and Walter can sit on the couch and color while you watch. Miss Amy and I will be watching from the kitchen, okay?”

Audrey scrunched her nose up in uncertainty. “You can’t see from the kitchen.”

Josh sighed. “We can see just fine from the kitchen table,” he assured her, sitting her on the couch and returning to Amy when she was absorbed in her movie. 

“Quite the interesting night you’re having around here,” Amy began.

“Yeah, look, I’m sorry. I thought that when you said you wanted to have dinner you meant that you wanted to have dinner with us,” he spoke softly. “She’s just tired and I’ve been working a lot this week, she’s not usually like this.”

“It’s fine, J. We’ll make up for it some other time when it’s just the two of us. But you could offer me a glass of wine or something.”

“Sure,” he gave her a smirk and pulled out two wine glasses before opening a bottle that had been sitting in the back of the cupboard. They quietly made smalltalk for the next thirty minutes, bickering about a wide variety of proposed legislation while Audrey watched her movie.

Dinner arrived twenty minutes after it was ordered and Josh situated Audrey at the table with a small portion of macaroni and a few tiny bites of celery and peanut butter per Donna’s request.

“Daddy, can I have a bite?” Audrey asked, eyeing the bread that accompanied Amy’s dish. Donna’s standard order also included garlic bread, and Audrey loved the first bite. 

“Ah,” Josh quickly took the temperature at the table, “No, baby. Just have your macaroni and cheese right now. You don’t need garlic bread. You can have some of my breadstick,” he offered, handing her a chunk off of his. She seemed content with the compromise and went on with her life, swinging her little legs and humming happily as she ate her meal. 

Conversation was forced between Josh and Amy, with Amy struggling to find appropriate topics. Josh was more than a little surprised by this. Didn’t she say that she had nephews?

“So, Audrey,” Amy began, “You like Peter Pan?”

“Mhmmm,” Audrey nodded eagerly. “I like Wendy. She’s my favorite. And Nana. And Mr. Smee,” she giggled.

“Oh yeah?” Amy gave her a smile. “I like the crocodile who eats the clock.”

“Tick-Tock,” Audrey moved her head back and forth with a smile. 

“I’ll be right back,” Josh quietly excused himself to use the restroom. It seemed like the two were getting along well enough.

“And why is Wendy your favorite character,” Amy continued. 

“Because she’s nice,” Audrey explained, “Like Donna.”

“Oh,” Amy wasn’t sure what to say.

“Miss Amy? Why did Donna leave before we had dinner?”

“Well,” Amy began, trying to figure out what to say. “Tonight is Donna’s night off. She had plans.”

“Her night off?” Audrey questioned tilting her head in concentration as she listened to Amy’s words.

“Well, yes. Since she works for your Dad. Tonight was her night off.”

“Donna works for Daddy?” Audrey was slowly processing something she’d never really thought of before. 

“Yes. She gets paid to help your Dad.” Amy tried to phrase it as plainly as possible.

Audrey’s mind went to work, trying to reconcile what she’d just learned. This was Donna’s job? Her eyes widened and her shoulders slumped as Amy went back to her dinner, still talking to Audrey about Peter Pan, a movie that her nephews enjoyed. 

When Josh returned only a few moments later, however, he saw the sadness in Audrey’s face immediately. “What happened,” he asked Amy, as he smoothed Audrey’s curls, his eyes examining her closely. 

“We were just talking about Peter Pan,” Amy was genuinely at a loss, realizing for the first time just how downtrodden Audrey suddenly looked. “I have no idea…” She was borderline horrified. She honestly hadn’t meant to upset Audrey.

Josh couldn’t figure out what the issue was. Audrey must have just been having an off night. “Do you not feel good,” he asked her softly. Audrey shook her head, “no,” speaking of the newfound sadness inside of her. 

“I think you’re just tired, baby,” Josh hoisted her up. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Audrey wrapped her arms around Josh and rest her head on his shoulder. 

“I’ll be right back,” he began speaking to Amy, “I’m just going to-”

“You know what?” She cut him off, “It’s okay. I should probably go.”

“Oh.” Josh had to admit, he was disappointed. He’d wanted this evening to go well. He’d tried not to compare every move Amy had made to Donna, but he was struggling not to. But Josh didn’t want to be alone forever. The fact that Donna wasn’t interested in him had never been more clear than the last weeks, so Josh wanted to put some work into his relationship with Amy. 

“It’s fine, J,” she continued, gathering her things. “I’ll call you tomorrow. I hope you feel better, Audrey,” she added with sincerity. 

“Can you say bye,” Josh asked Audrey.

 

“Bye, Miss Amy.” It came out as barely a whisper. 

Not at all wanting to kiss Amy in front of Audrey, Josh bid her a goodnight and saw her out. That certainly had not gone as planned. 

OoOoOoO 

"You're heading out?" Donna leaned in his doorway.

"Yeah." Josh grabbed his bag and powered down his computer. It had been a hellaciously long few days but it looked like he’d through with another victory. Though somehow, this one seemed considerably less sweet. "You can go home."

"Are you going home?" She wore a look of worry as she approached him. 

"I'm, uh…" he stopped and sighed. "Ya know."

"Yeah." And she did. She knew what he'd had to do to get this thing passed and how unsettling it was to him. "I'm sure everything will be fine," she tried for optimism, though she knew that probably wasn't the case.

"Mmm," he mumbled a non response. Everyone who knew him well at all had been attempting to console him, having an idea of just how hard he was on himself when things like this happened.

She watched him move, noticing how utterly exhausted he seemed. Josh rounded the corner of his desk to head out but she stopped him, gently cupping his face. "Try and get some sleep tonight, okay? And eat a decent dinner." 

He gave her a sad smile. God, he misses her. This exchanged has been the most they've connected in weeks. And he's incredibly grateful that she'd cared enough to notice how the Amy thing is affecting him but he's actually more heavy hearted at how strained his relationship with Donna has become. 

He walked Donna out, putting her into a cab before hailing one for himself and heading to Amy's. Audrey was out of town for the weekend with his mother, visiting his father's second cousin New Jersey and on top of everything, he'd had to deal with at work over the last few days, he'd missed her terribly. He'd give anything just to be able to read her a story that evening and feel the simple peacefulness of a few quiet moments with his daughter. She's the center of his universe, and he just feels off without her.

He takes a moment to admit to himself that it's not just Audrey who centers him. Over the past few years, on some of the worst days of his career and a few of the worst days of his life, he'd always had Audrey and Donna. Two people who were always there for him. Two people who wouldn't let him fall into a hole. They, in very different ways, were the reasons he worked to make the world a better place. So why was he on his way to Amy's? Honestly, he's not sure. But for some reason he feels like he has to try to fix things.

From the moment he'd walked into Amy's apartment, the tension had been almost unbearable. And if he hadn't known if before, by the time they were halfway through their argument he'd known that coming here had been a bad idea. Still he made one more effort to salvage the evening. 

"Let's not do this now." He'd just wanted to move on, eat dinner, blow off some steam and get a good night's sleep. But Amy couldn't read him the way Donna could. Amy just couldn't or wouldn't stop pressing his buttons.

She didn't want to back down, didn't want to move on, hell, she didn't even want to salvage the evening. She just kept going--

"Cash bonuses to moms on welfare who marry the child's father-- canceling out child support debt if the parents…"

Finally, he lost it, raising his voice to be heard over hers. "You know what? Every single study, every one shows that kids do better in two-parent houses."

"Kids are better off if they're raised by parents who love them. Your solution is loveless."

"It's not my solution!" God! Why couldn't she see that? Was she really so completely clueless about how this process worked? Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to get the bill passed. "I mean, it's CLEARLY not MY solution, Amy."

"Do you really think a tax credit will fix your life, Josh?" She practically hissed at him.

And he stopped and stood stock-still. It really was kind of like looking into the eyes of a poisonous snake. He gave her a pointed look. "I would choose your next words very carefully if I were you, Amy."

But she didn't heed his warning, still trying to win at any cost.

"I'm asking you a question, Josh. Because based on what you've negotiated today, that's exactly what it seems like you think. So tell me, would your life be better if Audrey's mother would have stayed for a tax incentive? Or how 'bout she comes back and the two of you play house, would that be the best thing for your daughter?"

"No! Of course it's not what I think! And you know what, Amy? I don't know the true struggle of a single mother on welfare, nor do I claim to. But for another billion dollars in childcare I was willing to take the deal. It's progress!"

"I'm only going to tell you once, Amy. Leave Audrey out of this."

"Right, leave YOUR family out of this. This is just another line in the budget. An insignificant bargaining tool that doesn't apply to YOUR family? Well, it should! You're a single parent, Josh. If there was anything that you should stand firm on I would think it might be this."

"Don't pretend like you have any idea about MY family or the arrangements or sacrifices I've made for my daughter."

"You mean the arrangement you have for your assistant to raise her?"

"Amy." If she's had been listening to his tone she would have heard the warning in the way he said her name. But she didn't, still spitting venom and taking aim at everything dear to him.

"There's no tax incentive if you marry the de facto mother, Josh."

Part of him couldn't believe she'd gone there, and part of him wasn't surprised at all. "You're so far across the line, Amy, that . . ."

But before he could finish that thought she picked up her phone and called her office, ready to head to war with him over this topic. 

So much for sleep, Josh thought, as he gathered his belongings and head out the door, cursing himself for ever having trusted her at all. With any part of his life.

OoOoOoO

Donna took Audrey's hand, throwing her small bag over her shoulder and leading her up the stairs to the apartment. Her day had taken an odd turn at the last minute, that was for sure. She’d spent most of her evening at Josh’s setting the scene so he could have a Tahitian evening with Amy. It was easy for Donna to see that the pair had been fighting for the better part of the last few weeks, but clearly Josh was trying to make some sort of amends. After all, he was a chronic fixer. 

And though she may have been less than thrilled at the thought of Josh having a romantic night with Amy, but she had long ago promised Audrey a girl’s sleepover night and she was going to make sure she pulled out all the stops. 

She unlocked the door and Audrey ran straight over to pet Donna's roommate's cats, a piece of her personality she certainly didn't inherit from her father. 

They'd already been to the video store where Audrey spent twenty minutes selecting the perfect movie. Donna had supplemented her animated selection with Mary Poppins, which she couldn't believe Audrey had never seen. Donna quickly changed into comfortable clothes and put her things down, prepping the kitchen while the little girl entertained herself with the cats.

"Audrey, come over here and hang your coat up and wash your hands so we can make dinner."

Audrey skipped right over, excited to cook with Donna. 

Donna popped Audrey up onto the counter and stood next to her, helping her knead some pizza dough and spread it out on a greased pan, giving her free reign on the cheese and toppings. Audrey talked non stop while she carefully placed the black olives and turkey pepperoni, telling Donna all about her week. After Donna slid the pizza into the oven, they moved onto Audrey's requested dish: cookies. 

Donna helped Audrey measure out the ingredients and stir them all together. "Chocolate chips or M&M's?" Donna held both of the mix ins up for Audrey to choose. 

Audrey scrunched up her face in concentration. "Chocolate chips. Daddy likes chocolate chips." 

Donna smiled softly at the sweet reasoning behind Audrey's choice. "Okay. We can do both if you want M&M’s, too," she told her, Audrey's eyes widening in excitement. 

They spooned drops onto a spare baking sheet, Audrey's cookies varying greatly in size, but Donna was pleased to see that their little cooking project kept her attention for as long as it had.

Audrey went suspiciously quiet for a moment, deep in concentration. Donna simply watched her, able to tell she was thinking something through.

"Donna? Is my Daddy with Miss Amy tonight?" Audrey finally asked timidly.

Donna couldn't lie to the little girl. She nodded her head in confirmation. "Yes, he is."

Audrey seemed to weigh that information in her mind for a moment. "Miss Amy doesn't like me," she stated in a near whisper.

"Oh, honey. Why do you think that?" Donna swore her heart practically broke in half. How could anyone give this sweet little girl the impression that they didn't like her?

Audrey bit her lip, clearly hesitant to continue. "Her voice sounds funny when she talks to me. And she doesn't smile at me the same way you do. She just talks to Daddy and ignores me."

Donna was fairly sure that if she came across Amy Gardner in the next five minutes she would read her the riot act. What in the hell was she thinking? Did Josh know about this and let Audrey go on thinking this way?

"Donna? Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes. Of course."

"I really wish you were the person who loved me and Daddy instead of Miss Amy."

Donna felt like she'd been doused with a glass of cold water. What could she possibly say to that? She did love Josh and Audrey, there was no denying that. She let out a breath, tucking Audrey's loose curl behind her ear. She'd always told Audrey that honesty was the best policy, so she figured she had to practice what she preached. "I do love you," Donna assured her. 

Audrey's attention snapped up to Donna at that moment. "You do?"

"Of course I do. “You know that, Sweet Pea. Don’t you?”

Audrey studied Donna's face for a long time. "But Miss Amy said that it's your job to spend time with us."

Donna's blood was near boiling. There were most certainly going to be words the next time she bumped into Amy Gardner. 

"Audrey Joan, listen to me," Donna sat her spoon down and bent over until she was eye level with Audrey. "It's my job to help Daddy and Papa Leo in the office, that's true. But it's not my job to love you, or to be Daddy's friend, okay? I do that because I want to. When I spend time with you, that's not because it's my job, okay?"

Audrey nodded her head in slow comprehension.

"Do you understand," Donna asked softly, wanting to leave no room for discrepancy. 

"Yes," Audrey held her arms out to Donna, who quickly wrapped her in a hug. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

Donna sat Audrey down and placed the dirty bowl into the dishwasher. She cleaned Audrey up, changing her into her jammies so they could kick off their girls night with dinner and a movie. She was glad for a change of conversation, though their discussion wouldn't be far from her mind.

After two videos and a nail painting party Audrey was finally getting heavy eyelids.

"Okay, time for bed," Donna announced as the credits rolled on My Little Pony. "I'm just going to lock up."

"Donna?" Audrey sounded borderline panicked from the other room, causing Donna to bolt over to her.

"Donna, I forgot Walter." The little girl's brown eyes were blinking quickly as she tried not to cry over the realization that her favorite stuffed bunny wasn't in her little backpack.

Donna, who was well versed in the importance of Walter at bedtime, had to think fast. "Well, maybe Walter is having a night with all of his friends while we have our girls night," she tried. "Do you want to sleep with my bear?"

Audrey was momentarily distracted. "You have a bear?"

"I do," Donna nodded. "From when I was a little girl." She walked over to her closet and flipped on the light, pulling down a small box of things from her parents house and unearthing a well worn teddy bear.

Audrey eyed the bear skeptically. "What's his name."

"Patrick," she replied, pulling Audrey in close. "Do you think you can snuggle with Patrick for the night? Keep him company for me?"

Audrey's little lip quivered slightly. "I miss Walter," she whispered. Donna could tell Audrey was trying her hardest to be brave about this, but it was a losing battle.

"Go get your toothbrush, Sweet Pea," Donna told her, kissing the top of her head. "I'll see what I can do."

As Audrey dug through her backpack Donna pulled her phone out and called Josh, stepping into the other room for a bit of privacy. It went to his machine.

"Hi. I'm so sorry to interrupt your night…"

"Donna?" He picked up, obviously fumbling the phone in the process. "Is everything okay?"

"Um, Walter is at your place," she told him. "But yes, we're fine. I didn't mean to disturb…"

Josh laughed softly. "I forgot to pack Walter. I'd definitely say that constitutes an emergency."

"I shouldn't have called…"

"No," Josh interrupted quickly. "I'm glad you did. You can… you know, call me. I can have him over there in 30 minutes. Will that work?"

"What? Josh, you can't interrupt your evening to bring a bunny over here," she whispered. 

"Can. And will," Josh told her defiantly. "See you in a bit." 

And with that the call was disconnected. 

Thirty minutes later Donna answered the knock at her door.

"Special delivery," Josh announced, holding Walter out to Audrey, who was elated to see her bunny. "Go get your bag, kiddo."

Audrey froze, looking at her father. "But… I'm staying with Donna. We're having a slumber party. We have plans tomorrow, Daddy!"

Donna was confused too. Wasn't Amy at his house for a night of wild sex or something? "It's really fine, Josh," Donna assured him.

"You have plans?" This caught Josh off guard.

Audrey nodded earnestly. "Yes. We're doing brunch. With CJ and Carol."

Josh laughed at his daughter's panache. 

"Audrey," Donna interjected, "why don't you go pick up the puzzle you were playing with so I can talk to your Dad?"

Audrey ran to the far corner of Donna's living room and Donna refocused her attention. "What happened with Amy?"

Josh shrugged his shoulders, watching Audrey move around the room picking up with her bunny under one arm, singing a little bit. "It’s over," he stated somewhat absently. 

"Josh…" 

He flicked his gaze over to meet Donna's. "It's just… it didn’t work out," he told her. Amy hadn't really understood his need to pop out and deliver a stuffed bunny in the middle of their night together. And Josh, for his part, hadn't understood why, when he had a perfectly attractive woman in his apartment, his heart still skipped a beat when he heard Donna's voice on his machine. 

"Wanna come in?" she nodded towards the couch, and Josh took his coat off. Donna whispered something to Audrey, who smiled brightly at her father and then took off towards the kitchen with Donna.

"I made you a cookie," Audrey proclaimed a moment later, offering the biggest one in the pile to Josh and standing watch while he tried it.

Donna looked on, listening to Josh praise his daughter over her baking, pulling her onto his lap. She knew she needed to talk to Josh about her conversation earlier with Audrey, but this wasn't the time or place. If she didn't know better, she would have thought her boss and friend was nursing a bit of a broken heart. 

"You can stay here with Donna," she heard Josh tell Audrey, "if you promise to be on best behavior. Do you promise?"

Audrey nodded animatedly and Josh kissed her goodnight. "Go lay down, shortcake. I'll say goodbye before I leave."

"You're sure this is okay," he double checked with Donna.

"Of course," she confirmed. "And when was the last time you had a night off? You should call Sam and go out for a beer."

Josh shrugged his shoulders. "Nah."

"Oh. Well, in that case, there's beer and leftover pizza in my fridge and I'll get the stuff to make up the couch. We're having a slumber party, you know," Donna quipped. "You're welcome to stay."

Josh smiled genuinely for the first time in weeks. "Sounds absolutely perfect."


	25. Chapter 25

“You got a haircut.” Donna fell into step beside him.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, somewhat annoyed with her observation. “Ever the observant assistant.”

“Why?” She narrowed her gaze at him. It was much shorter than normal, and frankly she found his wild curls to be quite appealing. 

“Gum,” he swallowed hard, still in a bit of a huff.

“You got gum in your hair?” She raised her eyebrows in muted amusement. 

“Audrey.” He stated flatly. 

“Audrey isn’t allowed to have gum,” Donna stated flatly.

“Donna, I think I know what she is and isn’t allowed to have.”

“But you seem to have missed the memo on gum.”

“Donna, she wanted a gumboil. I told her she could have one if she didn’t swallow it. I was just going to let her chew it for a minute.”

“It’s not actually the chewing that is the problem,” Donna began. “It’s that she tries to blow bubbles and just spits out the piece of gum.”

“Are you under the impression that you’re providing me with new information right now?” He stopped to look at her, gesturing towards his short hair. 

She paused for a beat, making a face. It was all coming together now. Donna suppressed a laugh, though not very successfully. “No, I suppose not.” She fell back into step beside him. “But you’re late for Senior Staff and as soon as you’re done there you have a meeting on social security in the Roosevelt Room.”

“Kay,” he muttered, tossing his backpack into a visitor’s chair in his office and beginning to rummage through it. “Do me a favor,” he asked her, pulling out a children’s book. “Make sure the Italian ambassador gets that.”

“The Little Red Lighthouse and The Great Grey Bridge? This is Audrey’s?”

“No,” he explained, “she has a one, though. I took her to that children’s bookstore by my apartment last night and I saw they had a copy. He’d been looking for it.”

“You’re discussing children’s books with Alberto Fedrigotti?”

“It… came up. Will you just make sure he gets it?”

“Got it,” she told him, sticking the book under her arm to move on to the next piece of information she needed to provide him. “You have an 11:30 with Babbish, a 1:00 on the hill.”

“Great,” Josh muttered sarcastically. 

“Your parent teacher conference is at 3:30, and you have to be back here to meet with Leo and State by 4:45. So, should I plan to pick her up while you’re in that?”

“We can just get her after our meeting and bring here back here while we finish up.”

“You want me to sit in on that with you?”

He raised his eyebrows, a somewhat vulnerable expression on his face. “That’s not obvious at this point?”

Donna smiled softly at him. “I’ll be ready to go.”

OoOoOoOoO

After a parent teacher conference that left Josh beaming with pride, the three returned to the White House to finish the day. Josh, or rather Donna, had scheduled him fairly lightly knowing that they’d have Audrey, but things still popped up. 

Josh sat behind his desk reading a memo while Audrey was situated across from him in a visitors chair, snacking on some fruit and cheese and coloring. 

“Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“Are there more trees or birds in the world?”

“Trees,” he answered, not even having to pause his reading. 

“Are there more trees or people in the world?”

“Trees.” Josh’s eyes flicked over to her. Audrey was still drawing intently with a purple crayon. 

 

“Are there more flowers or trees in the world?”

“DONNA!”

“You bellowed?” She appeared in the doorway almost immediately. 

“Audrey has some questions for you,” he told her. “And I have a meeting with Toby and the NEA.”

Josh stood and slipped on his suit jacket, leaning down to give Audrey a kiss on the forehead. “Stay with Donna. I won’t be too long and then we can go home, okay?”

Audrey turned nodded her consent before turning around in her chair and giving Donna a grin, hopping down and rushing over to take her hand. “Donna, how many fish are there in the sea?”

Josh shook his head and chuckled to himself, heading down the hallway for his meeting.

OoOoOoOoO

"Your 5:30 appointment is here," Carol couldn't control the smile she was trying to mask as CJ paused in front of her desk. 

"My 5:30? I have a 5:30?" CJ searched her mind over twice but couldn't come up with who her appointment could be as she peeked into her office. 

"CJ!" Audrey jumped up and ran to the press secretary, giving her a grin and a huge hug. 

"Hey, kiddo! What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for Daddy," Audrey offered, making her way back to Donna. 

"Audrey has something to ask you," Donna tried to gently coax it out of the little girl, reflexively reaching down to smooth her hair. 

Audrey looked at Donna and gave her a smile, turning her attention back to CJ. 

"It's my turn for show and tell," Audrey jumped right in, her animated speaking style clearly an inherited trait from her father. 

CJ sat down, a proud smile sneaking across her face. She thought she knew where this was going. She was the voice of the president, after all. It wouldn't be so out of left field for a little girl to want to take her to show and tell. 

She caught the eye of Toby, Sam and Josh, who clearly needed to be in a meeting but had stopped to lean in her doorway and listen, shooting them a wink. 

"...And I asked my teacher and she said..." Audrey's attention strayed from CJ as she looked over at Donna, already knowing who she was going to need to convince. "She said I could bring her," Audrey told her earnestly. 

Donna nodded her head. "I know. Ask her," she encouraged Audrey to keep going. 

CJ was beyond flattered. 

"CJ?" Audrey stepped forward to the large desk. "Can I bring Gail to show and tell?"

The moment still would have been rather sweet if not for the hysterical laughter that erupted from the doorframe. The three other senior staffers weren't able to contain themselves, practically doubling over as they cackled. It was the hardest Toby had laughed in years.

OoOoOoOoO

“Is she here yet?” Josh peeked into Donna’s cubicle. 

“No. We just dropped her off at school not even two hours ago. You have to get some work done today, Josh! You’re both going to be miserable if you’re too busy to speak to her class.”

“But you’ll let me know when they get here?”

“Yes,” she promised. “Though it’s hardly her first visit to the White House. Now go get some reading done,” she shooed him back into his office.

 

Twenty minutes later Donna peeked in to Josh’s office. “They’re here,” she announced.

Josh gave her a smile, his dimples popping out, and hopped up, walking with Donna to the lobby where they were met by 15 preschoolers, most of whom were fairly apathetic about their White House tour. 

But midway down the line of children stood a very excited Audrey Lyman, bouncing on the balls of her feet, brimming with excitement and wearing a full dimpled grin that matched her father’s precisely. 

“Good Morning,” Josh stepped through security to greet the class and the teachers, extending his hand to welcome the head of the preschool. 

“Good Morning, Mr. Lyman. Nice to see you again.”

Josh welcomed the adult staff to the White House, giving them a quick rundown of how the morning would go, with some last minute changes due to scheduling conflicts. 

Donna, who had been carrying an armful of visitor ID’s, made quick work of finding a place to temporarily store 15 tiny coats and then distributing the ID lanyards with Audrey’s help. Two children were assigned to each adult, the four teachers and three parent volunteers immediately on edge at the thought of a broken national relic. Donna and Josh accompanied Audrey and the three lead the way through the busy West Wing corridors.

Josh paused every so often to explain, in a level that the kids would understand, what happened in a certain room, or why a particular painting on the walls was important. He wasted very little time, though, as he knew that this particular part of the day wouldn’t hold the kids’ attention. Audrey took special consideration to introduce the class to Gail the Goldfish.

He ushered the class into the Roosevelt Room, taking a quick detour when he heard Toby yelling in the communications bullpen.

“Uh oh,” Audrey had remarked. ”Uncle Toby is a grumpy bear today.”

The kids climbed into their seats around the table and stared blankly at Josh. “So,” he took the lead, shoving his hands into his pockets and bouncing a bit. “Like I said earlier, my name is Josh Lyman and I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff, which means I work here, in the White House, for President Bartlet. But most of you probably know me as Audrey’s Dad.” 

Donna watched him beam with pride at that statement.

"Yeah?" He pointed to a little boy in what is apparently a very itchy a blue sweater, who already had a question. "Uhh..." he looked at Donna, unsure of the child's name.

"James," Donna supplied.

“Yes, James?”

James put his hand down and stared at Josh. "My dad says you're all liars."

"Your dad sounds like a real creative genius," Josh snarked, forgetting for a moment where he was.

"Joshua!" Donna whisper scolded. 

"You can tell your father that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that I said his is wrong. And Todd, maybe you can buy him a thesaurus for a holiday gift because that's the third time I've heard that particular phrase this morning." 

Donna shook her head. "The Fifty States," she reminded him, getting him back on track. 

"Right," he jumped back into it. "As you've been learning there are 50 states, the District of Columbia, and 6 territories in the United States. And the President of the United States was elected by the people as the leader of the entire United States. So, today you’re here to see where that all takes place. I think your teacher explained this to you?”

Ms. Melissa piped in as if on cue. “We’ve learned about a different state every day for the last two months. And we’ve colored a map that we’re going to give to…” Ms. Melissa looked to Audrey.

“My friend Charlie!” Audrey piped in.

Josh nodded. “The President’s body man. That’s a great thing to do. They’ll display it in the outer office.”

“Charlie. Okay,” Ms. Melissa continued. She was slightly overwhelmed to be standing where she was, and Donna had long wondered if she was secretly a member of Josh’s fan club. “So, we’ll give the drawing to Charlie. And we’ve made the tree ornaments that Ms. Moss requested.”

“Great,” Josh piped in. “They save space on the District of Columbia Tree in the Pathway of Peace. It’s the walkway surrounding the National Christmas Tree,” he explained to the teachers before turning his attention back to Audrey’s class. “There are 57 Christmas trees, one for each state, territory and DC. Each tree contains handmade ornaments from residents. So the ornaments you’ve made will be placed on the tree for DC. Any questions?”

A little boy, sitting on the far end of the table, shot his hand into the air, eager to be called on. “Yeah?” Josh pointed at the child, already apprehensive about what the “question” would be. “What’s your name?”

“James,” Donna supplied.

“I thought he was James,” Josh gestured to the boy in the itchy blue sweater. 

“That’s James R.,” Audrey supplied, pointing to the boy in the sweater, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And that’s James B.,” she pointed at the boy with his hand raised.

“Don’t point, Audrey,” Donna reflexively chimed in, gently redirecting Audrey’s hand. “It’s not nice.”

“Okay, James B. What’s your question?”  
“I’m bored.” He stated. 

“James!” Ms. Melissa interjected. “We are using our best manners today.”

“It’s really okay,” Josh laughed. He was well aware of the attention span of kids this age. “Now that you've had your tour of the West Wing, we're going to go into the Oval Office and meet President Bartlet. I think your teacher already told you how important it is that you NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.”

“Okay,” Ms. Melissa instructed, “Everyone find your partner and your teacher. We’re going to walk quietly and do just as Mr. Lyman instructed and not touch anything on the way, alright?”

Josh opened the door, Audrey and Donna in tow, and started out towards The Oval. Even after the repeated warnings not to touch anything, both James’ ran their hands along the walls as they walked, opening every possible drawer they could find and knocking over a stack of papers on Ed’s desk, which turned out to be a portion of the 2,000 page appropriations bills. 

Upon the realization of what had just happened, Josh picked up the pace and lead the kids further down the hallway before 15 preschoolers inadvertently learned some new four letter words. "That kid has to be a Republican... I can spot 'em a mile away,” Josh quietly snarked to Donna.

Rounding the corner to cut through communications, the troupe encountered Toby, pacing in front of his office, squeezing a racquetball in his hand. He was just beginning the mental outline of the State of the Union.

“Hi, Uncle Toby!” Audrey exclaimed. “Whatcha’ doin? Bangin’ around?” She looked up at him with wide eyed adoration. The two had a special bond, and Toby showed a level of kindness and protection to Audrey that was otherwise rarely displayed. 

“I am,” he cleared his throat. “And just what are you doing?”

“Going to see the President,” Audrey supplied. “This is my class,” she stated, turning around to the 14 other preschoolers and the chaperones. “This is my Uncle Toby,” she announced. “He writes words and eats pie.”

“Communications Director,” Josh amended in an aside to the adults. 

“They’re out of pie,” Toby muttered.

“Is that why you’re a grumpy bear?” Audrey asked.

Toby cleared his throat. “Perhaps.”

Seemingly out of the blue, Toby felt a swift kick to the shin. “Ow,” he stated in a monotone, glancing down to see a tiny scowl on a little boy in a red plaid button up. “And just what is your name,” he asked, swiftly going into protector mode and readying himself to make a mental note to never let Audrey associate with this particular child. 

“Jeffrey,” the child retorted, sticking his tongue out when he was sure his teacher wasn’t looking.

“Jeffrey what?” Toby straightened his tie.

“Jeffrey Allister Haffley the 4th,” the child stated with an edge, almost daring Toby to react poorly.

"Of course,” Toby stated with a sarcastic chuckle.”Of course your name is Jeffrey Haffley the 4th. You would be the one that kicked me in the shin. Unprovoked, I might add.”

“Okay, well, let’s get moving,” Josh began ushering the group along once again.

“It’s okay,” Audrey assured Toby with a pat on the arm as they all filed out. “He bit me last week.”

Toby immediately swooped in and lifted Audrey into his arms. “You stay over here,” he instructed Jeffrey. “I will discuss the biting with your teacher and your father later.” 

Upon their arrival in the outer office to The Oval, Audrey waved hello to Charlie, Toby letting her down only after Jeffrey was on the other side of the room. Charlie launched into his greeting, gratefully accepting the class’ drawing and introducing himself to the class. 

Toby stood near Josh, lowering his voice. “Jeffrey bit Audrey last week.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not the first time,” Josh was just as unamused with the situation.

“What are we going to do about this?”

“We?” Josh raised his eyebrows. 

“It seems like there should be a, a, a punishment. Or a course of corrective action.”

“Donna and I met with his mom on Tuesday.”

“And?”

“And what? He’s three and a half years old. They’re working on it and the teachers are keeping Audrey separated from him.”

“Do you want me to get into it?”

“Do I want you to get into it? What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“With Haffley,” Toby began, staring at a point on the wall behind Josh. “I could have a word with him. It would keep it out of your office but still have a lasting impression.” Toby shifted his weight.

“NO, I don’t want you to GET INTO IT!”

The room turned to stare at the two men. “Sorry,” Josh muttered, motioning for Charlie to continue speaking. “Toby, listen to me. Let it go. I appreciate it but let’s not halt the President’s legislative agenda to ‘get into it’ about which kids aren’t getting along at preschool.” 

Toby, clearly not pleased with that response, straightened his tie. “The offer is always on the table.”

“Thanks, Toby,” Josh clapped his shoulder appreciatively as Charlie opened the door to The Oval. 

The class filed in and stood in a line towards the back wall of the room as the President rounded his desk to lean on the front, removing his glasses to address the kids. “Good Morning!” he greeted.

“Good Morning, Mr. President,” the class chorused in unison as they’d been instructed. 

The President spoke briefly to the class about a very watered down version of his job as a few additional members of Senior Staff filed in to listen. 

The connecting door to the Chief of Staff’s office opened quietly to reveal Leo and Edith, her camera at the ready. 

“Now,” the President continued, “I’m sure that there are several of you in the room who have parents that work in the federal government in some capacity.” It was the nature of the beast when you attended preschool in Georgetown, they supposed. “But Miss Lyman’s father works for me, so that’s part of what we’re going to discuss today. Audrey, come on up here, please.”

Audrey didn’t waste any time making her way to stand next to President Bartlet, who popped her up to sit on the side of the Resolute Desk.

"Audrey’s father is my Deputy Chief of Staff,” the President continued. “But what does that mean, exactly?” President Bartlet was met with blank stares. “Audrey, do you know what it is that your father does here?"

She shrugs animatedly. She'd never really thought about it before, but she gave the most honest answer she could. "Whatever Donna tells him?" 

That drew a hearty laugh from Sam and CJ, who were standing in the corner. Donna's smile widened and Josh just shook his head. He was never going to hear the end of that.

"Boy, I'll say," Leo remarked. 

"Oh, Josh," President Bartlet chuckled. "I can't wait to tell Abbey about this."

"Yes, sir," Josh laughed too, his hand finding the small of Donna's back. But he had to admit, his daughter wasn't wrong about that.

“Well, while Audrey is right in a certain capacity,” the President continued. “His job is also to help create laws. He works hard to make sure that everyone in this country, especially those of your generation, can be whatever they want to be. That you all have access to schools, and doctors and food to eat.”

Most of the children turned their heads to stare at Josh again as the President paused briefly before resuming his speech, encouraging the preschool class to be involved in their communities. “Decisions are made by those who show up,” he mused, more for the adults in the room. “And the 15 of you have already shown up, bringing along what I hear are finely crafted ornaments for our Christmas tree. The future is bright,” he told him with a smile. “Now, let’s get a photo.”

The class crowded around in front of the President and the White House photographer snapped a few photos before Charlie lead the class back into the outer office to don their winter gear and head out to the National Christmas Tree. 

“Hold on, Audrey,” President Bartlet requested. “Let’s get one more photo while your classmates find their coats. Josh, Donna, Leo,” he gestured for the three to join them, President Bartlet sitting Audrey on his hip as Leo rest his hand proudly on the little girls back. Donna stood on the other side of the President as Josh wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. The camera flashed several times before the President handed Audrey over to Josh.

He kissed her goodbye, sending her to meet up with the rest of her class, who were going to be escorted to the District of Columbia tree and back to their small bus by an usher. 

“Have fun out there,” Donna told Audrey, giving her a quick kiss. 

“Bubbe will pick you up. I’ll see you at home,” Josh kissed her forehead. “Bye, Shortcake,” he sat her down and she hurried off to join her class, pausing briefly in the doorway and waving goodbye with a tiny smile. 

“Alright,” the President’s voice commanded. “What’s next?"


	26. Chapter 26

"Josh Lyman's office." Donna hit the speakerphone button and continued to scribble a note from behind Josh's desk.

"Donna?"

"Edith?" Donna stood up, immediately tuned in to the sound of Audrey wailing in the background. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, dear," the older woman offered quickly. "Audrey and I are just having a little... disagreement. We're at the Town Centre Mall, could you possibly come over here?"

Donna heard the borderline exasperation in Edith's voice as she attempted to calm Audrey down.

"But she's alright? You're sure? What happened?"

"She's fine, Donna. Really. I promised her she could get her ears pierced for Hanukkah and we were halfway through the process..."

"Say no more. I'll be right there," Donna told her.

As soon as Donna ended the call and glanced up she saw Josh, frozen in the doorway with his jaw set.

"Get your coat," she told him, needing him to get into gear rather than launch into the tirade she knew was coming. He could do that in the car. Donna grabbed her purse as Josh muttered something under his breath. Once inside the vehicle, Josh's mood didn't lighten.

"How long have you known about this," he snapped at Donna, making a sudden lane change and accelerating past several vehicles.

Donna raised her eyebrows and stared at him. "About thirty seconds longer than you have, Joshua."

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead at the roadway.

"What's wrong there, Rambo?"

"I just can't believe she would do this," he was growing more irate by the minute. "I mean, she didn't even ask us!"

"And you're vehemently opposed to pierced ears?" Donna was trying to pin down the source of the problem before their arrival at the mall caused a scene. He'd been unusually high strung, even for Josh, the last few days.

"Yes!" Josh blurted out. "Well, no," he then admitted, confusing even himself. "I don't know. That's not the point. The point is that she didn't say a word about it. She just made the decision and went out to have it done. What, did she think we wouldn't notice when we picked her up tonight?"

"I don't know about any of that. But she probably didn't think it would bother you like this," Donna offered.

"She's too young," Josh continued his rant. "She doesn't need to look like a teenager with, with... earrings! What if they get infected? What if she pulls them out!"

"Josh, plenty of little girls, even babies, have pierced ears. It's a rite of passage. And you know I'm not going to let anything get infected," she reached over and lightly touched his arm as they found a parking space. "Just try to stay calm, okay," Donna offered. "We're in a public place and your mother and Audrey are upset, too. You don't want to say anything you'll regret later."

As they made their way through the crowds of holiday shoppers, Jingle Bell Rock playing overhead, Josh and Donna found Edith and Audrey exactly where they'd been for the past 40 minutes. They were both relieved to see the tears had halted completely.

"Daddy!" Audrey shouted from where she sat on the bench.

"Hi, Shortcake," Josh crouched down in front of her. "What are you doing here?" Josh tried to keep his tone light and playful.

"Shopping with Bubbe," Audrey offered, swinging her feet a bit. "We got you new shoes," Audrey stated, unable to keep a secret regarding Edith's holiday gift purchases. "And a sweater for Donna. It's purple like my room."

Edith shook her head and chuckled quietly at the ruined surprises.

"Audrey Joan," Josh faked confusion, "what's on your ear?" He pointed to the tiny silver stud on her right ear.

"It's an earring, Daddy." Audrey was borderline exasperated that he even had to ask.

"An earring, huh?"

Audrey sat up tall and turned her head slightly so Josh could get a better look. "Don't I look pretty, Daddy?"

"Well, I think you looked pretty before, baby girl," Josh offered.

Donna stood next to him, watching her normally off the rails boss transform into the calm, stable presence in front of his daughter. She lightly placed her hand on his shoulder in quiet support.

"Okay," Josh reached forward to tuck Audrey's hair out of the way. "Time to take it out."

"Noooo," Audrey protested rather loudly, moving away from his touch. "Bubbe promised! She said I could have pretty earrings for Hanukkah! I'm a big girl!"

Josh leaned back a bit. "Well, if you want earrings you have to get the other one pierced."

"No, Daddy, it hurts!" Audrey protested.

Josh sighed. "Well, it has to be one or the other," he told her.

"Joshua," Edith began, "maybe we should just give her some time. She was quite upset earlier and..."

"Ma," Josh stood, "I really don't want to get into it right here. It's one or the other."

Donna sat down on the bench next to Audrey as Josh and Edith began a tense conversation in hushed tones.

"Hi, baby girl."

"Hi, Donna," Audrey gave her a huge smile. "Do you like my earring?"

"It's very fancy," Donna told her.

"It hurt," Audrey admitted to Donna. "Like a punch but worse."

"I know it did," Donna assured, smoothing her hair as Audrey leaned in to Donna's side. "But it only hurt for a minute or two, right? It's better now?"

Audrey thought about it for a moment, realizing that she was no longer in pain and nodding in agreement to Donna's assessment.

"That's right. I remember when I got my ears pierced," Donna offered.

Audrey looked up at her in awe. "You do?"

"Of course. I was in the third grade. It was a Christmas gift, just like yours is a Hanukkah gift."

"Were you scared?" Audrey asked.

"A little bit," Donna assured. "But I really wanted to wear my new earrings. And I knew I had to be brave or I couldn't wear my new earrings."

"Maybe I can try to be brave," Audrey told Donna.

"Do you want to go back inside and pick out a pair earrings while you think about it," Donna offered.

Audrey nodded her head in confirmation and took Donna's hand following her into the store, and catching Edith and Josh's attention.

Edith moved to follow them but Josh motioned for her to stay outside with him, looking on into the store as Audrey pointed out what she wanted to Donna, and then crawled onto Donna's lap and sat patiently as she let the attendant pierce her other ear.

Donna kissed her on the forehead and told her she'd done a great job, paying for the petite purple butterfly earrings Audrey had selected and returning to join Edith and Josh outside the store.

"All done," Donna announced. "Now, we've all had a rough afternoon, so why don't we all head over to find some ice cream?" She didn't leave any time for response. "Come on," she told them, looping her arm around Josh's and toting Audrey with them as she gave Edith a warm smile.

When they rounded the corner inside the mall near the ice cream shop, Donna continued to handle the situation. "Audrey and I will get the ice cream," she announced. "You two find a table."

Josh and Edith stood in silence for a few moments, Josh's foul mood very noticeable to Edith.

"Talk to me, son."

Josh glanced over to his mom but he gave his head a slight shake 'no,' and scowled. He was upset, and he was concerned about saying something in anger. Truthfully, he knows just how much his Mother does for him. He could never raise Audrey on his own. But still . . . . she should have asked him.

"Joshua David…" Her tone of voice compels him to respond.

"You want to talk? Alright. Let's talk," he sat down with a huff. "That's my little girl. And believe me when I tell you, Mom, that I know couldn't raise her alone. And I really do appreciate all you do for us. But at the end of the day, there are some things that are up to me."

"And this was one of them?" Edith was truly amazed at Josh's reaction to this. She didn't think this was that big of a deal.

"YES! God, Mom, of course I want to be involved in things like this! She's growing up faster than I can comprehend anyway, I don't want to miss out on raising her. I'm not saying that I would have said no or fought you on it, just… run it by us next time."

"Wait a minute, Us?" His Mom gets an evil smile. "And who exactly is this 'us' I need to run it by next time? Hmmm?"

"Mom, I'm not getting into this right now."

"Avoidance, Joshua. You refuse to ever 'get into it.'"

"That's not true."

"Maybe you should start with admitting to yourself how you really feel."

"I'm not in denial, Mom. I just... can't. There's too much at risk."

"You really are blind."

"I'm not," Josh whispered harshly. "I'm not," he repeated, softening his tone as he watched Donna bend down and fix Audrey's hair. "I just... there's a lot going on right now. Things I can't tell you. Things I can't tell her. Things I can't tell anyone."

"Joshua, you don't have to take on the weight of the world."

His face wore a sad smile. "I may not have a choice."

But before Edith could continue to question him, Donna and Audrey returned with everyone's ice cream and Josh plastered on a bright smile.

"Alright," Donna narrated her actions as she passed out the ice cream scoops while Audrey climbed into a chair beside Josh. "Peppermint for me, sugar free butter pecan for Edith, birthday cake with sprinkles for Audrey and a hot fudge sundae with extra marshmallow and no nuts for Josh."

The four ate and chat, Audrey giving an over the top description of what she'd seen in the toy store window. Feelings were repaired with every passing minute. Somehow, Donna always knew exactly what they needed.

"Okay," Josh looked at his watch. "We better head out." He kissed his mother on the cheek and Audrey on the forehead. "I'll see you later, Shortcake. Be good for Bubbe."

He picked up his remaining portion of sundae and strolled leisurely towards the exit, Donna in perfect step beside him. As they reached the exit he took one last bite and moved to discard his small paper bowl.

"Wait!" Donna interjected, immediately blushing at her own outburst.

Josh wore a smug grin on his face. "Yeeessss?" He drawled. He knew what she wanted, but he was going to make her ask for it.

Donna reached towards him, but he pulled away, still grinning.

"Can I have it?"

Josh contorted his face as though he was confused.

"Jooosh…"

"Oh, would you like my cherry, Donnatella?" He was practically bouncing as he bantered with her. "Because I could, perhaps, be persuaded to share. For, say, a trade."

She gave him a playful pout. "You don't even like cherries."

"But you do. And I, therefore, have the upperhand. You see, Donna, that's an important tactic in politics."

Donna rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm being serious," he told her, acting intentionally pompous to get a rise out of her. "It's all about the upper hand when you negotiate. That and catching them off guard. I'm a master negotiator, Donna."

"What do you want?"

"Get me out of my 3:00 meeting with Bob Slattery early."

"Deal," she reached over and snatched his maraschino cherry, popping the entire thing into her mouth.

He raised one eyebrow as he watched her stand there, staring him down with a mischievous look on her face as her cheeks contorted for a quick moment before Donna produced the stem of the cherry, tied into a perfect knot.

Josh's jaw dropped. His mind went to places he tended not to let it.

Donna casually dropped the knotted stem back into the small plastic ice cream cup he was holding as she walked away, intentionally putting an extra sway into her hips, as she left Josh standing where he was, shell shocked.

"Come on, Joshua," she called over her shoulder. "You can teach me more in the car."

Josh gulped. God, he'd like to. If only she knew.

OoOoOoOoO

"He's going to be fine," Donna came up behind Josh and rest a hand on his shoulder, placing a warm mug in front of him. "It's Leo. He's built out of granite, Josh."

"I'll think of something," Josh muttered. "I have to think of something."

"What you have to do," Donna interrupted his thoughts, "is finish reading this memo so you can meet with the President in twenty minutes and then get to your Mom's house for dinner."

"Yeah." He scrubbed his hand over his face. He'd been consumed with finding a way to spare Leo from having to testify before the House, but he was currently at a loss. He had a few stall tactics in mind, but he wasn't sure they would be enough.

Donna remained where she was, her hands gently grazing across his shoulders and neck, back and forth, gently relieving the tension that currently resided inside of him. "You'll talk to me? When you're ready and if you can?" It was all she could offer him, but she wanted him to know that she was there for him. She always was. And she was tuned to him. She knew something was happening. Something about Leo's deposition had gotten under his skin and it was festering.

Josh reached up and gently clasp her hand where it rest, giving it a gentle squeeze. He couldn't currently find the words that he needed but he hoped his actions conveyed his emotions. "Always, Donnatella," he stated simply. "Thank you." Josh stood and grabbed the folder he'd need to brief the President, kissing her on the forehead. "You're coming to dinner?" he confirmed.

She nodded softly, her hand moving down from his shoulders and gently rubbing his back before he stepped away.

And in that moment, Donna was particularly glad that their relationship had recovered from the tumultuous events of the last 6 months. They'd moved on from Cliff and Amy. Neither had any place in their life. She and Josh were friends again, and if anything their friendship was even stronger. And she never felt more confident in her place in Audrey's life. Co-parenting with Josh fulfilled her in ways she'd never imagined. They'd weathered this storm. And if something else was brewing, well, she'd stand beside him through that, too.


	27. Chapter 27

There were ways to get Gibson out of the room. He'd made a career out of this.

But Leo had insisted that Josh not intervene. "Nothing but a family thing," he'd muttered. Leo was hellbent on holding his own with the members of The House. The hearing was going on and the time was coming for Gibson to have his turn questioning.

Leo's instructions didn't stifle Josh's determination. He continued to do what he did best, just to be ready should something need to happen. After all, the President himself wanted to see Leo spared the embarrassment and he'd placed his trust in Josh.

Josh tried all the angles, but no one was available. It was eating him up on the inside, but finally, Josh had to make the call. "Leo," he'd stated firmly, "I couldn't make it happen." He wasn't going to ramble or try and explain his failure. He'd let Leo down, and no one would be harder on Josh than himself. 

"Don't worry about it," Leo responded. And he meant it. He was ready for the fight. 

But when the committee suddenly adjourned before Gibson's questioning began, Josh was filled with renewed determination. Maybe he wouldn't have to let the President down.

OoOoOoO

“Come in, Come in,” CJ threw open her front door and ushered Josh, Donna and Audrey inside, immediately reaching down as Audrey gave her a hug. 

“Happy New Year, Ceej,” Donna offered, taking Audrey’s coat, hat and mittens from her as she shed them in the entryway before running into the party to give Charlie and Sam high fives. 

Josh greeted CJ as well before excusing himself to say hello to Toby who was smoking a cigar on CJ’s balcony. 

Donna helped CJ place the coats in her spare bedroom as the two caught up and CJ told Donna all about her trip to Ohio and the new digital camera she’d received for Christmas. They were interrupted by a little voice pressing her own political agenda without an ounce of hesitation. 

“Daddy!” Audrey knocked aggressively on the window to the balcony. “Tell Uncle Toby smoking is bad for you!”

Both men looked like deer caught in headlights, staring at Audrey and then glancing at each other. Neither had any defense in this one as Toby held a lit cigar. 

“Audrey, look!” Donna deflected. “I packed a puzzle.” She held up Audrey’s pink backpack and distracted her, Toby mouthing an uncomfortable ‘thank you,’ from where he stood. 

Friends and colleagues came and went through the course of the night, and everyone was in a wonderful mood, enjoying the food, drinks, and company. Donna had just finished a long overdue conversation with Charlie’s sister Deanna, who stopped in to say hello for a few moments.

“Donna, I’m thirsty,” Audrey tugged at the hem of Donna’s shirt. 

“I brought you some apple juice,” Donna guided her into CJ’s kitchen and opened the fridge before pulling a glass from the cabinet. 

“I want a fancy cup like you and Daddy,” Audrey pointed to the champagne flutes on CJ’s counter.

“Well of course you do,” CJ interjected with love. “It’s a special occasion and you’re a special girl.” She handed Donna a flute to fill with apple juice. 

“Okay,” Donna poured hesitantly, reading the writing on the walls for this little idea, “but be very careful,” she told Audrey. “I’ll carry it.”

“It’s fine,” CJ waived Donna off. “What’s the worst that could happen? She breaks it? I’ll buy a new one. Let her have a little fun tonight. She’s stuck hanging out with all of us.”

Donna shook her head in amusement. “Walk slowly,” she told Audrey, glad she’d only filled it about a third of the way up.

Audrey started towards the living room at a snail's pace, both hands on the flute and a look of concentration on her face, her tongue sticking out slightly. 

CJ began to chit chat with Donna about this and that, filling her in on Carol’s big date that evening. Their giggling was quickly interrupted by Josh bellowing from the next room. “Donna!”

Donna and CJ both peeked into the living room where Audrey stood next to her father, a scowl on her face and her arms crossed in protest as Josh held the flute of apple juice. “Someone gave her a champagne flute. And it’s good crystal,” he added. 

“It’s alright, Mi Amor,” CJ assured Josh. “I gave it to her. I wanted her to use it.”

Josh’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he handed it back to Audrey.

“Come on, Audrey,” Sam chimed in from the other side of the living room, “Uncle Toby and I will teach you how to deliver a proper toast.”

Audrey socialized a bit, putting together a puzzle and coloring on and off as the night went by. She started to get sleepy around bedtime, but tried to fight it as long as she could. 

“I want to see the magic ball,” she pouted. 

“It’s not magic,” Donna smiled, picking her up and kissing her forehead. “It’s just glittery. How about this,” Donna offered. “Let’s put your jammies on and you can take a little nap, and then I’ll wake you up to ring in the New Year?”

“Okay,” Audrey yawned her consent, resting her head on Donna’s shoulder. 

Three hours later, Audrey sleepily stumbled back out to the party, her wild curls sticking up in every direction as she rubbed her eyes as she wandered over to crawl into Josh’s lap. “Is it next year yet,” she asked sleepily.

“No, not yet,” Josh assured her, smoothing her hair. 

“Are you sure,” she asked, resting against him, her eyes fluttering closed once more. 

“I’m sure,” he whispered, enjoying the simple moment with her.

The party went on around them and Donna eventually wandered over and joined them on the couch, gently rubbing Audrey’s back as the three sat in content silence. Something had been off with Josh for the last week. She knew he’d been beating himself up because he wasn’t able to get Gibson out of the room in Leo’s testimony. And he hadn’t given up on his mission.

“Three minutes!” CJ announced, and Audrey struggled to pull herself from her near slumber, reaching for a purple foil noisemaker she’d kept a close eye on all evening. 

Josh stood and Donna grabbed a glass of champagne to toast in the New Year as the friends began the countdown, Audrey perking up a bit more with every passing moment. 

“Happy New Year!” They all cheered. Audrey blew a noise maker as the Bartlet senior staff joined in with small horns and bells for her amusement. 

Sam kissed CJ on the cheek as they heard fireworks begin all over the city. 

“Happy New Year,” Josh beamed at Donna. 

“Happy New Year,” She returned his sentiment, their gaze remaining locked for longer than normal. 

The moment was broken when Audrey took a deep breath and blew the noisemaker horn between them. Donna let out a genuine laugh. 

CJ circled around to them. “Say Happy New Year,” she raised a camera to snap a quick photo. 

“Happy New Year, Aunt CJ,” Audrey grinned, as Josh and Donna both leaned in and kissed her cheeks. 

CJ snapped a photo and looked down at the digital screen on her camera. “Oh,” she swooned, placing her hand on her heart. “You guys are my favorite little family,” she gushed before moving over to speak to Charlie. 

Josh smirked at Donna. “How much champagne has she had,” he asked, amused, standing Audrey on the floor to run over and celebrate with the other guests. 

Donna raised an eyebrow and laughed. “I don’t know but maybe we should figure it out for the next time you announce a secret plan to fight-“

“Yeah, yeah,” she interrupted, knowing what was coming. “You’re just a mouth full of wiseass today, aren’t you?” 

“Daddy!” Audrey shrieked as she came up behind him. “You said a bad word!”

“Sorry,” Josh apologized. “You’re right. That’s a bad word and I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Time out?” Audrey directed her attention to Donna. 

“No time out for Daddy,” Josh interjected. “Go get your things so we can head home. It’s WAY past your bedtime as it is. I’m sure Donna will punish me tomorrow,” he added, knowing he wouldn’t soon hear the end of it. 

“Yeah, you wish,” CJ muttered softly as she breezed by. 

Josh’s mouth fell open in borderline shock and Donna, though she tried, couldn’t help but to laugh outright. 

“Seriously,” Josh told Donna, smiling himself and not denying anything, “we’ve got to get her to drink more champagne.”

OoOoOoO

Donna bit her bottom lip, feeling immediately conflicted. She wasn’t even comfortable speaking to Cliff on the phone, she certainly wasn’t going to go behind Josh’s back and secretly meet with him. She flipped her phone open and clicked her first speed dial number.

Josh, pouring over a memo at his kitchen table, answered his phone on the first ring. 

“Yeah?” He didn’t even look away from the memo. 

“Josh?” She was somewhat hesitant from the get go.

“Hey,” he tried to keep his voice welcoming, reassuring her that if she needed something, she could talk to him. 

“Cliff Calley called me. He wants me to meet him in the Georgetown Law library to discuss something.”

He was immediately on full alert. “Donna, where are you?” 

“I’m in your office,” she told him. 

“Come over here,” Josh instructed her, leaving no room for argument in his voice. “Tell no one what is happening. Come straight here. Right now.”

“Okay,” she agreed, ending the call and grabbing her coat, making a beeline to a cab and heading straight to Josh’s brownstone. 

He was ready and waiting when she arrived. “You stay here with Audrey,” he told her. “I’m going to meet him.” 

She nodded her head in nervous agreement and he could see her worry. “You did the right thing when you called me,” he reassured here with a light touch, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face. “I’ll be back as soon as possible,” he told her, slipping out the door and hailing a cab. 

Donna perched herself on the edge of his couch, where she sat for the next hour. She couldn’t bring herself to relax. When she heard his key in the lock just past midnight she was immediately to her feet, a look of abject worry written all over her face.

“It’s really coming down out there,” he noted, removing his scarf and brushing the snow out of his hair. 

She simply watched him, unsure of what was to come next. 

“It’s fine, Donna,” he told her, though she didn’t believe him. Something had shifted inside him and she could see it, though it certainly wasn’t his usual man on a mission mentality peeking through. 

She stared at him curiously. 

“What did he say,” she asked with a certain degree of hesitancy in her voice. She knew better than to ask Josh a simple question such as that, but this seemed somehow different. 

“Nothing,” he shook his head, though his usual political mask didn’t cover everything his face was giving away. “But, hey, it’s late and it’s getting slick out there. You should just stay here.”

She paused a moment and blinked a few times. 

“It was an offer, Donna. He made an offer and I made a counter offer. He’s going to take it back to his leadership, I’m going to handle it on our side. It’s not something… I don’t want to get into it. I can’t get into it.”

That appeased her only slightly as she nodded her head. “Alright,” she agreed to drop the subject, for the time being, following Josh down the hallway and stealing a pair of his flannel pants and an old sweatshirt. 

She may not have been able to pinpoint what was on Josh’s mind, which was certainly working in overtime, but she could lay next to him for a few hours. And that was exactly what she’d do. 

OoOoOoO

Josh had barely been able to think about anything other than his meeting with Cliff Calley since he left the Georgetown Law Library in the middle of the night. The reality of the offer was only beginning to sink in, and Josh could only hope that he’d figure something else out. 

“Josh. Hold on a minute,” President Bartlet requested as the rest of senior staff was filing out of the Oval. Congress would return from recess the following day and Josh knew exactly what the President wanted to discuss.

President Bartlet flipped through a few pages of a memo and looked at Josh over the top of his glasses. “Your deal. Is it still on the table?”

“Yes, Sir,” Josh swallowed. 

“Are you going to be able to tell me what it is?”

“With all due respect, Mr. President, I think I need to keep you as far away from this as possible. And I certainly need to keep it out of The Oval.”

“The repercussions are that serious?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

President Bartlet stared at Josh intently. His Deputy Chief of Staff was the best in the business, there was no doubt about that. If there was a deal to be made in DC, Josh Lyman would do whatever it took to make it happen. 

President Bartlet nodded firmly to his Deputy. It was time. “Pull the ripcord, Josh.”

“Yes, sir.”


	28. Chapter 28

Donna woke slowly from her sleep, taking a moment to process what was happening. Why was she awake? Was there a noise? She couldn’t be sure. She rolled over and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, blinking a few times and glancing at the clock on her nightstand. 3:52am. Just then, her phone rang.

"Mmmpfh," she groaned, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. There was only one person calling at this time of day.

"What do you want, Joshua? I have to get up in an hour anyway," she whined. 

"Open your door, Donna."

She sat upright in bed. "Huh? You're here?"

"Yes, I'm right outside," he told her, holding the phone with his shoulder as he shifted a still sleeping Audrey to his other hip.

"And you're not bellowing," Donna teased. It may be the middle of the night but she could still banter with him. 

"Audrey's asleep," he told her, not a hint of humor in his voice. "Just open the door."

She was out of bed in a flash, throwing the locks open and letting Josh and Audrey inside, forgetting for a moment that she was sporting only a pair of panties and an oversized tshirt. A tshirt that she'd stolen from him at some point, actually. "What's wrong," she asked immediately, locking up behind them and quickly moving closer to him, reaching out to gently rub Audrey's back. 

"She's fine," Josh assured her, placing a large briefcase on the counter and glancing down at Audrey.

The little girl's eyes fluttered opened and found Donna, who gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Go back to sleep, sweet pea," Donna told her.

"Can I lay her down in your bedroom so we can talk?" He was all business this morning.

Donna nodded her head to Josh, wondering what could have possibly brought him over at this time of day. He looked awful- tired, worried, you name it. Whatever it was, Donna was sure it was important and she likely wouldn't be going back to bed any time soon. She shuffled to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

Josh eventually emerged, leaning on the counter to Donna's kitchen, lost in thought. The coffee maker beeped lightly and Donna stretched on her tip toes to reach the mugs on her top shelf, her shirt riding up and exposing her long, lean legs and the very bottom of her butt. Josh looked away, trying for restraint. He couldn't go there right now.

"Donna?" He squeaked, "Want to put on some… ya know… pants?" 

"Hmm?" She questioned, looking over at him, and then glancing down and turning a bright shade of pink. She sat the mugs on the counter and dashed into her room, quickly pulling on a pair of pajama shorts and a zip up sweatshirt before returning to the living room to take a seat and see what was eating Josh.

He followed her wordlessly, perching on the edge of the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees as he hung his head. He sat silently and very still, which set Donna on alert immediately. Josh was many things, but still was not typically one of them. 

He took a deep breath, obviously trying to determine where to begin. 

"Donna, I…" he trailed off, unsure of how to begin. He scrubbed his hands over his face and cleared his throat. "God, I don't know where to start," he admitted, leaning back into the cushions. 

She placed her hand gently on his forearm. "Josh, talk to me," she encouraged. "What's wrong?"

He closed his eyes and remained silent. 

"Is your Mom okay," she asked, trying to figure out what had him so flummoxed. 

"She's fine," he almost whispered, not adding anything else.

She studied his face a moment- he looked exhausted. He was so beat down. She could tell that something had been bothering him for the better part of a week, but given the state of affairs in the White House she also knew that there was much he couldn't discuss with her. 

"Joshua, you're scaring me," she told him.

"Donna, I trust you. Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she told him, furrowing her brow in confusion. What in the hell was he talking about?

"Okay. Well, I need you to trust me today. You know that I tell you as much as I can- but sometimes I just can't tell you everything." He stared at her, the political mask completely off, his vulnerability apparent. 

She nodded her head slowly. "I know."

He stared at her, moving to position himself on the couch so that they were facing each other. "Donna, I need you to take Audrey and get out of DC for a little while," he stated evenly, trying his best to remain calm, but the look in his eyes portrayed the urgency of his request. "My car is parked in front of your building and everything you'll need is packed."

"What?!" She couldn't hide her shock.

"Donna, I can't get into it. I explained things to Audrey the best that I could before we came over, so she won't be blindsided." The look he gave her spoke volumes- he just couldn't tell her what was going on. "I need you to pack a suitcase and get on the road as soon as possible, okay? Take her to my Mom's condo in Florida. I doubt anyone will look for you there." In his current emotional state, he couldn't help but to reach out and touch her, gently tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, pausing for a moment to cup her face.

"And they'll be… looking for us? Who? Oh, God, Josh, are you in danger?" She took his hand as he began to pull away from her, not wanting to lose contact with him.

"No, I’m not in danger," he told her quickly. "And you certainly aren't. I'm talking about the media. I just- I can't explain, Donna. I know I'm asking a lot, but I just need you to... blindly trust me on this one." His eyes pleaded with her.

She nodded her head slowly. "Okay.” She paused for a moment to make sure he understood her willingness to do as he asked without hesitation. “And you're sure you don't need me in the office?"

He shook his head. "I just need you to drive straight to my mother's condo. And I need you to be on the road within the hour, okay? Don't call anyone at the White House, that's... taken care of. And promise me you'll only answer your phone if its Leo or my mother, okay? Nobody else, nobody, until Leo gives you the go ahead."

"Josh..." she didn’t know what to say, but the fear in her voice spoke volumes. 

His face softened. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he assured her.

Something shifted inside of her at his words. He was being so genuine. He was, in that moment, so open, so gentile, so… vulnerable.

"I’m sorry, but I can't stay," he told her. "I'm just going to say goodbye to her," he told Donna, standing and walking back to Audrey. 

Donna remained sitting on the couch as Josh said goodbye to Audrey. She still had about a thousand questions but she knew she couldn't ask. She had to just trust him. 

He emerged a few minutes later, his eyes red and watery, and that's when Donna really became concerned. He walked back over towards her in the kitchen, his shoulders slumped, a defeated look in his eyes. 

She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him. Unsure of what else to do, she simply held him tight. Eventually he pulled back just enough to kiss her on the forehead, his lips slowly moving to leave feather light touches on her eyelids, a kiss on the nose, and her cheek, where he lingered, his face brushing against hers, and then gently on the corner of her mouth. It was though he was completely entranced by her, and she by him. For a few moments, they were spellbound. 

"Josh," she whispered, wanting more- wanting everything. Her hands ran up his chest to wrap around his neck, her fingers finally able to find their way into his curls.

But Josh knew he couldn't go any further. He'd already gone too far. He wouldn't do that to her- not now. Instead, he buried his face in her shoulder taking a deep, shaky breath and absorbing as much of her as he possibly could. He committed every detail to memory.

"God, Donna." The words, shaky and raw, finally escaped his lips as almost an admission. It was, Donna thought, almost as though he was apologizing for something.

"Josh, you’re scaring the hell out of me," she admitted softly, holding onto him tightly.

"Don't be afraid. Please, don’t ever be afraid of me." he whispered before slowly, hesitantly, pulling away and standing up straight.

"Bye, Donna," he cleared his throat and told her as if he was suddenly completely removed from the current situation, as though he was bidding her farewell in the same way that he did when she popped over to the mess to pick up his lunch.

She studied his face curiously, taken aback by the entire situation. "Bye, Josh," she told him, squeezing his hand. "Be careful."

And with that he gave her a small nod, slipping out her front door.

Donna remained frozen to her spot in the kitchen, staring at the closed door for several minutes, before she shook her head, snapping herself out of it. Whatever it was, she trusted him, so she had things to do.

Taking a very quick shower, she pulled on some comfortable clothes for driving and packed a small bag for herself. She bit her lip, looking around the dimly lit apartment, and, in true Donna Moss fashion, tossed a few more items in her duffel- just in case. 

She threw the bag over her shoulder before reaching to pick up a still sleeping Audrey. The little girl stirred at the movement, blinking slowly at Donna.

"Hi there," Donna spoke softly, pulling her closer.

Audrey rubbed her eyes, still groggy.

"We're going to get back in the car now, okay? Did Daddy tell you that you’re going on a trip with me?"

Audrey hesitantly shook her head yes, tightening her grip on Donna.

"Go back to sleep," Donna told her, dropping her things into Josh’s already full trunk. Donna buckled Audrey into her carseat and placed Walter the Bunny in her arms, kissing her on top of her curly mop of hair.

Donna slid into the driver’s seat and locked the car doors, an uneasiness settling over her as she took a deep breath and started out into the night, taking the interstate out of town. Exiting the city in the silent car, Donna felt a chill as she watched the sun rise. She had a bad feeling about this.

They'd been driving for several hours, Donna completely lost in thought. As Josh had requested, she'd remained out of contact with the world, most of which was just waking up.

She began to fill the tank with gas, pulling Audrey out of the vehicle for a quick bathroom break and a bite of breakfast. As the two split a banana and a granola bar, Donna tried her best to put on a cheery façade for Audrey's' sake, but even a child could sense when something was wrong. She made it through breakfast, and was becoming a bit anxious. Her cell hadn't made a peep all morning- no call from Leo. As though she could sense exactly what was needed, Audrey's little voice piped up just as Donna was exiting the back seat.

"Donna?" Audrey asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Hmmm?"

Audrey gave her the sweetest little smile. "Love you," she told her.

Donna beamed, leaning in to kiss her on the forehead. "Love you too, sweet pea."

Returning to the interstate, Donna briefly engaged Audrey in some light conversation before she dozed off again as the car sped southbound. Needing something to keep her mind off of miles in front of her, Donna flipped on the radio, the nationally syndicated news channel already preprogrammed into Josh's radio. Turning the volume to a level that wouldn't disturb Audrey, Donna sat back to listen, her heart pounding in her chest as she heard the announcer's voice come over the speakers.

“…and if you’re just joining us, breaking news this morning out of the nation’s capital where Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman has surrendered himself into federal custody for crimes relating to the cover up of President Bartlet’s MS diagnosis…”


	29. Chapter 29

Donna’s heart was practically beating out of her chest. She had to have heard that wrong. Glancing into the rear view mirror to make sure Audrey was still sleeping, she turned to volume up to listen to the news. 

She’d heard it all correctly.

The bile rose in her throat as her mind raced. Jail? Indictment? She knew better than to call the White House. The odds that Leo was even available with something like this going on were slim to none. Josh said Leo would call, so he would. He’d call, she told herself, and tell her that this was all a mistake… right? 

She continued to listen, a reporter from WPBF Channel 25, coming on the air and discussing the day’s unfolding events with the anchor. “Reporting Live from West Palm Beach,” the anchor signed off. 

West Palm Beach? “Oh my God,” Donna muttered. They were standing in front of Edith's condo, weren’t they? They were waiting for a comment.

Donna quickly turned on her signal, safely maneuvering through two lanes of vehicles to take the next exit on the freeway and turn around. She couldn’t possibly walk Audrey directly into the maelstrom. 

“Mmmph,” Audrey stirred briefly and Donna immediately cut the sound to the radio. She’d get the facts from Leo later. She couldn’t risk the possibility of Audrey hearing something on the news and talk station.

Donna had always been quick on her feet, formulating a plan and altering her route. She glanced in the rear view mirror and watched Audrey sleep peacefully. She didn’t have time to think about anything but Audrey. Josh had entrusted her with the most important part of his life, and she wasn’t going to let either of them down. 

Only a few moments into their altered course, Donna’s cell phone began to ring. She glanced at the scree, seeing an unfamiliar number, and silenced the phone. She would wait for Leo’s call, just as she’d instructed. 

Her anxiety grew by the second as her mind wandered in the quiet vehicle. What was his plan? How did this end? Why would he do this?

Her phone rang once again, the Chief of Staff’s direct line flashing across as the caller ID. 

“Leo?” She was eager to speak with someone who had more information. “Leo, what’s happening?”

“Donna.” Leo, normally cool and collected under pressure, sounded as flustered as she’d ever heard him. “Are you alright? Where’s the baby?”

“We’re both okay. I have her and we’re in the car. Leo, what’s happening? Tell me you’re in the room.”

Leo sighed. “I’m not. I had no idea about any of this until he’d gone through with it. Donna, you have to know that I’d never ask him to do this. And neither would the president.”

Donna was stunned into silence. She couldn’t understand how things had apparently spiraled out of control without the knowledge of the White House Senior Staff.

“Where is he, Leo?”

“He’s already in custody, Donna,” Leo stated as calmly as he could manage. He didn’t want to upset Donna even more.

“And what’s going to happen to him?” She felt the tears pool in her eyes, glancing back once again to make sure Audrey was still asleep. 

“I don’t know yet. I’m working on it- we all are. But Donna, I just don’t know yet.”

Donna swallowed hard, listening to Leo try to recount all of the information he’d gathered that morning. 

“He was charged with one count of Contempt of Congress and one count of making false statements,” Leo explained. 

“But he didn’t-“ Donna was beginning to panic. 

“I know he didn’t, Donna.” Leo assured her. “From what I can tell they also brought one count of Lying to Congress, but he made a deal to have it dropped. He said he’d take the fall for the other two in exchange for the House to drop the investigation of the President's MS disclosure.”

“Why would be do that?” Donna’s voice was beginning to break. 

“He made a deal for thirty days, Donna. He was going to go away for thirty days and then it would all be over.”

“Leo…” she could hear it in his voice. Something wasn’t right. She just knew it. 

“He went in this morning,” Leo steeled himself. He didn’t want to have to say it out loud. He didn’t want it to be real. And he didn’t want to break Donna’s heart. “He made arrangements to surrender himself to federal custody. When they read the charges he plead nolo contendere, Donna. Do you know what that is?”

“Yes.” Her face brightened for a moment. He’d plead no contest! Of course he had. He hadn’t actually done anything wrong!

Leo sighed. “When he entered the plea for nolo contendere instead of guilty it pissed them off, Donna. They wanted someone to pin this on and they wanted it to be Josh. So instead of the agreed upon thirty days, they threw the book at him.”

“Wha- What does that mean?” She tightened her grip on the steering wheel, bracing herself for what was to come. 

“Twenty four months, Donna. They’re sending him to prison.”

Donna couldn’t breathe. There were a thousand things racing through her mind. This was a waking nightmare. 

“Leo, no!” She took in a shaky breath. “Leo,” she pleaded. “Please. Help him. Please.” She was desperate. 

“I’m doing everything I can,” he assured her in a tone that reminded Donna that this was probably breaking Leo’s heart too. “If anything changes I’ll call you, alright? And if you need anything you call me. Margaret will put you right though. Sam, Toby and CJ will probably check in at some point. We’re all going to find a way to get him through this, kid.”

“Thanks, Leo. I know you’re- Wait. Wait.” Donna’s mind began to race, the gears clicking to place. “Leo, I have to go. I’ll call you back.”

“Donna?” The Chief of Staff was startled by her abrupt change in demeanor. 

“I have to make a call, Leo. I think I know what to do.”

“You're inside on this?” His surprise was obvious. 

Donna swallowed, sitting up a little taller in the driver's seat. “Well, no. But I think I may know who is.”

There was a brief moment of silence on the phone. 

“Make the call, Donna,” Leo commanded without the slightest bit of hesitancy in his voice. If Josh trusted her, Leo did too. 

“Yes, sir.” Donna closed her phone and took the next exit, pulling into the parking lot of a store that hadn’t yet opened. She was in a well lit, open area where she felt safe, but could stand outside of the car and had a conversation she certainly didn’t want Audrey or the general public to hear. 

Her heart thumped in her chest as she stood outside of the chicken in the cold winter morning and she dialed the number, but the phone picked up on the first ring. 

“Donna,” he began with urgency. “I hoped you’d call. I’m so sorry.”

“How could you?” She willed herself not to break. “How could you let this happen, Cliff?”

“Donna listen to me,” he spoke in a whisper. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I had no idea that they’d disregard the agreement. Things are out of control but I’m trying to… look, I can’t get into it yet. But I’m trying to help him.”

“Why should I believe you?” There was venom in her voice. “If you wanted someone to take the fall you should have come to me with the subpoena last November! It should have been me!”

“Donna, it’s not about that. It has nothing to do with that, I assure you.”

“And why should I believe you?”

“Because you have no other choice right now,” Cliff reminded her. “And while I don’t agree with the Bartlet administration on much, I don’t think this was the right thing to do either.”

“He has a little girl, Cliff.” Her tone softened as she stared through the window at Audrey, who was clearly growing more apprehensive of her current situation as she sensed Donna’s stress level rise, holding onto her bunny for dear life. 

“I know, Donna. And he has you, too.”

“What?”

“Donna- we both know… I read it… Look, it doesn’t matter. We’re on the same side today. But the clock is ticking. I’ll call you later. Stay by your phone. And be careful out there.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, ending the call and getting back on the road. She felt so helpless. She wanted to fix this for him. To make it all go away. But Donna knew the best thing she could do was make sure the people he loved were safe. 

She picked up her phone once again and called Edith, who was understandably terrified for Josh. Knowing full well that the older woman didn’t always thrive in stressful situations, Donna took control once again. “There are reporters outside of your building,” she stated calmly. “We need to get you out of there. I need you to pack a weeks worth of clothing and head to the airport. Don’t tell a soul where you’re headed, alright? Book the next flight for Chicago. My brother Chris, the one you met last spring, will pick you up from the airport. Edith, don’t speak to or leave with anyone but Chris. Audrey and I will meet you at his place tonight and we’ll go from there tomorrow. I have a plan, Edith. You’re going to have to trust me.”

Edith agreed, seemingly relieved that she could simply follow Donna’s instructions. She trusted Donna with her life, and with Josh and Audrey, and she didn’t question Donna’s plan, assuring her simply that she’d see her that evening. 

Donna accelerated a bit, mindful of driving safely but knowing they needed to cover a long distance today, and they’d have to make several stops for Audrey to get out of the car, and potentially for Donna to speak with Cliff and Leo. She checked the ringer on her cell phone, making sure she wouldn’t miss a call. 

"Donna?” Audrey rubbed her sleepy eyes and looked around the vehicle. She was already squirming around in her car seat. “How much longer until we get to Bubbe's?" 

"Well,Sweet Pea, we had to make a little change in plans."

 

"NO! Donna, I wanna see Bubbe! I want Daddy!! I wanna go hooome!”

Donna wasn’t surprised at the meltdown,she was only surprised that Audrey lasted as long as she did. She used the rear view mirror to look at the little girl in the back seat.

"Audrey, look at me."

"Oh, sweetie. I know you're confused right now. But just remember, I'm here. I love you and I'm going to take care of you. Now. . . here's what we're going to do. We're going to count yellow cars until we get to the next town. Then we are going to get out and stretch our legs and find a little snack. Instead of us going to Bubbe's, she's going to meet us. But I can't tell you where yet because it's a mystery. We are on a little adventure Audrey. You and me, we're going to stick together and we are going to be just fine. Okay?"

Audrey hiccuped, her cheeks tearstained, and looked at Donna intently before nodding her head slowly. 

"Okay, Donna. You n me."


End file.
